


Dear Daddy

by cosmosatyrus



Series: Dear Daddy [1]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Epistolary, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-02
Updated: 2010-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-27 09:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 90,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmosatyrus/pseuds/cosmosatyrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joanna McCoy, daughter of CMO Leonard "Bones" McCoy, deals with being nine years old and her parents' divorce. James T. Kirk finds her to be a kindred spirit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Daddy

**Author's Note:**

> This began as a one-shot and grew into an entire universe. I have no one to thank but the readers for this and I dedicate this work to them.

Dear Daddy,

Surprise!

Mama doesn't want me talkin' to you, but Uncle Chris is helpin' me. I just tell her I'm workin' on a top secret assignment with my penpal in California and she believes it. It ain't lyin, tho'. Uncle Chris just says it's "obfuscating the truth a bit" - he says it means to muddy the waters so's you can't see the fish. I just don't want you thinkin' that I'm lyin' to Mama 'cause I ain't. Uncle Chris says I'm helpin' him with a top secret mission to improve the morale of the fleet. Morale means "mood" - I looked it up. If he means that my letters make you happy, then I'm glad, too.

Uncle Chris has been real nice. He came to see me after you left to tell me you were alright and that's when we started our top secret mission. Mama didn't like it much, but he explained that I'd be talkin' to someone else with family up in space and that it was good for Starfleet and all, but I just talk to him and you, so I don't know if that's obfuscatin' or what. He shore didn't tell her who I was gonna talk to - said it was classified.

Daddy, I hated to see him in that old chair. I just wanted to fix him up. He told me you saved his life and fixed him up as best you could but them damn Romulans messed him up so bad there weren't nothin' could be done about it. Maybe I'll be a doctor when I'm grown up and figure out how to fix Uncle Chris's legs. 

Love, Joanna

\---

Dear Joanna,

Babydoll, it's so good to hear from you, even if it's just a text transmission. I miss seeing your pretty face, though. You're doing a fantastic job on your top secret mission. The morale of the fleet just improved by a lot. Your grumpy ol' daddy can't help but smile to think of you. I miss you so much.

How's Hippocrates? Does he miss me? Does he howl all night and keep you up?

There's a lot of scary stuff out here, but there's a lot of pretty stuff too. We passed by a big nebula the other day that I would swear looked like a pink and purple butterfly. I thought you might like a picture of it.

I'm so glad you wrote me, but baby, did you dictate your letter? And don't say "damn." That's a grownup word. Honey, next time you type it out - it'll help keep your mission top-secret anyway. Don't you dare quit writing me, though. Starfleet needs you.

Tell the Admiral I said thank you when you see him next. There's so much I want to tell you, so much I want to ask.

Hope to hear from you soon.  
Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Yesterday, Luanne Campbell said that the captain of the Enterprise is an oversexed asshole, so I told her she was a dirty liar and punched her in the mouth. That's your ship, Daddy. Ain't nobody gonna insult your ship in front of me. Of course I had your med bag and patched her up after, just for spite. Before you worry, I took all the hypos out and there's just the dermal regenerator and an old broken tricorder in it now. Jezabel likes to ride in it, too, when I go on house calls to all my stuffed buddies. She's my nurse-bunny.

Sorry for saying "damn," but it's difficult to say "Romulan" without it. Morale is real bad here. I got in big trouble for hitting Luanne and Mama's got this boyfriend - who I hate. He wants to be my friend, but he ain't you and should get the hell outta our house. He sits in _your_ chair and when Hippo growls at him for sitting in _your_ chair, he gets a swat on the nose. That ain't right. He's just keeping it warm for you. Mama says you ain't coming home and I hate that, too. I just get so mad, Daddy, I wanna cuss and hit until I pass out.

I liked the pretty nebula you sent me a picture of. I'm having school pictures tomorrow and I'm going to wear the purple and green dress - my fancy one you got me. I'll send the picture to you when I get it.

Love,  
-Joanna

\---

Dear Jojo,

You sure got the McCoy temper and the McCoy mouth. Fortunately for you, it's part of your charm and you're adorable. Don't let your Mama hear you talking like that, though, she'll skin you alive. Your friend Luanne is right. The Captain _is_ an oversexed asshole, but he's also my best friend and the best Starship captain there is. His name is Jim, maybe you'll meet him someday. He's really, deep down in there somewhere, a good guy. You'd be surprised how much you two have in common.

I'm sorry things are rough at home. It breaks my heart that I can't be there with you to make it better. Of all the things I left behind, I don't care about my chair or my coffee mugs or any of that stuff, but damn, I miss you.

I'm trying really hard not to be a grumpy ol' Daddy and believe it or not, Jim helps me with it - Spock, too. I argue a lot with them, but they don't mind at all - and Mr. Chekov. He's always excited about everything. He reminds me of you sometimes in a way that makes me smile. I want all of them to meet you and find out how wonderful and smart you are, how you're just like a McCoy.

If things get too rough at home, find a safe place to be and go there. Call your Uncle Chris if you need to, but only if it's an emergency. Admirals are busy people.

You look beautiful in that dress, Jojo. I'm going to have to come home, just so I can polish my phaser rifle on the front porch when boys come courtin'.

Love you, be good, mind your mama.  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Jojo's a baby name. And I don't want any stupid boys.

I hate school and I hate everyone in it. They're all dumb and I'm so bored with math, I can't even tell you. I got into another fight, this time with a boy. I don't even remember what he said, but it was about you and it made me so mad I couldn't see straight. Now I got a big ol' black eye and Mama took away my dermal regenerator. She took me to see Dr. White. I hate Dr. White, 'cause I don't think he even likes kids. Morale is all shitty all the time here - sorry for cussing, Daddy, but sometimes you just need to.  
I hate everything. Mama's boyfriend is going to move in and I don't like him at all - I don't care if he's a vetrenarian. I don't care about his stupid horses, they stink and they bite. I don't care if his name's Peter and he wants to be my friend. He ain't my friend and he ain't my daddy.  
Mama packed up all your clothes and sent them to the thrift store, but I saved your brown flannel one. I decided it was my shirt. It don't fit, but I don't care. It's like she's trying to get rid of everything that reminds her of you, but she won't ever be able to, not in a million years because I'm here. I've got half your DNA, so I'm half you, half Mama. See? As long as I'm here, she can't get be rid of you.

Love, Joanna

\---

Dear Joanna,

Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I tried to make things work so you wouldn't have to go through this. I tried so hard. After your Papaw died, I just hurt so much. Your Mama wants what's best for you. She wants to provide for you and she's just doing the best she can. Just because it didn't work between your Mama and I doesn't mean we don't love you. We love every part of you. I wish I could tell you the hurt goes away, but I can't. It'll hurt hard, but you'll come through it. I know you will.

Listen, you've got to quit fighting and pay attention in school. You get your education and you can do anything, go anywhere in the galaxy. If you want to figure out how to fix The Admiral's legs or help someone that's sick, you have got to do well in school and follow the rules, even if you don't like them sometimes.

I don't want to fuss at you, darlin'. Aside from Jim, you're the only thing I've got left. I'm not even mad, I just miss you very much and wish I could be there to protect you. You'll find you can't hate everything all the time. You'll find something you can love and you'll hold onto it 'cause you're a mule-headed McCoy. I love you, sweetpea.

Love,  
Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

I'm not very good at helping your morale, am I? I'm sorry I got into a fight with that boy. He stays away from me now 'cause he thinks I'm crazy. I'm trying real hard to be good, but it's all so frustrating and it never lets up. I'm going away to spend a week with Uncle Chris. There's a summer program I can go to at Starfleet Academy for kids whose mamas and daddies are off planet. Mama doesn't like it, but Uncle Chris convinced her. I don't think she likes him much, but she says he's "connected," whatever that means.

I just like him 'cause he tells funny stories and knows everything there is about spaceships.

Mama's making me go to a counselor. She's this huffy Betazed know-it-all and all she ever says is, "I'm sensing some hostility." Of course I got hostility! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Sometimes she says, "And how do you feel about that?" -which is also dumb, by the way, 'cause if she's Betazed, wouldn't she know how the hell I'm feeling?

School's all done. I made straight A's and Uncle Chris is coming tomorrow! I'm so excited!

Daddy, do you think it would be okay to send a letter to your friend Jim?

Love,  
Joanna

\---

Dear Jo,

As long as you can keep sending me letters, even if they're angry or sad letters, it helps my morale. I really wish I could have been there more for you before and I wish I could be there for you now, but we'll just make do, won't we pumpkin?

You're a smart kid and you know what? Psychologists always have a hell of a time treating the smart ones. I want you to be good for the Admiral, Jo. No cussing, you understand? You act like a lady and tell him "Yes, Sir" and "No, Sir."

I asked the Captain, and he's very excited about it. Don't you cuss in front of him, either.

Have fun in San Francisco,  
Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Uncle Chris told me to quit it with the "Yes, Sir" and "No, Sir." I argued with him about it and told him that my daddy told me to be respectful, but he argued right back. Uncle Chris knows lots of Vulcans. We're going horseback riding tomorrow and I don't know what else, but Uncle Chris said something about a fancy dinner. I brought my green and purple dress.

It's real nice here. Mrs. Pike let me have cake for breakfast. Mama never lets me have cake for breakfast. She says I can call her Aunt Vina. She's from Paris and she's real nice. She's pretty, too, and likes to fix my hair up.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Captain Jim,

My daddy said we had lots in common, so I thought I'd send you a letter. I don't see it, since you're not from Georgia and you're a boy besides, but I gotta find out anyway. They said lots of stuff about you on the news and Daddy says you're an oversexed asshole, but really a good person. I don't know what to believe, so I decided to find out for myself.

I guess I'd better tell you about me if I'm going to get any information from you. My name is Joanna Rose McCoy and I'm nine years old. I get straight A's in school because school is easy and my teachers are dumb. I wanna be a doctor like daddy when I grow up. I like ice cream, I hate carrots, and my favorite color is purple.

Sincerely,  
Joanna McCoy

\---

Hey, kiddo!

Your dad tells me that you're the most awesome kid ever, which is hard to believe because I thought _I_ was the most awesome kid ever. I mean, I did save the planet - that's pretty awesome, right? And I am not either oversexed. How do you even know that word?!

Umm...I'm not sure what to say. My name is James Tiberius Kirk - don't laugh, Tiberius is an awesome name - and I'm twenty-five years old. I don't have to go to school anymore, but when I was in school I got straight A's. I thought all my teachers were dumb when I was your age, too. I wanna be a Starship captain when I grow up and since I am one, I think that's pretty fu- um, that's pretty cool. Next time we're on Earth, maybe I'll let you sit in my chair or Mr. Sulu can show you how to drive it. You'd like the Enterprise. I still haven't pushed all the buttons yet.

I like ice cream and I don't mind carrots too much, but I can't stand lima beans. :P Blech. My favorite color is green. I once knew this girl who was green with red hair, but I won't tell you that story 'til you're much older.

If you're anything like your dad, you'll be the best doctor ever - in the whole universe. Believe me, I've looked, and there's nobody better than your dad. I wouldn't want anyone else as my Chief Medical Officer or my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without your dad. I can't wait to meet you.

Love,  
Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Jo,

How are things at the Admiral's? Are you being good? Do you have enough insect repellent? Don't eat too much junk food.

 I gotta go, I love you, darlin',  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

You can't be the awesomest kid ever because you're a grownup. Geez, Uncle Jim, I'm a kid, not an idiot and I know lots of words. My daddy doesn't want me to cuss too much, though. Uncle Chris tells me lots of stories about you and a lot of them are about you fighting somebody or another. Did you fight a lot when you were a kid? I fight a lot. I punched Luanne Campbell right in the mouth, but she deserved it 'cause even though Daddy says you're an oversexed asshole, he's your best friend and stupid Luanne Campbell ain't.

I had a fancy dinner with Uncle Chris last night and there was this old Vulcan lady named Tapow. She says Vulcans got feelings, real big feelings, and they have to work real hard to control them because if you let your emotions out too much, you might hurt somebody and not mean it or you might make bad decisions 'cause you weren't thinking. She says that logic gives 'em peace. I might look into that 'cause I got real big feelings, too, and I could use some peace. Once I knew that, I liked her right away 'cause that means she's like I am.

Yours,  
-Joanna

Dear Daddy,

I went to a fancy dinner last night with Uncle Chris and an old Vulcan lady named Tapow. I liked her.

We did go horseback riding and we got to meet all kinds of people from everywhere in the Federation. We learned about what the Federation does, something about keeping the peace and stuff. Anyway, there was a part where we talked about what it's like to have a Mama or Daddy in space. Lots of kids cried, but I didn't. I hate talking about my feelings because it doesn't help. It was dumb. Miss Tapow says that logic gives them peace and I might try that instead.

We all got red Junior Cadet shirts and ice cream and tomorrow we're going to learn about Vulcans.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

What's up, kiddo?

Oh. My. God. You got to meet T'Pau?! I am so jealous. T'Pau is like...the ultimate ROCKSTAR of all Vulcans - of anyone ever. She's bigger than Elvis! She's the only person ever to turn down a seat on the Federation Council, that's how awesome she is. Wow! I was going to say something clever about logic and emotions, but now I can't get over the fact that you met T'Pau. Maybe you should talk to Mr. Spock about the logic thing.

Yeah, I used to fight a lot. I don't recommend it. You've got brains, kid, and you should use those instead of your fists if you want to be a doctor like your dad - not that I don't appreciate you defending my honor, because I do. Next time, you tell Luanne Campbell she's just jealous of your friend Captain James T. Kirk, because he's got the coolest job in the Federation.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but there were these scaly brown lizard people. Long story short, the only part of their culture they wanted to share with us was pointy on one end. Not to worry, though, your dad patched me up. He's got good hands.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim.

\---

Dear Jo,

Sorry I had to end my transmission so quickly, but your Uncle Jim had a run-in with a spear and some angry natives. He's just lucky it wasn't poisoned. One of these days, I won't be able to fix him and I don't know what I'll do. I stitched him up and put him on bed rest for a day, but getting him to actually rest is darn near impossible.

I am impressed with you. My baby girl is becoming a regular diplomat. I treated T'Pau when she was on the Enterprise, but didn't get much chance to talk with her. Jim acted like a teenager at a concert when he learned she was on board and was almost too nervous to greet her. I imagine that's the first and last time I'll ever see Jim Kirk being shy.

Anyway, I don't understand why anyone would want to suppress their emotions. I've heard Commander Spock talk about it enough and I argue all the time that a person needs their emotions. It's what makes us human. But what's more important to me is that you're healthy, both mentally and physically. Babydoll, you take whatever medicine works, even if it's Vulcan logic. I worry about you, sweetheart, and I miss you every day.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Did you know that Vulcan kids dance? We had plomeek soup for lunch and we learned all about what Vulcan kids do. They used to have these big ol' bowls to learn in instead of classrooms with teachers. I think I'd feel like a piece of cereal or something. Anyway, they taught us about logic and meditation and there was a Vulcan boy who let me touch his ears. He didn't let anyone else, just me. Vulcans are touch-telepaths and he said it would be too weird if everyone did it. He kinda turned green when I did it and I thought he was gonna throw up on me, so I quit, though come to think of it, they did say something about green blood, so maybe he was blushing. Do Vulcans blush, Daddy? Anyway, his name is Savas and he's coming to Uncle Chris's house to play chess later. He said I was real good at meditation - except he said it his own way. I like how he talks.

We're learning about Andorians tomorrow.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

You're so weird. Miss T'Pau was real nice, but there ain't no reason to get all worked up over it. I met a Vulcan boy today and he let me touch his ears. His name was Savas. I think it made him blush 'cause his face turned real green. Either that or he was gonna throw up on me. I couldn't tell. Anyway, we ate plomeek soup and learned about meditation. Everyone was all fidgety like a bunch of babies, but I sat real still and concentrated, just like we were told. Savas said I did "admirably." He also asked if we could play chess later and when I said I didn't know how, he said he'd show me. I asked Uncle Chris and he said it was alright. Tomorrow we're going to meet some Andorians.

Yours,  
-Joanna

\---

Dear Jo,

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Vulcan boy was sweet on you. I can't say as I've ever seen a Vulcan blush and Mr. Spock would deny it outright. It sounds like you're having a grand ol' time at the Academy and I hope you're being good for the Admiral. I've known some Andorians. They're an interesting people - high metabolic rate, adapted to cold environs, antennae for balance. I could go on, but I'm sure you'll hear all about it tomorrow. We'll be traveling out of subspace range for a couple of weeks, so this will be my last letter for a while. Jim is taking the ship to where no human has ever been and there's no telling what we'll find. I thought Mr. Chekov was going to burst. He can't wait to see new stars. I have to admit I'm both excited and a little scared, though I feel safer knowing Jim is here with me. I don't know why, but I do.  
Eat your vegetables, mind the Admiral, mind your mama, and don't stay up too late reading. I tell Jim almost the same thing every day and it makes me think of you. Just about everything makes me think of you. I miss you and I love you.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Hey kiddo,

I think Savas likes you. You're too young to be kissing boys, though, so make sure he keeps his hands to himself. Vulcans give smooches with their fingers - it's weird, I know, but I've seen them do it. And he'll try to ply you with logic, so don't let him. The McCoy charm is legendary and dangerous and as pretty as you are, you'll have to be extra careful. If I have to, I'll come back to Earth to keep the boys away, but from what I've heard, you can take care of yourself. You just keep your Uncle Jim informed.

Your dad won't admit it, but when we were in the Academy, all the girls thought he was... uh... well, a lot of them wanted to give him smooches. I had to beat them off with a stick for his own safety and well-being. I must admit that I was a little jealous.

Anyway, I won't be able to send or receive any messages for a little while. I'm taking us out into uncharted space and out of subspace range for a couple weeks, but don't worry. I'll tell you all about it in a couple of weeks. Maybe we'll meet some new people or discover a new planetary system! There's no telling what's out there and being the first humans to find stuff out here... Mr. Chekov says it's like Christmas, but I think it's much better. I think he's even more excited than I am, if you can believe it.

I'll keep your dad safe. He means a lot to me.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim


	2. Dear Leonard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jocelyn figures out that Bones has been communicating with Joanna. She is displeased. Kirk/McCoy is not apparent in this short sequel to "Dear Daddy," but I swear to Buddha I'll get back to it.

Dear Leonard,

I know you've been talking to Joanna behind my back. She's been obstinate lately, locking herself in her room for hours and refusing to cooperate with the therapist. Sometimes she reminds me a bit too much of you. The worst of it is when she talks back to me and my fiancé - that's right, Leonard, I'm getting married again. This time it will be to someone who's actually here for us, who won't be off planet more often than he's home. Peter's got a local vet practice and he comes home every night. Every night, Leonard - not for a couple weeks out of the year, but every night.

I appreciate you calling in favors with the Admiral to get her into the Academy summer program, but I think it just upset her more. She needs stability, Leonard, a constant, safe, and secure place where she feels loved - not fantasies of flying around the galaxy.

And then there's this sudden obsession with Vulcans. I'm almost certain you've got something to do with it and I don't like how she's just completely shutting herself off, emotionally. It's not healthy. This has got to stop, Leonard.

-Jocelyn

\---

Jocelyn:

You cannot cut me out of her life. I am her father and she is my flesh and blood. Yes, I've been communicating with her and it is my right to do so as outlined in the custody agreement. She's stubborn because she's a McCoy, whether you like it or not, and she won't cooperate with the therapist because conventional therapy won't work on her. I have told you that time and again and you still refuse to listen. She wants to study up on Vulcan logic? Fine. She's working through this in her own way and I pray to God you'd just let her do it.

I haven't called in any favors with anyone. That was all Admiral Pike's doing. I'm a Lieutenant Commander, for Christ's sake, and the only influence I have in Starfleet is over whoever happens to be in my medbay. If the Admiral wants to do something nice for Jo, who am I to stop him?

And stop taking her to Dr. White. He's a hack - graduated last in his class and has the bedside manner of a dyspeptic Klingon. I had the displeasure of working with him during my residency. Dr. Sanders is much better with kids.

I wish you well with your veterenarian. I hope he can provide for you and my little girl where I could not. As the Vulcans say:  
   
Live long and prosper,

-Leonard

\---

Dear Leonard,

Fine. You want to talk to her, fine. I can't stop you. But I'm the one that has to deal with it when she gets into one of her moods. I'm the one that has to talk to her time and again about cussing and fighting. I'm the one that sees her every day and it hurts when she shuts me out like this. It hurts, Leonard.

Live long and fuck off,  
-Jocelyn


	3. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savas and Joanna develop their friendship over subspace. They are not boyfriend/girlfriend - ask them, they'll tell you.

Greetings Miss Joanna McCoy,

I am glad we have decided to continue communicating, but regret that I must return to New Vulcan so soon. There is much to be done in establishing a new colony and even I have responsibilities that must be tended to. It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope that one day we will meet again in person so that we may continue our chess games. I am impressed with the speed at which you have learned the game and the beginnings of strategy.

You are unlike the other human children. I admire your determination and the way you focus when you are meditating. Are you continuing to meditate? It would not be logical to cease an activity with which you have shown so much skill.

I do not know very much about human culture, but I am attempting to learn so that I may communicate with you more clearly. It seems that the memory banks of this ship possess only vague and incomplete information regarding the daily activities of human children. For example, what kinds of foods to you prefer? Do you possess a companion animal? What do you do during unstructured hours?

Live long and prosper,  
Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I'm home now in Georgia and I am trying real hard to meditate every day, but my Mama keeps banging on my door. I tried to explain to her that I needed time by myself, but she won't listen. I get so frustrated I just wanna hit something. Do you ever get frustrated about things? When I had dinner with Uncle Chris and Miss T'Pau, she said that Vulcans need logic because they have big feelings inside and logic gives them peace. I want some of that peace. I ain't had any peace for a long time.

Anyway, you're the only Vulcan kid I know, so I can't rightly say whether you're like other Vulcan kids or not. I do like you, though, and I think you're smarter than any of the kids (and some of the teachers!) in my school. I start fourth grade soon and it's going to be boring just like third grade was.

I've been playing chess on my computer, but it ain't the same as playing with a real set and a real person. I'd like to play again with you some time. Maybe one of these days, Uncle Jim will take me to see you in his starship, the one my daddy works on.

I like ice cream and macaroni and cheese and hotdogs and I hate carrots. I have a hound dog named Hippocrates, which was my daddy's dog. He's my dog now that Daddy's not here. I like to climb trees and play doctor with my stuffed animals and ride my bike around.

You use a lot of big words, but I like it. I know what you're saying anyway, even though sometimes I have to look up words, and I hope I don't sound dumb to you.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I am told that this is the customary greeting for a letter to a person with whom one is fairly familiar and I hope it is acceptable to use the abbreviated form of your given name. I was unfamiliar with the greeting when you used it before and thought it inappropriate, but I have since been corrected.

You are remarkably logical for a human and you are wise to reserve judgement about Vulcans until you have more information. I do not know if I am typical of my species since any observations I might make would not be objective. You, however, appear to be atypical of your species. Your emotions are strong, but you choose to learn how to control them. That is admirable.

I have recently experienced frustration with my guardians. I requested macaroni and cheese to eat instead of steamed vegetables and explained that I wished to gain a better understanding of human culture by way of culinary experience. It was a logical argument, but my request was denied.

Perhaps you could find another place to meditate where you will not be disturbed. I am concerned, however, that the level of your frustration is disproportional to an interrupted meditation and suspect there is something else that is causing your distress. Are you... alright? I hope that is the correct way to inquire about your well-being.

Your mode of speech and composition are pleasing to read and I find your regional dialect fascinating. It distinguishes you from the other human children I met during my visit to Earth. If you would be willing to dictate your letters, I would be able to make a more detailed analysis of your dialect. I am interested in the nuances of Earth linguistics.

I anticipate your next transmission.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

You can call me Jo if you want. I find your mode of speech fascinatin' as well, but I reckon it'd look the same if you dictated instead of writin'. Maybe you do dictate your letters, I can't tell. Anyhow, I'm glad you like my accent and I'm glad you don't think I'm dumb just because I'm from Peach Tree Georgia and I sound like it.

You asked about my well-being, so I'm gonna give it to you straight. Ain't no reason to beat around the bush about it, so here it is:

My parents are divorced, my daddy's so far out in space I can't talk to him, my mama has a boyfriend who I hate - he keeps tryin' to be my friend and dammit, I don't like him. It ain't logical but he's got the stupidest lookin' mustache you ever did see and I don't like his horses and he sits in daddy's chair and fusses at Hippocrates. Not to mention stupid Luanne Campbell who's about as dumb as a post and wouldn't know logic if it reared up and bit her in the ass. I apologize for cussin'. It ain't ladylike, but she's all the time sayin' bad stuff about the Enterprise and I get so mad because that's my daddy's ship and my friend Uncle Jim is captain.

Anyhow, Mama makes me go see a counsellor and she's this Betazed know-it-all who just wants me to talk about my feelings. I ain't dumb. I know what feelings I got and why and talkin' about it is damn near useless! -Sorry for cussin' again. I just wanna know what to do with the feelings I got. I don't wanna stop feelin', I just want some damn peace.

Sorry for goin' on so long, but you asked. I'm mostly alright. Are your guardians the same as your parents? Did you ever get your mac & cheese?

I started meditatin' in the big sugar maple in my backyard. It's quiet there, 'cept for the birds and stuff. Nobody bothers me there. I went out there yesterday and meditated for a long time and I think I spent two whole minutes where I wasn't mad. It was a nice two minutes though.

I gotta go. Mama's got dinner on the table. I'm sendin' you last year's school picture of me in my favorite dress. You got any pictures of you? I wanna show Mama.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I am rather confused by human relationships. I was unaware that Captain Kirk was one of your relatives. Is he a sibling to your father or your mother? By "Uncle Chris," do you mean Admiral Pike? Forgive me, but he seems far too advanced in age to be a sibling of either of your parents.

Commander Spock is on the Enterprise and I am told he is the only one to turn down admission to the Vulcan Science Academy. What do you know of him?

I have researched the custom of divorce. Human courtship and marriage customs are strange to me and I do not understand them. It is unfortunate that your parents' decision to break their marriage bond has caused you such distress. I would also find it difficult to find peace amongst so many emotional humans. I mean no offense, of course, but rather wish to say that attaining a logical state is difficult, moreso for a human without a mentor. You are more determined than most and I believe you will persevere.

My guardians are not the same as my parents. They are called Sovess and T'Lia. My parents were Varin and T'Shal. They perished in the attack on Vulcan. I have not yet convinced my guardians to allow me to try the foods you mentioned, but I will be persistent. Please tell me more about your daily activities.

Thank you for the photograph. The color of your eyes resembles that of a colony of _Pediastrum._ It is a most pleasing hue. Also, your use of idiom and metaphor is very interesting. I should like to read more.

Peace and long life,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Uncle Jim and Uncle Chris aren't really my uncles. I just call them that because they're my friends and they're grownups. Yes, Uncle Chris is the same as Admiral Christopher Pike. He's real nice and knows lots about starships and his wife, Aunt Vina (not really my aunt) fixes up my hair. I ain't never met Uncle Jim in person, but I've seen pictures and he sends me letters. He's weird, but he's my daddy's best friend and I like him so far. I don't know much about Spock 'cept that he and daddy argue about emotion and logic. I miss my daddy, but...

Dammit, here I am goin' on about my problems to you an' you lost your Mama and Daddy and your whole planet besides! Boy do I feel dumb.

I looked up what a _Pediastrum_ is. It kinda looks like a green star.

I gotta ask you somethin'. Last time I talked to my Daddy and Uncle Jim, they both said you might be sweet on me. Are you sweet on me, Savas? 'Cause it would be real illogical to have a Vulcan boyfriend that ain't even on the same planet as me. And besides, I'm nine years old and kissin' boys is out of the question. It's gross. Anyway, I liked your picture.

This morning I had cereal for breakfast and it reminded me of those bowls Vulcan kids learn in. I thought about you and it made me laugh 'cause I imagined you swimmin' in milk around my Cheerios. Mama must think I'm crazy. I did my chores, had cornbread and cold fried chicken for lunch and went to ride my bike some. I'm fixin' to meditate in my tree, but I can't stop thinkin' about my daddy out in space. I ain't heard from him in a week and I'm real worried he won't ever come back.

At least I got my mama. I can't imagine bein' without my mama. It must be real hard for you, but you don't hafta talk about it if you don't want.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

The loss of my parents has been difficult. I think of them often and while their death is simply the end of their journey, I mourn the loss of their katra. I have lost control of my emotions several times because of this, but have managed only to do so when I am alone. My guardians have praised me on my ability to adapt and I do not wish to disappoint them, so I have told no one of this. Since we are both struggling to maintain control in a difficult situation, I feel you are a trustworthy confidante.

I convinced my guardians to allow me Cheerios and milk for breakfast instead of our customary plomeek soup. It is a welcome change, but I do not like the milk. I have also tried cornbread, but it was too sweet and made me ill. I do not eat meat, so I have not tried fried chicken or hotdogs. Macaroni and cheese is most agreeable, but I have not yet tried ice cream. What sorts of fruits are native to your region? My favorite thing to eat on Vulcan was the fruit of the P'lirit, but it is now extinct.

It was not my intention to initiate courtship and I agree that it would be highly illogical to do so. However, I consider you a friend and would like to remain your friend in spite of the great distances between us.

You are fortunate to have a mother who is concerned about your well-being, even though her approach is clearly illogical. I hope you hear from your father soon. Your concern for his safety is well-founded and reasonable.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I bet I lose control of my emotions way more than you do, but I'm tryin' to get better at it. It's been almost a whole month since I punched anyone. I'll keep your secret and we can try to get control together. I don't think I'll be much help, but I'll shore as hell try.

I swear, though, if that councillor mama makes me see asks me how I'm feelin' or says "I'm sensin' some hostility" one more time, I might lose control of my emotion all over the place! I done told her how I feel, dammit! It don't help. Sorry again for cussin'. Daddy says I shouldn't cuss.

Anyway, does "katra" mean everlastin' soul? 'Cause if it does, I got a theory about it. I read once that the universe don't waste energy. It just changes - you know, like there's energy in food, but it's stuck in the molecules somehow and then you can use it for running and riding your bike and climbing trees and stuff. My theory is that if people have souls, it ain't wasted when they die 'cause it just changes to somethin' else. I don't know if that helps, but I think of it when I miss my Papaw. He was a doctor like my daddy, but he got real sick and died when I was little.

I'm glad you're not my boyfriend. That'd be too weird. I'm glad you're my friend, tho'. You're smart an' intrestin'- inter-est-ing. Dammit, this thing don't type out right.

Cornbread ain't supposed to be sweet. Some yankee musta programmed your replicator. And you better not try ice cream if sweet makes you sick. As for fruit, I like peaches. Georgia peaches are famous. I also like blackberries. You can get peaches and blackberries from the replicator, but they don't taste as good as real ones.

I got a letter from Uncle Jim today! Daddy's okay. I ain't read the whole thing yet, but I'll let you know how it goes.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo


	4. Hey, Kiddo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk and Joanna talk strategy, logic, and kissing boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended viewing: TOS:Arena

Hey, kiddo,

Long time, no typey. How ya been? You haven't been smooching any little Vulcan boys have you? I missed getting your letters. The only people that I want to talk to on Earth are you and Admiral Pike and the Admiral's all business, y'know, "Yes, Sir. No, Sir. Please, can I fly my ship now, Sir?" *sigh* No rest for the wicked.

You know where we were? 'Cause whoa, man, if there was a back forty of the universe, we were in it. We were so far from anything even resembling human civilization. I can't even tell you how far we were out - mostly because it's classified, but also because it was really really far.

Your dad's really great. I mean, he's the best doctor ever and saved a guy from certain death and fixed all my scrapes and bumps. He takes really good care of me, even though he absolutely refuses to give me a lollipop and he's a little happy with the hypospray.

We met not one, but two new species! How awesome is that?! Of course, as per usual, they tried to kill us first, but we worked it out. This part's not classified, you'll probably hear about it in the news in a couple days. We saw a ship near Cestus III and we chased it and chased it and chased it and the next thing we know I'm on this asteroid that looks a lot like Southern California and fighting for my life against the other captain. I want you to commit the following to memory, just in case:

Saltpeter (potassium nitrate - kind of a white powder), sulphur (yellow powder, smells terrible), and coal. Put them together and you have black powder - KABOOM! I'm not advocating you blowing stuff up, so do not try this at home. Just, y'know, if you're ever out on the back end of space and need to make a gun out of rocks and sticks. Anyway, long story short, pay attention in chemistry class.

Anyway, turns out the Gorn captain (that's what their species is called. They look like dinosaurs) is a nice guy with a wife and three eggs at home (he's a reptile, hence, eggs). You're going to hear a lot of things, but the truth of it is that they thought we were an invasion force and we couldn't talk because their communications technology was different. We're working it out, though.

Can't wait to hear from you.

Love,  
Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Savas and I have been sending each other letters 'cause he had to go back to New Vulcan. No, he didn't kiss me, not even with his hands - I learned how to do the V thing with my fingers and he said "Live long and prosper, Miss Joanna McCoy," and that was it. He ain't sweet on me, I asked. We're just friends. He's learning about things I do every day and I'm learning how to meditate and stuff so I don't get so mad all the time. He even tried cornbread but some damn yankee probably programmed his replicator and it made sweet cornbread. It's been almost a month since I punched anyone, but yesterday I cussed out my counselor 'cause she don't know what she's talking about. I reckon I'll be in trouble for that, but I ain't got time for dumb counselors. No, I don't want to keep a journal of my feelings over ever-damn little thing.

Day 1: I'm mad 'cause I ain't seen my daddy in a while  
Day 2: I hate Peter's horses 'cause they bite and I'm still mad 'cause I ain't seen my daddy in a while  
Day 3: I'd shore like to punch Luanne Campbell in the face 'cause she's an idiot and, by the way, I'm still mad 'cause I ain't seen my daddy in a while.

It's pretty straightforward, Uncle Jim. I don't know why she can't get that through her thick skull.

Anyway, last week I went and meditated in the sugar maple in my backyard and there were maybe two whole minutes where I wasn't mad.

Daddy never hyposprayed me except with vaccines when I was little and he was always real gentle and he gave me a popsicle. He missed a couple years, though and I had to go to some other doctor, but that was so long ago, I don't remember. I go to Dr. White now, and I don't think he likes little kids.

Anyway, when are you comin' back to Earth? I can't get outta Georgia 'cause I'm only nine and Mama hardly likes it when I ride my bike a kilometer to the store - she'd freak out if I went up in space. We ought to meet properly one day because friends oughta shake hands with each other at least once - unless your friend is a Vulcan. I don't reckon you shake hands with Commander Spock 'cause that'd be like kissing.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Hey, kiddo,

Are you sure? 'Cause I think he likes you. What's he say? He's not writing you poetry and complimenting your eyes or the shape of your chin or something is he? I have no idea how Vulcans flirt - I'm sure it's all very logical. Once I saw Spock kissing our communications officer - on the lips kissing. It was weird. I don't think they're dating anymore, though, 'cause she doesn't make the sexy eyes at him on the bridge. I don't ever remember shaking his hand.

You should totally keep a journal exactly like that to give to your therapist.

No, don't. That's what I want you to do because it would be awesome to see her face when she reads it. What you _should_ do is cooperate with her. Play their game for awhile until you can get out and do what you really want to do. I didn't figure that out 'til my twenties.

How come _I_ don't get a popsicle when I go to medbay? Unfair, I say!

I don't know when we'll get back to Earth, kiddo, but I'll do what I can. I have to follow Starfleet's orders and go where they tell me to, but I promise - cross my heart - that next time we're home, I will make a special trip to come shake your hand and meet you properly. I'd love to meet the daughter of my best friend in the whole galaxy. You shoulda seen him!

So, we were getting attacked, right? Bombs are flying, stuff is blowing up, and the ship's got shields up, so we can't beam up. And your dad is _right there_ with his patient all cool and taking care of this Lieutenant 'cause he was gonna die otherwise. Meanwhile, I'm shooting grenades and trying not to get myself blown up. You shoulda seen him! Man, it was AWESOME!

We're going on shore leave soon, so we'll have plenty of time to write. Let me know how the meditation thing is working out for you.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Are you sure that was my daddy? My daddy who's afraid of space and hates transporters? And there were bombs? Better check and see if that's really him and not some alien that took over his brain.

Savas ain't sweet on me! He said my eyes were the color of algae. I don't thing that's flirting, Uncle Jim, just a statement of fact. And he ain't never wrote me no poetry. I know that ain't correct grammar, but it's my regional dialect, so there. I don't think Vulcans flirt. It's illogical and emotional - so don't be dumb. Why are you even talking about this? I'm nine, I don't kiss boys. Kissing boys is gross.

The logical thing to do if you want a popsicle is to ask for one. You ever asked Daddy if you can have a popsicle? If he says no, you can still get one 'cause you're the captain. I think the captain oughta have a popsicle if he wants one. That's what I'd do. If I were Captain, I'd have ice cream every day.

You oughta have shore leave here. I understand if you can't, but I know people in Starfleet. Maybe I can ask Uncle Chris. He told me he had a bug in his brain one time and it was real uncomfortable. That's why I asked if Daddy's got some mind-control alien in his head.

I start fourth grade soon. I'm gonna be bored outta my mind.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

What's up, kiddo?

Yeah, that was your dad - no brain bugs, we checked twice. Your dad is really just that awesome.

So, hypothetically, how would you feel about it if someone were interested in your dad? I mean, in the flirting and dating kind of way? He's a good looking guy, y'know, and I don't think he notices when girls are checking him out. I just want to preserve morale on my ship and I can't have my CMO dating someone you wouldn't approve of. 'Cause, that would cause problems down the road and I need him to be focused on his job. I'm thinking ahead - it's strategy, like when you're playing chess.

Anyway, you're absolutely right. If I want a popsicle, I should ask for one. Unfortunately, your dad won't let me have ice cream every day and he makes me eat my vegetables, even when it's lima beans. He watches me do it!

Brain bugs? Totally gross. Kissing? Not gross. I started kissing girls when I was six and I haven't stopped since - until recently. There are no girls for me to kiss on the Enterprise. It's starting to make me crazy.

You save your favors with Starfleet for when you really need it. We'll be back home soon enough and we'll have a big party with cake and ice cream - but no clowns. I hate clowns. We threw a big birthday party for Chekov. It was awesome. There were no clowns.

Believe me, I know what it's like to be bored in school. Maybe you can skip a grade. You'd have to ask your mom, of course, but I bet you can start formulating a logical argument now. Maybe your Vulcan friend can help. Use big words and practice your serious face. That'll help.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

You're talking like you already know somebody that's sweet on Daddy, so we can cut through the strategy bull-hockey and get down to brass tacks. Who is she? You can't see it, but I'm making my serious face at you so you know I mean business.

Kissing is so gross. If you were kissing girls when you were six, that don't mean kissing ain't gross, that means you're gross. And since you're a boy and most boys are disgusting, all evidence points to the fact that you are gross. How's that for logic, Uncle Jim!

You better do what Daddy tells you, even if it's eating lima beans, 'cause he's a doctor and he knows better than you about that stuff. I still think you should have as much ice cream as you want, though. Tell Daddy it's got calcium in it.

I don't like clowns, either. They're creepy. Mama got me a clown for my seventh birthday and he got all up in my face so I kicked him. I got in trouble, but I ain't had a clown since, so I guess it worked.

What's a good way to say that I'm bored in school? I can't work it out so it sounds right. I told her outright I wanted to skip a grade and that didn't work. Her stupid boyfriend said something about social development and she agreed with him. I put dirt in the coffee - just enough so it tasted bad, but they couldn't figure out why. Stupid Peter and his stupid mustache and his stupid horses. He ain't my daddy and he ain't my friend and he don't know the first thing about my social development. The only thing he knows about is how to stick his hand up a horse's ass without getting kicked.

I didn't get in trouble for cussing out the counselor. I can't figure out why - I really tore into her and used every cuss word I could think of. I even said she was being illogical. I don't get it. Grownups are weird.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Whaddya know, Jo?

McCoys will be my undoing. If you were my kid, I'd be forced to give you ice cream every day and I'd have to find a planet to make you princess of. No. Queen. Queen Joanna McCoy of the planet McCoy III in the McCoy system. I know that serious face. Your dad makes it. It's the "don't even bother arguing with me" face.

The identity of the person interested in your father is classified. So there. XP (That's me sticking my tongue out at you) And you wait, you'll change your mind about kissing and boys.

The dirt in the coffee was funny - hilarious, even - but wrong. Next time ask him if he has a psychology degree. He will say "no." Then you tell him he can address your social development when he's got a degree in child psychology. I think that's a valid argument and it gives me an idea.

Try this: Next time you go to your counselor, act all mad - if you don't they'll suspect something's up. Then, you say "I'm starting fourth grade soon and if third grade is any indication, I will fail to be challenged, academically speaking." Tell her you think it exacerbates your inability to cope with the issues you have regarding your father - therapists eat it up whenever you use the word "cope." I really know what I'm talking about here - this is good strategy. She'll talk to your mom about it and voilá! Jo McCoy's in fifth grade.

I had a stepdad when I was your age. I didn't get along with him at all and I want you to believe me when I say it could be a whole lot worse. You just keep being a McCoy and you'll do fine.

We're doing some very boring flying from Cestus III to a place we can have shore leave (classified, don't ask). I think I'm going to go insane.

The bit about calcium worked, by the way. Ice cream for Captain Jim!

Love,  
Uncle Jim

P.S. It's always a good idea to have a voice-activated clearance code to protect personal data.

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

I'll find out who it is sooner or later, so you might as well tell me. If I'm Queen Jo, that means I outrank you anyway. I'll try the thing with the counselor and the other thing with Peter. Try not to go insane, but if you do, Daddy's got training in psychology.  
Shit. Mama's got dinner on the table. I'd better go.

Love,  
-Jo

P.S. My data's been voice-locked since I was seven. I ain't stupid.


	5. Dear Jo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letting Jo talk to Jim Kirk is a dangerous thing.

Dear Jo,

We're back in subspace range, thank goodness. I had a little chat with your mama and I'll be sending you letters directly. I don't care for deceit and obfuscation, but do appreciate the Admiral's help in getting us in contact with one another. How was the rest of your camp, did you learn anything good?

Your Uncle Jim nearly got us all killed - again, but it all worked out okay, so I guess I won't give him too hard of a time. Unfortunately, a lot of people died on Cestus III, but there's nothing can be done about it now. Anyway, we're fixin' to go on shore leave for a bit and I can't tell you how much I need it - Uncle Jim, too. He works himself too hard and if I weren't there to tell him when to rest, he'd run himself into the ground. He's ornery and I don't think he'd mind me at all if I didn't have a hypo full of sedatives.

Anyway, how's things at home? You minding your mama?

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Uncle Jim told me all about Cestus III and the Gorn captain. He also told me how to make gunpowder, but I ain't gonna blow anything up, so don't worry.

We learned all about Andorians and Tellarites and we got to see a real starship in the museum and we learned about all kinds of things all over the Federation and what Starfleet does. Here's a picture of me and Uncle Chris with me in my red Junior cadet shirt. He showed me around the hospital you worked at. He has to go to physical therapy there and so he and Aunt Vina showed me where you used to work.

Uncle Jim insists that Savas is sweet on me, but we're just friends. I told him. We (that is, me and Savas) have been sending letters since you've been gone and would you believe his replicator was programmed with sweet cornbread? He's been trying the same foods I eat 'cause he's interested in learning about what human kids do and he likes my Georgia accent. He finds my regional dialect fascinating. He said that. Course, he also said my eyes were the color of _Pediastrum_. It's an algae.

That counselor mama's making me see is irritating. She wants me to keep a journal of my feelings and it's dumb. I know what feelings I've got, Daddy. I cussed her out yesterday and I reckon I'll get in trouble, but she ain't helping me none and wasting my time.

It's been almost a whole month since I punched anyone, even Luanne Campbell. I start school in a few weeks and I ain't looking forward to it 'cause I'm gonna be bored like last year.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Jim told you what?! I'm going to have to have a talk with him about age-appropriate topics of conversation. Don't you listen to about half of what he says.

I'm glad to hear that you had such a good time in San Francisco. I hope you were good for the Admiral. You look so happy in that picture you sent me. I wish I could have been there to show you myself, but I'm very glad you got the opportunity to see Starfleet Medical. They do a lot of good work there.

I think your Uncle Jim may be right about Savas. I think he's sweet on you. You tell him cornbread ain't supposed to be sweet and that your daddy is a fine shot with a phaser pistol.

I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble with your counselor, but you've got to cooperate with her. She's only trying to help. I know sometimes school can be boring, but you'll be beautiful and brilliant as always. Try not to give your teacher too hard of a time. You keep using your head instead of your fists, babydoll. I'm very proud of you for not fighting.

Are you still studying Vulcan logic?

Be good.  
Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

I ain't gonna blow anything up, I already told you! I got sense, Daddy, and hush up about Savas, we're just friends. Also, I already told him cornbread ain't supposed to be sweet.

Uncle Jim says that you were all brave and taking care of somebody when there were bombs and stuff. He also said Spock was kissing the communications officer on the lips. I'm not sure if I believe half of what he says, Daddy, he's so weird. Anyway, I think that whenever he has to go to see you, you should give him a popsicle. Maybe then he won't be so scared of hyposprays.

I'm still studying up on logic and I'm still meditating. I've taken to meditating in the sugar maple out back where it's quiet and mama and Peter don't bother me. I reckon it's helping me not be so mad all the time. I'm really trying hard at it, but I still lose control of my emotions sometimes. It's real bad when I get frustrated at stupid Peter with his stupid mustache and his stupid horses. The worst of it is when he tries to act like he's my daddy. Then there's stupid Luanne Campbell and my counselor. I can't stand either of them.

Hippocrates pooped in Peter's shoes the other day. I tried real hard not to laugh. He got real mad, but mama didn't punish me 'cause it ain't like I did it.

I hope you and Uncle Jim have a good shore leave. Maybe one time all of y'all can come back to Earth and I can meet him properly. I'd like to meet Mr. Spock, too.

Love you,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I was just doing my job. I was scared, but your Uncle Jim kept us safe and got us back to the ship alright. You don't need to be hearing about any ship's gossip, sweetpea. Mind your own, even if Jim won't.

You may be right about the popsicles. He's stubborn about going to medbay when he needs it. I don't know what he told you, it's none of my business, but I only hypospray him when it's for his own good. Maybe Miss Christine can help me. She's my head nurse and she's very good at her job.

Spock would never let me hear the end of it if he heard me say this, but if logic and meditation are what you need, you keep it up.

I know you don't get along with your mama's boyfriend. Nobody said you have to like him, but he can't be all bad. As for Luanne Campbell and your counselor, just don't get into any fights, alright?

I wish we could go to Earth on shore leave, but we've got to go where Starfleet sends us. I don't know when we'll be home, but when we do, maybe your mama will let me take you up to the Enterprise. She's a good ship and I think you'll like her.

Be good, mind your mama, eat your vegetables, and don't stay up too long reading.

Love you,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Do you reckon I could skip a grade in school?

I have a feelin' Miss Christine is interested in you. Uncle Jim said something about somebody being interested in you and he said it was classified, so I reckon it might be Miss Christine. Did you know he's been kissing girls since he was six?

I never did get in trouble for cussing out the counselor. I don't get why, but I ain't gonna argue with it.

Yesterday we had carrots, but other than that, I've been eating my vegetables. I grew a whole two centimeters this summer and I bet it's 'cause Aunt Vina fed me so good. I like her cooking. She didn't once make carrots or greens. Greens are worse than carrots.

I'll try to be good and I'll try to get along, but that don't mean I have to like it.

Anyway, I'm gonna ride my bike to the store today and spend my allowance on ice cream and coke. Before you fuss at me, ice cream's got calcium in it and one coke every now and then ain't bad.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Letting you talk to the captain is a dangerous thing. He used the calcium line on me and since he's lactose intolerant, it worked. Everything in moderation, Jo.

You ask your mama about skipping a grade, but as far as I'm concerned, it's fine by me. I think it'll do you good to have a challenge. I don't see the use in holding you back to do busy work when you're capable of more. Of course, if your mama says no, there's no stopping you if you want to learn something on your own.

I'm not surprised about your Uncle Jim, he's quite the ladies' man. Miss Christine is just my head nurse and we're friends, but no, she's not interested in that way. This is the half of what Uncle Jim says that you're not supposed to listen to.

I'm really looking forward to shore leave. I could use a few days out of medbay.

Be good.  
Love,  
-Daddy


	6. Intership Communications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim Kirk should never be bored. A bored Jim Kirk is a conniving and dangerous Jim Kirk.

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 13:00FST

Jim, please sign off on these requisition forms. I need them ASAP to send to Starfleet Medical so we don't run out of supplies. Since about every third planet we orbit seems to have it in for you, we're going to need a full stock of bandages, antiseptic, and sedatives.  
-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 13:38FST

No problem, though I'm not sure about the sedatives...  
I'm attaching a requisition form for popsicles. I feel that medbay should be fully stocked with popsicles.

Your kid is THE BEST EVER! When we get back to Earth I'm going to kidnap her and show her the whole ship. I'll even let her sit in the chair and push the buttons. I just want to give her a great big hug - except she'd probably kick me in the shins. The girl is fierce.

Dinner tonight?

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 14:11FST

You told her how to make gunpowder?! Dammit, Jim, she's nine years old, she does not need to know how to make gunpowder. Just sign the damn form. And no, medbay does not need popsicles.

Yeah, I'll see you in the officer's mess after shift. Somebody's got to make sure you have something green to eat - and if you make one crack about Orion girls, I'll smack you.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 14:48FST

Medbay _does_ need popsicles. Because I think I deserve a popsicle for each time you stab me with a hypo. Since that's, like, A LOT, you'll need lots of popsicles. Also, I think that knowing how to make gunpowder from scratch _is_ a valuable life skill, thankyouverymuch. Case in point: last week - or did you forget how I almost died at the hands of a pissed off dinosaur guy?

Bones, you wound me - I would never make a joke like that. Though, now that you mention it, that _would_ be pretty funny.

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 15:00FST

You are an infant. Please sign the forms, I'm up to my ass in work down here. I'll see you at dinner.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 15:22FST

C'mon, you love me and you know it. Here are your forms, Dr. Tightass.

So... What do you think about this Vulcan boy? Savas? Isn't that the cutest thing in the universe?! We should tell Spock. Two credits says he raises an eyebrow and says "fascinating" and then gives you a hard time about it for the rest of forever.

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 15:57FST

Some of us have work to do, y'know - and we are _not_ telling Spock. The affairs of my daughter are nobody's business and I'll thank you to keep it to yourself. Dammit, Jim, we're off shift in a few hours, can't this wait?

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 16:13FST

But Bones, I'm soooo bored! It's just straight flying for five days and I'm losing my mind up here. One can only watch Chekov and Sulu make the sexy eyes at each other for so long - It's kind of like watching tennis. Chekov makes the sexy eyes and then his ears turn pink and he pretends like he's been paying attention to navigation. Then Sulu shoots him a look, blushes, and looks away again. We gotta get them together, if for no other reason than so they'll focus on their work again. I can't have my best navigator and pilot distracting each other.

Jo's too young for affairs. She's only nine, Bones, yeesh! Okay, I won't tell Spock.

It's adorable, though. I can just see this tiny girl version of you and this wee little Vulcan dude. I bet Spock was adorable at that age, all serious-face.

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 16:45FST

I've got fifteen cases of dermatitis from a batch of ship's laundry that went off for some reason and I'm trying to figure out what the hell went wrong and you're up there playing matchmaker? And don't tell me you're not trying to set me up - again. Really, Jim, Nurse Chapel? She's a fine woman and a great nurse, but it's not like that with her.

Leave Sulu and Chekov alone, they'll either figure it out or they won't, but best to let nature take its course.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 17:25FST

Nurse Chapel?! What the hell are you talking about? I'm not trying to set you up - not after last time. Cadet Peterson and the perpetually running mouth. I wanted to stab my eyes out with chopsticks. The sushi was good, though. Does Jo like sushi? We could take her to that place next time we're home - or that ice cream place near the shore. She likes ice cream. Can I have ice cream for dessert? I've been a good captain all day long and I promise I'll eat my vegetables. Besides - it's got calcium in it and you know I can't drink milk. Who loves you, Bones? I do. You're my favorite CMO in the whole fleet.

Sulu and Chekov locked eyes for two seconds just now. The plot thickens...

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 17:56FST

Fine, you can have ice cream, but you have to eat something green. I swear, if you didn't have me to monitor your nutrition, you'd eat nothing but junk. The four food groups are not meat, potatoes, cheese, and ice cream.

I don't know if Jo likes sushi or not. Her mother doesn't care for it - rather, she doesn't care for the idea of it, so it's possible she's never tried it. Ice cream's probably safer.

You give me one solid hour of peace and I'll be done here.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
15.7.2259 18:35FST

Aye-Aye, Dr. Tightass. One hour.  
You, me, officer's mess.  
Wear something slinky.

\---

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
15.7.2259 22:06FST

I'm not sure I can take five years of James T. Kirk. He's got the emotional maturity of a hyperactive labrador. Seriously, though, he's been sending letters to Jo and I'm glad to see they're getting along so well. It's good for both of them, really. She needs someone to talk to who's been through some of what she's going through.

This... vet Jocelyn's dating is probably nothing like Jim's stepfather. I'm sure he's a fine, upstanding citizen, but that doesn't make it easy for Jo. Jocelyn's still convinced that conventional therapy will work, but Jo's too smart for that. She needs a mentor and Jim's the perfect candidate. I hate to say it, but her sudden interest in Vulcan logic seems to be helping as well.

It's therapy for him, too. He's got more than just physical scars - microfractures in the forearms resulting from defense wounds, some trauma to the skull, other old wounds, little things that most would write off as a result of his long history of brawling. In fact, I did at first, but upon closer examination, I saw a pattern to it that I've seen more times than I care to mention. There's no reason to hit a kid like that - none. Ever.

Anyway, he's good for Jo and Jo's good for him. Even James T. Kirk the hero-captain of the Enterprise has issues. Maybe he won't talk to me about it, but I know there's a lot of anger there, a lot of hurt. He likes to take care of people, but what he doesn't realize is that it's meant to be reciprocal. He's decided to protect Jo in his own way and she gives him the sort of love you can only get from a kid. He needs that. Jo won't suffer fools and it won't matter if you're the goddamned President of the Federation, she'll tell you if she thinks you're being an idiot. It's not unconditional, exactly, but the conditions aren't what Jim's used to.

I'm starting to wax poetic here, which means time to shut up about it and just let them do what they're doing.  It's just that they're the most important people in my life and I want them both to be healthy and happy. They both deserve that much.

I'm glad they've become such fast friends, but I may have created a monster. I think Jim's planning to set me up with someone. They're both devious as all hell and geniuses besides, so no telling what they're up to.

I miss my little girl. I fucked up by not being there for her because I wanted to make the universe a better place. I'm a doctor. I'm good at what I do, but I'm a crap father. No way this makes up for lost time, missed opportunities, but I'm trying. I want to do right by her.

Shit. Physician, heal thy fuckin' maudlin-ass self.


	7. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo gives the best advice she can to Savas, who is dealing with the responsibilities of a young vulcan.

Dear Jo,

I am at my home on New Vulcan and I continue to experience frustration. My guardians continue to choose things for me, seemingly for my own good, but misaligned with my preferences. I attribute this difficulty to the fact that they were not present during the first ten Earth Standard Years of my life and are therefore unaware of many details of this early part of my development. For example, I enjoy mapping out the logical inconsistencies in works of Earth fiction, an activity that not only facilitates my continued development in logic, but expands my understanding of human culture. They see it as an indulgence.

There is an additional matter that I do not wish to discuss, but is causing frustration that far exceeds any I have previously experienced. You often use the word "Dammit" when expressing your frustration. I have attempted so use it in context:

Dammit, the apparent disregard of my preferences by my guardians is illogical.

I have done a cursory analysis of some of the foods you mentioned. The corrected program for cornbread was most welcomed and I have discovered that legumes and cornbread when served together offer a full compliment of amino acids. On these grounds, I have convinced my guardians to try it.

Have you received any transmissions from your father?

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Well, that _is_ appropriate context, Savas, but there's somethin' about a Vulcan cussin' that just ain't right! Don't you start 'cause of me. It's a bad habit. I don't know what's got you so riled up, but I'm guessin' it must be a big deal. I ain't gonna ask, 'cause it wouldn't be proper, but I hope to goodness you work it out. I don't want you losin' emotional control over it.

Maybe "riled up" ain't the way to say it. That's kinda emotional, but you know what I mean. Anyhow, I get the same way about my mama's boyfriend. He don't know my preferences either. He thinks he understands my "social development" but like you said, he ain't been around for the first nine years and some-odd months of my life. The best friends I got are you and Uncle Jim and I can't stand most of the kids my age. Especially Luanne!

You know what she said the other day? She said Vulcans were made by the Devil and when I told her she was being illogical, she said I sounded like a Vulcan and so that means I must be corrupted by the Devil. I told her that she'd just said the dumbest thing I heard all year! I've been on a good run and I ain't punched anyone in weeks, so I didn't wanna mess that up 'cause of stupid Luanne. I wanted to punch her in the face so bad, but I went to my tree instead.

I like beans and cornbread. Mama always makes greens with it, but I don't like greens. What do you like to read? I read a lot of nature books. I've got one on dinosaurs and another on sea creatures - it's got pictures of this weird Tellarite fish with big eyes. Mama made mint tea today, so we had some on the porch, just me and her. Before you try and get some, I know some people drink tea hot, but it's supposed to be cold and sweet with ice in it. You don't have to drink it sweet, but I like it better sweet.

Daddy and Uncle Jim are okay. Daddy saved somebody's life even though there were bombs and stuff everywhere and Uncle Jim fought this dinosaur guy called a Gorn but then made friends with him.

Peace and long life,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Luanne seems quite illogical, even for a human. I do not understand the insult, but you responded admirably. Choosing meditation over violence was most logical. This Luanne must be a trying individual to consistently evoke such a reaction.

I am having difficulty consistently maintaining logic and now my guardians have added to this difficulty. I am not ready for what they expect of me and it is indeed a "big deal." I fear that failing to inform them of my previous losses of control was a mistake and that they assume I have accepted the loss of my parents' katra more fully than I have. I do not know the most logical solution.

Additionally, they insist that my interest in human culture is a "waste of time." I disagree. You are my friend, Miss Joanna McCoy, and learning more about your culture is important in order to maintain that friendship. This does not mean I am uninterested in the Vulcan way. If being "riled up" is an emotional response to increasing frustration, then I am close to it.

I will not cuss if you think it inappropriate, but I am glad to know how to use the word in context. I am reading _The Adventures of Major Tom and Rubix the Spacedog_. I anticipate the publication of the twelfth installment so that I may add to my list of logical inconsistencies within the story.

The average ambient temperature on New Vulcan is slightly higher than that of the region of Vulcan where I lived and I find that cold mint tea facilitates the regulation of internal body temperature. I am attempting to learn how to program the replicator myself so that I can reproduce Earth foods as I learn of them.

I am glad to see that your father and Captain Kirk are well. I would like to hear more of their travels.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I'm real worried about you. I know that's emotional and maybe it ain't logical, but there it is anyway - a big ol' fat heap o' worry for my Vulcan friend. I don't have to be logical, I just wanna be so I don't get so mad all the time. If I could take all your emotions for you I would. People are used to me losin' control, so it wouldn't be no thing for me. I don't know what it is that's got you almost riled up, but I'm thinkin' on how to help. I got something rattlin' around in my head, but I gotta give it a minute.

It's sweet of you to wanna learn more about my culture, but you don't have to to make me like you. I like you just how you are. I don't know much about Vulcan stuff, really, but I'd like to learn more. They called it a "cultural exchange" at the Academy and I reckon if "exchange" means you give and you get, then we oughta learn somethin' about each other. I tried to figure out how to get P'lirit fruit but it was nothin' doin'.

I talked to Uncle Jim and he helped me figure out a way to skip a grade in school. I'll tell my counselor that I'm all mad 'cause school's about to start and if it's anything like third grade, I'll fail to be challenged, academically speakin' and that it's affectin' my ability to cope with the absence of my daddy (Uncle Jim helped me with that part). The counselor will tell mama and then maybe mama will let me skip a grade. Daddy says it's okay by him, but he's out in space and can't do nothin' about it. Does that sound logical to you?

I read _Major Tom and Rubix_ too! Don't you think he oughta just kiss Betty and get it over with? Even Rubix thinks so and he's just a dog. Maybe he oughta just say outright he likes her so then he'll know if she likes him back or not.

I'm still thinkin' on your problem. I'll holler if I come up with anything.

And Luanne is "difficult and annoying; hard to endure." That's what it says under "trying" in the dictionary and dang if that ain't her all over!

Daddy and Uncle Jim are goin' on shore leave, so they won't be doin' anything excitin' for a while. I'll let you know if I hear somethin inner- inners- Dammit! in-ter-est-ing.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Since I cannot ascertain the most logical approach myself and my guardians have already decided what is best for me, I must find help elsewhere. You are the most logical human I have had the pleasure of meeting, so perhaps you will be able to assist me in finding a solution. I will not give many details of my situation. It is... shameful to speak of it, but I can say that Vulcan marriages are arranged by the parents or guardians of a child. I was pair-bonded to a girl when I was approximately seven Earth Standard Years old. It is not like human courtship rituals. I do not know how to explain. But she did not survive the attack on Vulcan and my guardians have found someone who they believe is a suitable replacement. I am not ready to pair-bond with another and I am embarrassed that I am having such difficulty controlling my emotions.

I am certain there is a way to transfer all emotions to another person, but it would require touching and it is probably dangerous to the person receiving the emotions. I would not endanger you in this way.

Both your argument regarding cultural exchange and your plan to advance in school seem logical. I assume that you have already attempted the direct approach.

I have documented thirty-nine separate occasions wherein Major Tom might have expressed his affection for Betty, fifteen of which were facilitated by Rubix. Does Hippocrates show a similar level of awareness? I have never possessed a companion animal and am unfamiliar with dogs outside the context of fiction.

It may be difficult to obtain Vulcan food in Georgia, but perhaps easier to attempt a vegetarian diet. I did some research on the matter and it is not uncommon or unhealthy for humans to do so. If you wish to attempt a change in eating habits, I can provide you with numerous references and logical arguments in favor of eliminating meat from your diet. I have also discovered a lesser number of references and logical arguments to the contrary. Either would be sufficient to convince your mother or my guardians. Perhaps I will try hotdogs and fried chicken.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I went for it. I told my counselor about not feelin' academically challenged an' I'm just a-waitin' on it to get to mama. I'll have to tell Uncle Jim how it turns out. It was mostly his idea. He can be logical when he wants to be. I did try the direct approach before and it didn't work.

I'm really the most logical human you know?! Either I'm just weird or you don't know a whole lot of humans. It could be both. You never know. Anyway, thanks! That means a lot comin' from you. You're a sweetheart.

Lessee... Y'all get engaged at seven? That's awful young, but I reckon that's the Vulcan way of doin' it and I ain't gonna make too much of a fuss over it. There must be a logical reason to do it that way, you reckon? Anyway, she died and now your guardians want you to get hitched to this other girl? And you're still sad about your mama and daddy (and I reckon the first girl too) and you ain't ready, but they don't know you ain't ready so they figure you are ready and prolly just bein' stubborn.

You're just gonna have to put on your big girl panties and tell 'em straight out what's goin' on. That's the best I got. Ain't no reason for obfuscatin' at this point. Ain't no reason to be embarassed, either. I won't make fun and I won't judge.

I was thinkin' about it in my tree and it's gonna be real hard to give up meat. Me and Hippo really like bacon. Really a lot. I really like turkey sandwiches and fried chicken and hotdogs, too. But I s'pose it wouldn't be too bad if you could help me out. I'd like to try it.

Did you read the part in _The Adventures of Major Tom_ #5 where he was missin' the stars an' talkin' about his "lady in the stars" and such all? It went on for a whole page of that nonsense. He wasn't talkin' about the ship. He was talkin' about Betty. He missed his Betty and he didn't know where she was. Rubix knew though. Uncle Jim's way smarter than Major Tom. I reckon if he wanted to kiss a girl, he'd just do it.

I don't think Hippo's as smart as Rubix, but he usually can tell if I'm sad. Maybe dogs are a little bit telepathic, I don't know.

Shoot, that was a long letter!

Peace and long life,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I am meeting with the girl who is meant to be my new bond-mate and I have little time to write today.

I did not account for the use of the ship as a metaphor for Betty. I must reevaluate the entire series.

I assume "big girl panties" is a metaphor of some kind. Fascinating. I will attempt the direct approach at our evening meal.

I shall endeavor to assist you as much as I can in altering your eating habits.

Lastly, I do not know many humans, but of those I have met (most of them adults), you are the most logical, even when you are being emotional. I do not understand how this is possible, but it is interesting.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Good luck with your guardians and the other little girl. I'm prayin' for you. Maybe she'll be nice.

Puttin' on your big girl panties means to suck it up and deal with it. Um... I guess that's a metaphor, too. I don't rightly know how to say it. Maybe it means somethin' like takin' a big deep breath and facin' whatever you got to even though you don't wanna. That's a little better I think. That's one of my idioms, isn't it?

We gotta get you out more 'cause I just can't believe I'm the most logical human you know. It's sweet of you to say, though.

I really miss my daddy today. I reckon I'm used to him bein' gone, but that don't mean I don't miss him. At least I get to write him letters now. Uncle Jim says there's somone inners- inner- Dammit! in-ter-es-ted in him on the ship and I'm tryin' to figure out who it is, but he is tight-lipped about it. He won't budge, says it's "classified."

Classified my ass. He just don't wanna say 'cause he's afraid I won't like her, but I won't know if I like her unless I know who the hell she is!

Do Vulcans have poetry? And I never did ask you what you wanted to be when you grow up.

Mama's takin' me shopping for school clothes today.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I met with T'Lan and I do not care for her company. She is uninterested in Earth culture and finds my fascination with Earth fiction..."frivolous." I refused to pair-bond with her on the grounds that we are clearly incompatible.

I explained my difficulty maintaining control and my guardians are taking this into consideration. Construction is complete on the primary school I am to attend and I resume instruction tomorrow. It will be a welcome change, though I shall be reminded of Cheerios each time I enter a learning pod. That is acceptable since it will also remind me of you.

Present your argument to Captain Kirk as you have presented it to me. You may find it useful to tell him that his fears are unfounded and illogical and that if there is to be a difficulty, the truth will prepare you to cope with that difficulty. His prevarication is unnecessary.

Vulcans do write poetry. I have attempted metered verse on numerous occasions, but I am unskilled and therefore will not subject you to my failed efforts.

Perhaps my study of Earth culture will allow me to be an ambassador to Earth. I would then be able to visit and we could meet for games of chess and cold mint tea. What profession are you interested in?

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Chess and iced tea sounds nice. Maybe I'll be a doctor like Daddy and figure out how to fix Uncle Chris's legs. I get sad when I see him in that ol' chair and mad at them damn Romulans what did it to him and glad that Uncle Jim blew 'em up. I shouldn't be glad about that, but I am. That's a lot of emotions to have at once, but I reckon I can have all them feelings so long as none of 'em get outta hand. I can't do nothin' about what happened to Uncle Chris, but maybe I can help fix him when I grow up. I like playin' doctor with my stuffed buddies and it's fun to pretend, but I think I'd like to do it for real. I don't even think I'd mind the blood and guts much. Maybe I'll be a doctor on a starship and then I can come visit you. I ain't stayin' in Peach Tree forever - not if I can help it!

Sorry it didn't work out with T'Lan. Maybe you'll find somebody more compatible later on. Ain't no reason to rush about it, you reckon? It's important to be with somebody you're compatible with. My mama and daddy ain't compatible at all and I've told you what a mess that is. They used to holler at each other a lot. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I still ain't heard about skippin' a grade in school. I'm gettin' impatient. I'm tellin' Mama I want to quit eating meat today. I'll try it for a while and if I don't care for it, I'll quit. That sounds logical to me.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo


	8. Dear Uncle Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim Kirk has a difficult time minding his own business and Jo tells him how it's going to be.

Dear Uncle Jim,

I don't care if they _do_ sit right in front of you all day, Uncle Jim, you should leave Mr. Chekov and Mr. Sulu alone. If they wanna kiss on each other, it ain't none of your business. You're the biggest busybody I know (except for my counselor and Julia Higgins that goes to my church). You should mind your own.

Anyway, I told my counselor what you said and I'm just waitin' to hear about it from Mama. I asked Savas and he said it seemed logical to him, so I went ahead.

I got something to say to you. This "classified" business is bull-hockey. You just don't want to say who it is because you're afraid I won't like her, but how are you gonna know if I don't like her unless I know who she is?

I ain't never had sushi. Mama says raw fish is gross and I'm inclined to agree. Besides, I'm gonna be vegetarian for a while, just to see if I like it.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Hey, kiddo,

Vegetarian, huh? Savas wouldn't have anything to do with that, would he? I tried it for about three months, but I like hamburgers too much. There's vegetarian sushi, too. Sushi's the sticky rice. It's pretty good. Anyway, good luck with the no meat thing.

I'm crossing my fingers for you. You can't see it, but I am. My toes, too, and I'm looking very serious and captainy while I do it, so you know I mean business.

But Chekov and Sulu are _RIGHT THERE_ making the eyes at each other. It's obvious they need to be together!

Aaaaand... you caught me. In spite of my vast training in Starfleet intelligence, I'm caught by a nine-year-old kid. You're absolutely right. Except... "she" is actually a "he." I hope that's not weird. Some people are weird about that.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

You mean a _boy_ is interested in Daddy?! Are you serious?! I don't think Daddy's queer, Uncle Jim. And really, you should mind your own business. Don't you have better things to do than try and get boys to kiss each other? Geez, I was wrong, you're worse than Julia Higgins.

I ain't weird about two boys or two girls getting together. My cousin Michael has a boyfriend and lives in Nashville. He moved out of Peach Tree to go to college and probably also 'cause he was afraid of getting his teeth kicked in for being queer. The way I figure, if you love somebody, it don't matter what they are on the outside.

I told Mama I was gonna be a vegetarian today and we were gonna have a fight about it, but Savas sent me a whole list of stuff to read, so I had a logical reason for everything. Peter got in on it to and started talkin' about the shape of our teeth and stuff, but I told him that some of us have enough brains to figure out how to get what we need from vegetables and besides, I was having a discussion with Mama and he could kindly butt out. Mama said we could try it for a while.

I found out that Savas reads _The Adventures of Major Tom_ like I do and he likes to make lists of the logical inconsistencies in the story. Anyway, in the story, Major Tom is sweet on Captain Betty, but she doesn't know and I was tellin' Savas that you're way smarter than Major Tom and that if you wanted to kiss a girl, you'd just up and do it.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.7.2259 21:35FST

Oh, shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. I've got to tell her. I've been backed into a corner by a nine-year-old. James Tiberius Kirk is having his metaphorical ass handed to him by a nine-year-old kid. Okay, so she's a genius kid with really good bullshit sensors and logic, but still. And she's adorable - which is an unfair advantage on her part.

I'm the youngest captain in the fleet. I kick ass on so many levels, people are blinded by my awesomeness. If I can beat the Kobayashi Maru, I can do this. I can do this! I can do this, I can do this, I can do this! Here we go.

18.7.2259 21:58FST

I can't do this. I'm gonna sleep on it and send her a letter tomorrow afternoon. I've got some reports to finish up, so I can do that to distract me 'til then.

\--

Hey, kiddo,

Is Julia Higgins a little old lady with a hat?

How's the vegetarian thing coming along?

You're mostly right. If there was someone I wanted to kiss, usually I'd just do it. Unless it was someone I really really liked and wanted to be with seriously and then I'd be careful about it - strategy, you know.

And you're absolutely right about minding my own business. Your dad said almost the same thing about Chekov and Sulu - though I think they've made a breakthrough. Sulu asked Chekov if he wanted to go to the arboretum after shift. I think they might kiss.

So, anyway, the business about your dad kind of _is_ my business and not just because I'm the Captain. Your dad is my best friend in the Universe and, well, I don't know how to say this. I guess I'd better just say it. I think we could be more than just friends. I think I'm in love with your dad. I don't think he knows yet, so please don't tell - it's still classified. I've just upped your clearance, since you're Queen Jo and you clearly outrank me. If it's not okay with you, I'll just forget about the whole thing and move on.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

What's up, kiddo?

Haven't heard from you today. I hope I didn't mess things up. Please say I didn't mess things up. I think you're the awesomest kid in the whole Universe and if I messed this up, I'm going to feel like a great big jerk. Kirk the Jerk. It rhymes and everything.

You say so, and I'll forget about the whole thing and we can go back to talking about ice cream and stuff, whatever you want.

Hope to hear from you soon,  
Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Don't freak out. I just had to meditate on this in my tree for a while. I'm trying to think about it logically 'cause this is kinda a big deal and I wasn't sure how I feel about it. I reckon how I feel about it ain't as important as what oughta be done about it. I ain't said anything to anybody, not even Daddy 'cause he'd probably freak out. This is between me and you.

I never met Peter the stupid vet before Mama started dating him, so I didn't get a say in it. You asking me about Daddy is weird, but I reckon that's better than not asking. You're also my friend to start with, so that helps, too. Don't think I'd quit being your friend just 'cause you're interested in Daddy. You'd have to do something really dumb for me to quit being your friend.

Your being daddy's friend also helps. I still don't think he's queer, but I reckon that if it's for real, then it won't matter that you're a boy. I said it myself, it don't matter what someone is on the outside.

However, we oughta meet properly if you're sweet on Daddy and if you can't come to Earth and I can't get out of Georgia, we oughta see if we can talk face to face some other way. After that, I'll think about letting you try to be kissyface with Daddy. Even though kissing boys is still gross. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

So far so good on eating vegetarian stuff. Peter complains about not having meat in the spaghetti and Mama told him he's free to use the replicator if he don't like what she cooks. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't laugh.

And how did you guess Miss Higgins is a little old lady with a hat? She's got this big hat with flowers on it that she wears to church and she's the biggest gossip I know (except for you).

Love,  
-Jo

\---

JO! Hey kid!

Great to finally hear from you. I was starting to get worried. Like, really really worried that you'd hate me forever and I wouldn't have anyone to help me get ice cream and popsicles. You're my partner in crime, see, and without your help, Captain Jim won't get any ice cream. That means a sad Captain Jim with no ice cream. Maybe I should appoint you off-ship morale officer. You know what "morale" means, right? It means how the crew is feeling as a whole. If I'm sad, everyone else gets upset and then the whole ship is way less efficient. Therefore Captain Jim needs ice cream and I need you to help me get it.

Anyway, I'm going to try to set up a video transmission. Let me know what day and time and I'll try to sweet talk Miss Uhura into making it happen. She's a genius with subspace communication, but immune to my charms. I don't know how it's possible, but she is.

It's always a little old lady with a hat, particularly if it's one with big flowers on it.

Can't wait to hear from you,  
Love,  
Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Don't be dumb. I know what "morale" means and you should know that if you eat too much ice cream your teeth will fall out and you'll get fat.

Tell Miss Uhura it's real important and classified and stuff. I bet you know how to say it better than me. You'll have to use your best serious captain face.

I can talk at four in the afternoon tomorrow. That's Georgia time, if you can figure out when that is on the Enterprise.

Love,  
-Jo


	9. Encoded message: Authorization code required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a favor to ask...

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 10:25FST

I need to set up a secure video link for 13:00 tomorrow, encoded, highest priority. Address is attached.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
20.7.2259 10:30FST

A top priority encoded video link... to a McCoy household in Peach Tree, Georgia? Isn't that Dr. McCoy's hometown? Should I inform the doctor as well?

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 10:36FST

No. That won't be necessary. In fact, he is not to be notified of any of this until I say otherwise. Just make it happen, Lieutenant.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
20.7.2259 10:42FST

Captain, I need to know the name of the recipient so that I can properly code the message for voice authorization.  
...and a chocolate mousse.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 10:50FST

A chocolate mousse?! The name is Joanna Rose McCoy. Why do you need a chocolate mousse? This is your job, you know!

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
20.7.2259 10:59FST

I'm aware of the parameters of my job, Captain. What you're asking me to do is to encode a video message over subspace at a level of security usually reserved for messages to Admirals and dignitaries. You're also asking me to keep a secret from Dr. McCoy that regards his nine-year-old daughter. I'm not going to ask why you're requesting a secure transmission to a nine-year-old, it's none of my business. I'm only asking for appropriate compensation for the extra effort. A chocolate mousse is a small price to pay, sir.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 11:08FST

Are you blackmailing me, Lieutenant?

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 11:14FST

I wouldn't dream of it, Captain. Think of it as "hazard pay" - and make it a real one with whipped cream. I'll know if you ordered it from the replicator.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 11:20FST

You are a shrewd woman.

\---

To: Crewman Sartori, Alyssa M.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 11:25FST

Mikki,  
I've got a favor to ask. Return message at your convenience.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Crewman Sartori, Alyssa M.  
20.7.2259 11:59FST

Captain,  
If this is about more ice cream, Dr. McCoy already told me you're cut off and no, sir, you can't override the doctor's nutritional restrictions, regardless of your rank. I'd also like to remind you that I'm in the middle of Alpha shift lunch rush.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Crewman Sartori, Alyssa M.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 12:07FST

Mikki,  
Have I mentioned I love the way you put parsley on the mashed potatoes? And you make them with garlic. You know how much I love garlic. I even love your meatloaf, even though it's not real meat. You know I want you for more than your access to sweet confections, right? Besides, this isn't for me.

I need a chocolate mousse - a real one (as much as you can) with whipped cream for Lt. Uhura. I'll eat all my vegetables, I promise. And, keep it on the down-low, Crewman. I don't want this getting out.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Crewman Sartori, Alyssa M.  
20.7.2259 12:18FST

You owe me, Captain. You owe me big. I'll consider us even if you can get me something interesting from the hydroponics lab. And by "interesting" I mean an heirloom variety of a vegetable or fruit I'm familiar with.  
We're having Lima beans today, sir, I know they're your favorite.

\---

[Encoded message: Authorization code required]  
To: Crewman Sartori, Alyssa M.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 12:25FST

Consider it done, Mik - You're a lifesaver.

\---

To: Hydroponics Lab  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 12:58FST

I'm authorizing a request from the kitchen for "something interesting." Crewman Sartori requested an heirloom variety of a vegetable or fruit she's familiar with. I like those purple tomatoes, if that's what she means. Be creative, but not too creative.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
20.7.2259 13:07FST.

I'd love to help you out, Captain, but our water filters are on the fritz. I've tried to get it repaired, but it's a low-priority job.

\---

To: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 13:15FST

I don't care what you have to do to get it done, Rodriguez, just do it. Talk to Riley in Engineering. This is officially your responsibility now.

\---

To: Lt. Riley, K.  
From: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
20.7.2259 13:19FST

Hey, Kev,  
I need a favor. The Captain wants me to deliver some of these heirloom tomatoes I've got growing to the kitchen, but I've got to get the water filters repaired. Otherwise I won't have time.

\---

To: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
From: Lt. Riley, K.  
20.7.2259 13:24FST

You get me some of Scotty's home brew and I'll make the time to fix your water filters. See you at Wednesday Mass.

\---

To: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
From: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
20.7.2259 13:38FST

Scotty, I've got a favor to ask. I need Riley to help me out with the water filters in Hydroponics. Do you suppose you can spare him and a flask of your home brew? I'm working on something for the Captain.

\---

To: Lt. Rodriguez, E.  
From: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
20.7.2259 13:47FST

That's two favors you're asking me, lad. Whiskey's in high demand on the Enterprise and I've got to have someone on Gamma shift. It's a hardship and I'll have to call in a favor myself, but I'll do it for the Captain.

\---

To: Yeoman Rand, J.  
From: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
20.7.2259 14:08FST

I've got a wee bit of a scheduling problem here in Engineering. I've got to send Lt. Riley to Hydroponics, which leaves me with nobody on Gamma shift tonight. Now, I can schedule Russ for Gamma shift, but then I won't have anyone to help me with an experiment I've got going with the transporters. I need Chekov - the lad knows his stuff.

\---

To: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
From: Yeoman Rand, J.  
20.7.2259 14:12FST

Ensign Chekov's in high demand and this will be the third time I've re-worked the schedule today. You get me an appointment with Fredriksen so I can get my hair done and you'll have Chekov.

\---

To: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
From: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
20.7.2259 14:32FST

What's a man have to do to get a hair appointment?

\---

To: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
From: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
20.7.2259 14:40FST

With all due respect, sir, you haven't got much for me to cut. Besides, I've got a bunch of scut-work to do that I can't get out of.

\---

To: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
From: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
20.7.2259 14:49FST

It's not for me, Blondie, it's for Yeoman Rand! She's got a head of hair a mile high and she needs someone with your particular talents to do it up proper. I'd do it myself, but I don't suppose the shorn sheep look is what she's going for.

\---

To: Lt. Cmdr. Scott, M.  
From: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
20.7.2259 14:58FST

I'll see what I can do, sir. You know I'm an artist and I can't resist a challenge like that.

\---

To: Yeoman Barrows, T.  
From: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
20.7.2259 15:03FST

I've got an appointment to do Yeoman Rand's hair and it's going to take all day. Is there any way I can get the day off from deionizing power conduit insulation? One more day of this and I'll have to go to sickbay for space madness.

\---

To: Crewman Fredriksen, J.  
From: Yeoman Barrows, T.  
20.7.2259 15:18FST

I've got a date with Uhura this evening - girls' night in, you know, but if I can steal her away from her duty shift early, I'll have time to redo the schedule. Let me see what I can do.

\---

To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Yeoman Barrows, T.  
20.7.2259 15:31FST

Hey, Nyota, I've got to cut our date short tonight. I've got some extra work to do that just came up this afternoon, can you leave early? If you can get off the bridge at, say, 1600, we'll have time to paint our toenails and watch a movie.

\---

To: Yeoman Barrows, T.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
20.7.2259 15:35FST

I'm sure I can manage. I've been looking forward to this since Cestus III. You bring the popcorn.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
20.7.2259 15:42FST

Captain, I've got some very important matters to attend to with Yeoman Barrows this evening and if you won't be needing me, I'd like to leave at about 16:00.

\---

To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 15:45FST

What's in it for me?

\---

To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 15:47FST

Don't scowl at me like that.  
Fine, you can have the rest of the day off, but you owe me.

\---

To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 15:49FST

Again with the scowling?!

\---

To: Laundry  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
20.7.2259 16:09FST

Please have my dress uniform pressed and in my quarters before 08:00 tomorrow.

\---

Incoming message  
To: Capt. Kirk, James T.  
From: [CLASSIFIED:PRIORITY ONE]  
21.7.2259 13:01FST  
Voice Authorizaton required:


	10. Accessing file...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Please enter authorization code to access priority one transcripts]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When originally posted on LJ, I'd accidentally locked the post. Best. Mistake. Ever.

[Accessing file...]  
[Please enter authorization code to access priority one transcripts]  
[Authorization denied]  
[Please enter authorization code-]  
[Authorization confirmed. Accessing file...]

[Automatically transcribed and logged on 21.7.2259 13:32FST]  
Incoming message  
To: Capt. Kirk, James T.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
21.7.2259 13:01FST  
[Voice Authorization required]

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Voice Authorization Kirk, James T. *****-*****-*****

[Voice Authorization confirmed]

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Hey, kiddo! It's me, Uncle Jim.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I know. I seen pictures of you before on the news. What the heck is that you're wearin'?!

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: It's my dress uniform. I always wear it when I meet important people. See? These stripes say I'm a captain and this is my medal for original thinking. This one's for bravery...

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: It looks like a dress.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Well, it's not a dress. See? Pants. It's a tunic. Y'know, a long shirt? We've all got them, so I hope you're not going to judge me on the basis of my uniform. It kind of comes with the job.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I reckon that's fair. It still looks like a dress though. You meetin' somebody important?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: A very important dignitary. She's connected with the Admiralty and is something of an ambassador to New Vulcan.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: You meetin' Miss T'Pau?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: No. I'm talking about you.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: ...You got all dressed up to talk to me?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Yep. These are important negotiations we're entering into.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: ...Okay... Well, I reckon that we oughta get on with it, Uncle Jim. I got some questions to ask you.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Okay, shoot.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: First question: What is it you like about Daddy?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: I think he's good looking, of course - and clearly you got the McCoy looks as well. It's no wonder Savas likes you.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Uncle Jim!

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Okay, sorry - not your boyfriend, I forgot. Um, well, he takes care of me whether I like it or not and... I don't know. I just think that we make a good team.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Are you and Daddy gonna get married?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Whoa, whoa, whoa, kiddo. We don't even know if he likes kissing boys, remember? Marriage is like... _way_ down the relationship line. We're negotiating the possibility of _maybe_ me _dating_ your dad - _if_ he likes kissing boys.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Fair enough. If Daddy _does_ like kissing boys and you _do_ end up married, are you gonna act like you're my daddy?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Okay, no. I'm not going to act like your dad because I'm not your dad. However, Starfleet's got something called the chain of command. Here's the President, here's the Fleet Admiral, here's your Uncle Chris, here's Admiral Archer's dog, and here's me, then Spock, Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov, Cupcake, the guy that cuts my hair... you get the idea?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Who's Cupcake?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Big guy, works in security.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: His name is Cupcake?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Long story. Anyway, your dad is somewhere over here - he gets to boss me around when it's for my health - which is a lot, actually. Anyway, _if_ \- and that's a really big "if," your dad and I ever got married, he'd be at the top of the chain of command when it comes to you. I'd be your superior officer, as it were, but your mom and dad outrank me.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I reckon that's fair. Next question: Do you hate my Mama?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: If I have learned nothing in this universe, I've learned that insulting someone's mom gets you punched in the face - almost every time. So, for my continued health and well-being, I'm going to have to say no. I don't hate your mom.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Do you have horses?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Uh...no. I have a motorcycle, does that count?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Can I ride on your motorcycle?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Maybe.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: How do you feel about bedtime?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: I don't have one, but if your dad wanted you in bed at a reasonable hour, I'd have to back him up. However, if he wanted you in bed at an unreasonable hour, I'd object on your behalf.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: So what's a reasonable hour?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: twenty-un -rs- -nk--a -ee- -nt- -o?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: -nc- j-

[Transmission Failed]  
[Reestablishing Secure Channel...]  
[Voice authorization required]

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Authorization Captain Kirk, James T *****-*****-*****

[Secure channel reestablished]

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: What the hell was that?!

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Sorry about that, Jo. I was saying 2100hrs - that's nine o'clock

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Unreasonable hour?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: 1800hrs

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Allowance?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: I think a person ought to get paid fairly for work done. Therefore, I'd lobby for an income rather than an allowance.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Do you like dogs?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Yes.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: You gonna come back to Earth?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: As often as I can. I've got to go where Starfleet tells me to. I hope you understand why that's important.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Peace keepin' and stuff. I unnerstand. We talked about all that shit- oops! I mean, we talked about all that stuff at summer camp at the Academy. It was s'posed to help us not feel so bad about having a mama or daddy in space, but it still stinks.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Yeah, it does. My mom was gone a lot when I was a kid.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Really?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Yeah.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Well, alright, Uncle Jim, I reckon- hang on just a minute. Mama! I'm busy!... Quit bangin' on my door, I told you I'm talkin' to somebody!... I ain't sayin' who it is. It's top secret... No, it ain't Uncle Chris! Leave me alone!... I'll be out in a minute, it's real long distance!... Sorry about that, Uncle Jim. Mama's just worried I'm shuttin' her out or some damn thing. Oops, sorry for cussin'.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: That's alright. So, how'd I do?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I'll have to meditate on it some in my tree tomorrow, but I reckon you did alright. I'll give you a holler when I make up my mind. Anyway, how long we got?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: However long it takes.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I gotta go downstairs in a little bit, but I can stay and talk for a little while, if you want me to.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Oh, hey! You wanna talk to your dad?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Don't be dumb, Uncle Jim, of _course_ I wanna talk to my Daddy!

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: It's as good as done. Kirk to McCoy. Emergency, my quarters. Come quick.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Acknowledged.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: That's mean.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Yeah but it's the fastest way to get him here. Computer unlock door, security code Captain Kirk, James T. *****-*****-*****... Three...two...one...cue the doctor.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Jim! Are you alright?!...Where's the emergency? Why are you wearing your dress uniform? Dammit, if this is your idea of a-

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Hi, Daddy!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Jo?! Babydoll, how the hell are you? You bein' good for your mama? How's Hippo? You givin' that counselor a hard time?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I'm good. Yes, I'm mindin' Mama. Hippo's good - he ain't pooped in Peter's shoes for a week and I might be a little dissappointed about that. I'm tryin' to cooperate with the counselor, but it's real hard when she keeps sayin' the same damn- sorry, Daddy, - the same dang things all the time. Mama made stuffed squash for dinner yesterday and usually I don't like squash, but it had cheese on it and anyway I gotta eat somethin', don't I? I can't live on beans and cornbread - well, I could, it's got a full compliment of amino acids like Savas said, but it'd get real boring just eatin' the same damn- sorry, Daddy - the same dang things all the time. I know you can't say where you're goin' for shore leave 'cause it's classified and all, but I hope it's someplace pretty with maybe a beach or somethin' and you and Uncle Jim can hang out and maybe go swimmin' or whatever. Did I tell you we went to the beach in San Francisco? I didn't go swimmin', but it was real nice anyway.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Goddamn, look at you, Jo. Look how big you've grown! It's no wonder you've got little Vulcan boys after you!

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Daddy! Savas ain't my boyfriend! How come I gotta tell both you and Uncle Jim this ever time? We're just friends, Daddy. I'm learnin' about Vulcans and he's learnin' about humans - it's a cultural exchange. He says he wants to be an ambassador when he grows up so's he can visit Earth. He likes _The Adventures of Major Tom_ like I do and we're both waitin' on number 12 so we can figure out the logical inconsistencies. Hey, Daddy-

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Yeah, babydoll?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Did you ever figure out who was sweet on you?

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I reckon Uncle Jim was havin' delusions from abject boredom. He likes to play matchmaker, so I'm considering making him write all the reports he's supposed to be writing to keep him busy - for his own good and mine.

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Hey! I have plenty to keep me busy, thank you.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Well, you tell me when you figure it out, okay, Daddy?

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: I'm always doing very important captainy things!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I will, darlin'. You take good care of Hippocrates for me, alright? And make sure you get enough protein.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I gotta go, Daddy. Mama's got dinner on the table. I love you.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I love you too, sweetpea. I miss you so much. I'll send you pictures every day when we're on shore leave.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Bye, daddy. Take good care of Uncle Jim. Don't let him have too much ice cream.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I won't, sweetpea. Mind your mama. Be good. Eat your vegetables. And don't stay up too late reading.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Don't stay up too late reading. I know, Daddy. Bye-bye.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Bye-bye, darlin'

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Bye Uncle Jim!

[Capt. Kirk, James T.]: Later, kiddo!

[End Transmission]


	11. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luanne Campbell is an idiot, Jo's counselor is confused, and love is decidedly illogical.

Dear Savas,

I finally got The Adventures of Major Tom #12, but I ain't read it yet. I was gonna wait 'til you got it and then we could read it together and find logical inconsistencies and I could help you with the metaphors and stuff. 

Thanks for helpin' me with the questions for Uncle Jim. It was a good idea to ask him about dogs. Turns out he does like dogs, has a motorcycle, and he ain't gonna act like my daddy - which is good 'cause I hate that when Peter does it.

Anyhow, I'm glad your guardians ain't gonna make you get hitched to that T'Lan girl. I reckon they ain't too bad, even if they won't let you have macaroni and cheese as often as you'd like. I like spaghetti, too, even without the meat in it. Mama says it's a marinara sauce. That's what we're havin' today 'cause it's Sunday and we always have spaghetti on Sunday with fresh salad. We got tomato plants growin', so we get good ones in the summertime. There ain't nothin' like fresh tomatoes right outta the garden. You can't get that from a replicator. We got fresh cucumbers, too, but they come from the farmer's market.

I got to talk to Daddy over video! I didn't get to talk too long, but I was so happy to see him. Here I go, bein' all emotional, but I love my daddy. I reckon it's logical to love your daddy.

I was thinkin' on it 'cause stupid Luanne Campbell said Vulcans don't feel nothin' and of course, what the hell does she know, she ain't never met any Vulcans! I reckon if you feel the bad stuff like bein' mad and jealous and whatall, you gotta feel the other stuff too. That means if you loved somebody you'd feel it a lot and it'd be real hard to be logical about it. That's why you're so tore up about your mama and daddy.

I gotta go feed and walk Hippo, sweep the porch, and put all my laundry away. I hate doin' chores, but I can't read Major Tom #12 'til you get it anyway and I don't get my five credits unless I do 'em all. I know you said you got responsibilities, but do you have to do chores? Or is that the same thing?

Live long and prosper,

-Jo

 

\---

 

Dear Jo,

I have many responsibilities, some of which are daily tasks and some of which are more general in nature. My daily tasks involve maintenance and care of our household and garden. I must place dishes in the sanitizer after meals, wash our clothing, and assist in the cultivation of a small plot of food plants.

You are correct in your assumptions and, as usual, Miss Campbell is mistaken. I feel... incomplete without my parents and I was unprepared to be without them. I do not know if it can be described as “love” exactly, but I am a part of what they were and that connection is no longer there.

I do not know if this is typical human behavior, but in book #7, Major Tom uses his blaster when confronted with the Lantaran brain-sucking swamp mites in order to rescue Betty from the White Duke, but he had a supply of ultrapyrethro-acaride on his ship that he used in book #4 to rid Rubix of the mutant strain of ectoparasites he'd contracted during their trip to the beet farms of Rantax III. I do not recall the exact quote, but he proceeded into the swamp quite haphazardly because of his love for Betty. If it had not been for Rubix, Major Tom's brain would most assuredly have been liquefied. Love clouded his judgement and he did not remember that ultrapyrethro-acaride would have been effective against the brain-sucking swamp mites. Contrary to my guardians' opinions regarding this series, The Adventures of Major Tom serves as a source of many different examples of why the Vulcan way is preferable. They refuse to purchase book #12 on the grounds that Earth fiction detracts from my studies and encourages an emotional state of being. I argued to the contrary, but since neither argument was well-founded, my request was denied on the basis of their authority. Simple authority is an illogical basis for the denial of my request.

It is only human to be emotional, but if it is the peace of logic you seek, all emotions must be carefully controlled. However, I would not think you weak or lacking in any way if you were unable to attain a purely logical state. This is not possible for all Vulcans, either. It is only important that you make the effort. Few humans are willing to do even that.

I am pleased to know you were able to contact your father over video. Have you come to a decision regarding whether to give your permission to Captain Kirk?

Live long and prosper,

-Savas

 

\---

 

Dear Savas,

Yeah, I decided a while ago, but I wanted to let Uncle Jim sweat it out some. Of course, I don't mean to literally make him get all sweaty, that's just a metaphor that means I don't want to make it too easy on him. That don't sound logical at first, but I can't let him think he can get whatever he wants 'cause then he'll get spoilt. I ain't gonna stop him if he wants to try datin' Daddy and I figure it'll either work out or it won't. I still don't think Daddy's queer, but for all I know he could be. That's just not somethin' you talk about with your daddy and I don't wanna think about it too much. Kissin' boys is gross and boys kissin' boys is twice as gross, but I like Uncle Jim and I guess it'd be alright to have him as a stepdaddy. I'd rather have Uncle Jim than Pete who constantly complains about Mama makin' vegetarian stuff.

I'm sendin' you book twelve. It's called “Attack of the Lizard Men.” Uncle Jim fought real lizard men one time and got stabbed with a spear and another time he fought this Gorn fella and nearly got killed again. They should write stories about Uncle Jim. I bet you they'd be more inners- inner- innerst-Goddamn this damned fool piece of shit transcriber!

Sorry 'bout that. I can't figure out how to make it transcribe “in-ter-est-ing” and it's pissing me off!

I gotta go see my counselor today and I don't wanna. I ain't hit anyone in weeks and I don't want her rooting around in my head anyway. It's rude. I ain't telepathic, but if I was, I wouldn't go messin' around in somebody's head unless they asked me to.

I still ain't heard whether I can skip fourth grade.

Live long and prosper,

-Jo

 

\---

 

Dear Jo,

I regret that I cannot compensate you for the expense, but thank you for the book. I shall read the prologue tonight and will be prepared to discuss it when I receive your next letter.

The other children do not understand my fascination with Earth culture, nor do my guardians, and it is a consistent source of frustration. That which is included in our curriculum is insufficient and I have learned that there are great variations in language, customs, and belief systems even over a distance of a few hundred kilometers. Your use of a double negative is internally consistent within the dialect and I do not know if this is peculiar to your region or if there are other Earth languages or dialects that exhibit this pattern. The word “ain't” appears to be a contraction, but I cannot find a derivation for it. You also use the word “y'all,” which seems to be derived from “you all” and is the only plural form of “you” I have thus far seen in Earth Standard English. There is much to be learned.

I do not know if any humans exhibit telepathic abilities, but I shall research the matter. Perhaps you will be able to clear your mind during the session with your counselor. She cannot read thoughts you do not have. You need only to concentrate as you do during meditation. I agree that it is a violation of privacy to initiate a telepathic connection without consent.

It will be interesting to see how your father reacts to Captain Kirk's advances. Please keep me informed whether there is a change in status or no change in status. The expression of human emotion is fascinating, but I understand the expression of love the least. I am certain that this is due to a lack of data.

What is the meaning of “spoilt?”

Live long and prosper,

-Savas

 

\---

 

Dear Savas,

Ain't heard nothin' from Daddy or Uncle Jim. Well, I heard from 'em both, but nothin' about datin' or kissin', so I reckon Uncle Jim ain't got his nerve up yet. “Spoilt” means that you're used to gettin' your way all the time. The way Daddy talks about him, Uncle Jim is pretty damn spoilt.

There ain't no lack of data about love, but I don't understand it. I don't reckon anybody does. Maybe it's just illogical and that's all there is to it. I'll holler when I hear somethin' about Daddy and Uncle Jim, though.

I concentrated like you said during my session with my counselor and I think I confused the hell outta her. I kinda felt her bein' in my head, but I wasn't thinkin' about nothin', not even “hostility” like she likes to say. She talked to Mama without me there, which I hate, by the way. You don't talk about somebody behind their back. I've come to the logical conclusion that my counselor is just rude. Nobody's tellin' me nothin' and I'm fixin' to be hostile about that. I know I'm supposed to say “nobody's tellin' me anything,” but like you said, it's internally consistent, which I guess means I always say it like that so you know what I mean.

Major Tom's really is in a fix this time, isn't he? Don't you worry about compensation. I can spend my allowance on whatever I want.

Live long and prosper,

-Jo

 

\---

 

Dear Savas,

Shit! I got so caught up in the new Major Tom book and my counselor and stuff that I forgot to tell Uncle Jim he could try and date Daddy. Boy, do I feel dumb. I'm sendin' him a letter now.

Ll&p

-Jo


	12. Hey, bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is not whatchacall a family man - or at least wasn't

Hey bro,

You should see this place. It's gorgeous. We're on shore leave and I found a nice planet with a couple of good beaches in the temperate to subtropical zone. Bones is with me and I think he's actually having a good time – not that he'd admit to it at all.

I love my ship and I have the best crew in Starfleet, but I am glad to have just a few days to not be in charge. Of course, I'm never not in charge. Even when I'm officially off-duty, I'm still thinking about her and I've got this constant little worry about my crew in the back of my head. They're my responsibility, y'know?

So, I know I don't write much, but I hope you and the kids are doing alright. I could never live the life you do, with the wife and kids, but I think I may be settling down. Weird, huh?

I don't know - how did you know Aurelan was the one? I think I've found something that's for real this time... maybe, I don't know.

Talk to you soon,  
-Jim

\---

Hey, Captain Hero,

You can't write more than once every three months? I understand that you must have a lot to do, Mr. Captain of the Federation Flagship, but it doesn't take that long to say "Hey, I'm exploring strange new worlds today, hope you're all still breathing." How long has it been since you wrote mom?

The kids are great. Pete's getting really tall and Alex is toddling along so fast and gets into everything, so we've got our hands full. In fact, we just found out that there's going to be another one. We haven't had the genetic scans done yet, so we don't know if we've got a boy or a girl. I'll let you know.

I've applied for a job on Earth Colony 2. I hope I can get it, but there's a lot of competition. It's a population genetics study - nothing you'd be interested in.

I don't see you ever settling down, Jim. It's just not in you. My advice is not to treat it as a serious thing, mostly because I suspect you're thinking with the little head. I love you, little brother, but I've known you a long time.

Hope you're having a good shore leave,

-Sam

\---

Hey, bro,

Shore leave is much too short. I've got a stack of paperwork looming on the horizon that I've got to finish before we dock at the space station. I can't tell you where we're going, but it's big important stuff. We've got a supply run to make and I'm playing host to some dignitary. Maybe we can convince them to join the Federation - if I do my job well. I hope I do. I'm stressed out about it enough that Bones is threatening me with sedatives. I was kind of okay 'til I remembered that I've got the Cestus III reports, first contact reports, all that crap you don't want to hear about.

I promise I'll write mom this evening. I just don't want her to worry, y'know? I mean, what do I say? She didn't cry when I made captain because she was happy for me.

Maybe I already have settled down. I spend every day with the love of my life. She takes care of me, I take care of her, and it's not about sex at all. I mean, I have to share her with Scotty - the man has an unnatural love of her warp core and the way he talks about her aft nacells is downright obscene. Anyway, yeah... I've changed. I mean, I still like to flirt, but...

Sam, I watched billions of people die in a matter of seconds - you don't get over that. Suddenly fucking around just isn't that important to me anymore. I like sex, I really, really, like sex - I miss sex. I'd like to have sex sometime this decade, but I want more than that. He's got this great kid and she's smart, maybe smarter than me. Anyone that can make a kid like that... Anyway, I'm going to say something tonight. I've got it all planned out.

Send me pictures of Pete and Alex - I don't have any recent ones. Good luck on the Earth Colony 2 job. You're good at what you do, so I'm sure you'll get it. If the next one's a boy, you should name him Jim.

Kiss the wife for me,  
-Jim

\---

Mom,

I'm on shore leave the next couple of days. I found a nice temperate zone beach and the weather's been good - the vegetation here is kinda purply and Sulu has spent most of his time collecting plant specimens. He's got Chekov helping and I swear the kid follows him around like a puppy. Anyway, mostly I'm hanging out on the beach with Bones, which is nice. I only wish we had some beers or something. There's lots of paperwork waiting for me when shore leave is over, but it's nice to have a rest.

Sam tells me Aurelan's having another one. I said they should name him Jim.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love,  
-Jim

\---

Hey bro,

I wrote mom like I said I would, but I haven't heard back from her. Anyway, last night was a bust. I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm not going to let a little thing like rejection stop me. More tomorrow.

-Jim

\---

Jim,

I still haven't heard about the Earth Colony 2 job, but they said it would be a few weeks while they review my CV and some of my published stuff. I'm sending a few pictures of us that I took when we went to the arboretum a few weeks ago. They've got some nice orchid varieties. I don't really know anything about orchids, but they were interesting. Pete said they looked like weird jellyfish and Alex tried to eat one. I think Alex may be a botanist when he grows up. He likes flowers.

I wish you the best of luck, little brother, I really do. I give you a hard time, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you. We're all proud of you.

-Sam


	13. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost back to work and back to school for the McCoys. Negotiations continue.

Dear Daddy,

I got the new Major Tom book and me and Savas are reading it together so we can find the logical inconsistencies in it. We both figure Betty and Rubix are about fed up with Major Tom, and there's no telling how he's going to get out of the fix he's in. Anyhow, we're only on chapter 3 and there's like a dozen things that ain't logical in it.

Mama's gonna let me skip fourth grade! She got all the papers signed and stuff, so I start on Monday. I don't know why I've got to keep seeing that dumb counselor. I haven't hit anyone since I punched Troy for pulling my hair.

I got in trouble yesterday. Mama was out so it was just me and Peter and Hippo in the house and I was gonna ride my bike to the store, but Peter told me I couldn't. I asked him why and he said that it was dangerous, but I ride my bike to the store all the time - it's only a kilometer, Daddy, it ain't like it's far. Anyhow, he didn't have a logical reason I couldn't go, so I went anyway 'cause he ain't my daddy. I also told him to go to hell.

Daddy, I wish you could come home. I know why you can't. I get it. I ain't dumb, but that danged counselor keeps tryin' to explain it. Knowing it don't mean I gotta like it and it don't make it any less shitty.

Sorry for cussin', Daddy, but my morale's kinda shitty today.

Are you having a good shore leave with Uncle Jim?

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Babydoll, I don't like it any more than you do. You just try to hang in there and mind as best as you can, okay? I know he ain't me, but when he's the only adult around, you've got to mind like you would any other adult. Your mama wants you to see a counselor because she's worried about you, that's all. I know you're tougher than any problem that comes your way. You're doing just fine, Jo, and I'm proud of you.

You'll do great in fifth grade. Let me know who your teacher is and how you're doing. I want to know everything.

I'm glad you're getting along so well with Savas. He seems like a good friend and I'd like to meet him one day, but try and make friends with the kids in Peach Tree, too. Sugar, you've got to learn how to live with all kinds of people, not just the ones you like. That includes the Campbell girl.

Your Uncle Jim is acting strange lately. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it would you? If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was nervous about something, but he won't say what. It started about the time we talked over video and I'm wondering if he said something to you. If he didn't, don't worry too much about it. I'll take care of him.

We're having a picnic on the beach tonight. Jim insists we watch the sunset and build a fire. The fire's not really necessary, but he says he wants the ambience - whatever that means. Either he's nervous about our next mission or he's just a pyromaniac. I'll keep you informed of my diagnosis.

Shore leave will do us both good, I think. I'm sending you a picture of Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov collecting these purple plants they've got here. You'd like it. Except for the purple plants, it reminds me of North Carolina. You don't remember, but your mom and I went when you were a baby.

Be good, mind your mama, and don't stay up too late.  
Love you, sweetpea,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Ambience means "the character and atmosphere of a place." I'm not sure what all that means, so maybe he is just a pyromaniac. That means he likes to set things on fire. I looked that one up, too. It ain't a proper diagnosis because I reckon you gotta see a patient first. It's only logical. I don't really know Uncle Jim as well as you do, so I'm sure you'll figure out if he's a pyromaniac or whatever.

Mr. Chekov looks so funny with his arms full of purple flowers. Send me more pictures of you and Uncle Jim at the beach.

I'm a little nervous about school. What if I'm completely dumb and I have to go to fourth grade anyway? Luanne will make fun of me. She always makes fun of me - Troy does, too, but he's not mean like Luanne is and I don't wanna make friends with dumb ol' Luanne Campbell anyway.

I'm trying to figure out how to play chess with Savas over subspace. It takes a long time.

Love you, Daddy!  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

You're not dumb, babydoll. You're the farthest thing there is from dumb. Don't you worry about that Campbell girl. I'm guessing she's just jealous because you're so smart and beautiful.

So, how long have you known about Uncle Jim? You might have told me he was sweet on me so I'd be prepared. It's not that I don't like him, he's a good friend. I'm just not ready for that kind of thing right now.

We go back to the ship in a couple of days and we'll be on a diplomatic mission. Jim is really good at that kind of thing and I think he can convince them to join the Federation.

When do you start school? How's Hippocrates? Are you getting enough protein?

Be good, mind your mama, and don't stay up too late reading.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

I knew about Uncle Jim for a while now. He asked me first to make sure it was okay and I told him I didn't think you were queer, but I figure that if he's in love for real, it wouldn't matter if you were a boy. He wanted to tell you himself, so I figured it wasn't my place to. I like him much better than Peter, but if you ain't queer, you better tell him. He'll be real disappointed, though, Daddy.

I start school tomorrow. Mama took me shopping for clothes and school stuff and I got a purple backpack with stars on it and a lunchbox to match. I also got some new shoes, but they're just plain brown ones.

I don't think Luanne's jealous. She's just dumb.

Hippo's doing great, though he's kinda getting fat.

I'm getting enough protein, Daddy. I'm being real careful about it. Mama is making me keep track of everything to be sure. We talked to Dr. White about it and he didn't think it was a good idea for me to be vegetarian, but Savas helped me research it so I was all ready. I go to Dr. Sanders now. She's real nice and she asked about you. I said you were fine. She gave me a lollipop.

Love you,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I'm glad you're seeing Dr. Sanders. She's a good doctor. I'm thinking about you, sweetheart. I want to be there to see you off to your first day of fifth grade, but I'm sure you'll do great. How are things going with your counselor?

I don't know how to explain it to you, Sugar. I like Jim and it's not that I couldn't see him that way, because I might. I just like him too much to mess things up like I did with your mama.

Good luck at school tomorrow, sweetpea. I'll be thinking of you.  
Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

It's the first day and I've already got homework. It's science homework and it looks fun. I've got to draw an ecosystem and I'm going to draw a picture of you and Uncle Jim on the beach. I've got Mr. Phillips this year.

I have math homework, too, so I gotta get.

Give Uncle Jim a chance. You won't know if it works unless you try it. That's only logical.

Love,  
-Jo


	14. Intership Communications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does one date one's CMO when stuck on a starship in the middle of nowhere? Dinner and a movie?

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 09:00FST

Jim,  
I'm sending Nurse Chapel up with some forms for you to sign off on. It's all the usual stuff and I'd like to have those finished today.

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 09:13FST

Bones-

You're a bad person. I signed your forms, now will you go to dinner with me? Chapel gave me the glare of doom 'til I did it, so I think I deserve a treat. I want something that's not meatloaf, no lima beans, and ice cream for dessert. I can see why she's your head nurse. She lures you into a false sense of security and then *whammo* - you're flat on your back. I like her. Does that make me a masochist?

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 09:57FST

Jim,  
She's my head nurse because she's good at her job. In fact, she's the best there is and stop sending her to try and convince me to go on a date with you. I'm perfectly happy being single, thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I have a ton of work to do.

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 10:13FST

Bones-

I did not send Chapel. I merely mentioned that you work very hard - which you do. Dinner? Please? I promise I'll do my homework after and eat all my green vegetables (but no lima beans :P <\-- that's me sticking my tongue out because lima beans are gross. Hey, are lima beans from Peru?). Pretty please with ice cream on top? They're playing Shaun of the Dead in the ship's theater tonight. It's 20th century zombie movie week.

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 10:15FST

Jim,  
No.

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 10:35FST

Bones-

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please?

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 10:55FST

Jim,  
You're an infant. I've got a mile-high stack of medical records to update. I'm busy. How many times do I have to tell you no?

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 11:15FST

Bones-

Fall down three times, get up four. C'mon, Bones, please? We don't have to go see a movie if you don't want, but at least eat with me. You gotta eat, and besides, who's going to make sure I eat all my vegetables?

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 11:27FST

Jim,  
If you plan on convincing the Coridians to join the Federation by annoying them, you've got your technique down pat. I plan on having something from the food slot and working in my room and if I'm not mistaken, you've got a stack of reports to write your own self.

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 11:31FST

Bones-

We'll have dinner in my room and I'll work on my reports and you can work on your files. y/y?  
Negotiations are all about knowing your audience and I know you'll cave eventually. C'mon, Bones, spaghetti western night? I make a mean spaghetti ala food slot and have a stock of Clint Eastwood movies with your name on them.

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
2.8.2259 11:49FST

Jim,  
Those are my Clint Eastwood movies, you asshole! I was wondering where those went. Fine. See you after shift, but I'm taking my movies back. Now will you leave me in peace?

-McCoy

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
2.8.2259 12:03FST

Bones,  
You left them in my dorm room like, two years ago. See you after shift.

-Jim

\---

Get back, Jo!

I'm bringing out the big guns - Spaghetti Western night. Fist Full of Dollars or Hang 'Em High?  
You're sending me a scan of your science homework, right? I'm going to ask Sartori if she'll put it on the freezer door. How's math going? Are you doing multiplication this year?

How's Savas? Next time we make a supply run to New Vulcan, I'll see if I can get him some mac & cheese. I love mac & cheese.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Hope you get this in time. I had to finish my homework, but the math was real easy. We're doing fractions.  
Daddy likes The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. It's his favorite. And you better have salad with your spaghetti or Daddy will complain about no vegetables. You gotta have vegetables, Uncle Jim. I'll send you a scan of my science homework when I get it back, but why do you want to put it on the freezer door?  
I reckon Savas would love it if you brought him some mac & cheese. Things are difficult for him because his guardians don't like that he's interested in Earth culture. He suggested I clear my mind when I go see that counselor and it confuses the heck out of her. I think he's my best friend in the whole world and we read the Major Tom books together. I told him they oughta write stories about you.

Good luck, Uncle Jim.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Hey, kiddo!

Success!! Well, I think I'm wearing him down, anyway. We almost held hands - So. Very. Close!  
I want to put your drawing on the freezer door because kid drawings go on the fridge, duh. Also, that's where we keep the good desserts. Maybe I should put it up in my room. Sartori always chases me out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon - she's scary sometimes.

I heard a rumor that Chekov and Sulu had smoochies in the arboretum and Nurse Chapel just made the sexy eyes at Spock. Love is in the air and I'm feeling lucky, so I'm kicking into high gear with your dad - any suggestions? I'm thinking flowers and chocolates aren't going to do it.

I think everyone ought to have a best friend. Your dad is my best friend and Savas sounds like a really cool kid. I'd like to meet him some time.

Hey! When's your birthday? I should know when your birthday is.

As long as they don't make a bad serial program out of our missions where the ship is made out of fiberboard and blinky lights. Who do you think they'd get to play me?

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Ew. I'm rootin' for you an' all, but I don't got to hear about the details. It ain't appropriate. And what did I tell you about Mr. Chekov and Mr. Sulu? You leave them be, Uncle Jim! I'm usin' the transcriber real quick 'cause I got a lot of homework. Mr. Phillips is puttin' me in the advanced readin' group an' the advanced math group 'cause I showed aptitude, is what he said. One thing I didn't figure was that stupid Luanne Campbell would be in my class. I'm so mad, I could spit. She ain't done nothin', but I'm anticipatin' it. I ain't had time to go meditate in my tree since I started school and think I might lose it. That damn counselor is wastin' my time, too. I'm fed up with her. Then there's Peter. Don't even get me started on that. Anyhow, if I don't get my math homework done, it ain't gettin' done. My birthday's June 3rd. When's yours?

I don't know what to tell you, Uncle Jim. I try not to think about anybody gettin' all kissyface with Daddy. I watched a movie yesterday where people were slow dancin' and they kissed. You might oughta want to try that, but please don't tell me about any kisses. It's too gross. I'll have to think on who'd play you in the movies. I ain't never considered it.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: Cmdr. Spock  
4.8.2259 10:19FST

Captain:

I would be most honored if you would join me this evening. I will be singing Falor's Journey in its entirety with Lieutenant Uhura. Our performance begins at 1900hrs.  
Thank you,  
-Spock

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
4.8.2259 10:40FST

Bones-  
You have to help me. Spock invited me to his performance of Falor's Journey - all 348 verses. Please, Bones, I can't do this without you. I'm supposed to have this epic friendship thing with him and while the chess games are a lot of fun (especially when you're heckling - you're a first class heckler), I don't think I can stay awake through three hundred and forty-frikkin'-eight verses of Vulcan poetry. If you do this, I promise I won't complain about hyposprays for a month. For the love of all that's good and holy, pleeeeease come with me. I'll buy dinner.

-Jim

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
4.8.2259 10:55FST

Jim,  
We live on a starship, the meals come with the job. Fine I'll go, but you owe me - big time.

-McCoy

\---

To: Cmdr Spock  
From: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
4.8.2259 11:39FST

Spock,  
I look forward to hearing it. I've heard Uhura sing before and she's really good. I don't think I've ever heard you sing, though. It will be interesting to hear the story of Falor's enlightenment. I read it once and I'm sure it is much better sung.

-Jim


	15. Dear Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo loses control, but finds it again with a little help from her friends.

Dear Diary,

No, that ain't right. I ain't some dumb prissy girl like Luanne that keeps a diary and wears pink and is scared of bugs.

Personal log  
August 5, 2259:

Better. I ain't never kept a journal before and that dumb ol' counselor has been pesterin' me to since I started seein' her. I didn't see the point in it, but when we were school shoppin', Mama got me this new purple notebook and I put stickers on the back of it. She said that I could put down whatever was on my mind and nobody but me could read it. It's got a good voice-lock on it, so I figure I'd give it a try.

Peter wanted meatloaf for dinner. What part of "I'm a vegetarian" does he not understand?! _Meat_ loaf has _meat_ in it, you dumb veternarian. Why don't you go stick your hand up a horse's ass! Ugh! I saw him and Mama gettin' kissyface with each other and I 'bout threw up. I wish Daddy were here. I wish he'd beat up dumb ol' Peter and throw him out the house and make up with Mama and then everything would be like it was before - except Daddy would stay home with us and do his doctorin' here in Peach Tree instead of out in space. Well, I could wish in one hand and shit in the other one and see which one fills up first. I heard Daddy sayin' that to Mama once. It ain't a nice thing to say, but I don't feel like bein' nice. I'm never gettin' what I want anyway.

I'm gonna be stuck in stupid Peach Tree forever. I hate it. I hate Peach Tree and Luanne and counselors and Peter and his dumb horses and everything. I like Mr. Phillips and all, but if I could I'd go to New Vulcan. Then I could stand in a bowl next to Savas and he could teach me about logic and I could tell him all about Earth. We'd read the Major Tom books and never ever eat meatloaf again.

Uncle Jim is tryin' to get Daddy to date him. I think it's just gross and I don't think Daddy's queer anyway, but I don't want to disappoint Uncle Jim. I told him already, but he don't listen at all. I reckon he'll find out soon enough, but, well, if he and Daddy do end up together... Well, there's worse things than havin' Uncle Jim for a stepdaddy.

I guess that's it. I got letters to write and homework to do and Mama's gonna have dinner ready soon.

-Jo

\---

Personal Log  
August 6, 2259:

I. Hate. Luanne. Stinkin'. Campbell. Hate hate hate hate hate! I'm goin' to my tree and I ain't comin' out 'til dinner.

\---

Personal Log  
August 7, 2259:

Troy pulled my hair again. I punched him in the eye and now he has a black eye. I'm in trouble. I saw my counselor today. Even if I did everything exactly as she said, it wouldn't help me none and I wish she'd just shut up! Maybe I can't go to New Vulcan, but maybe if I could make it to San Francisco, Uncle Chris and Aunt Vina would take me in. I don't have enough allowance saved up to go by shuttle and I can't stand the thought of beaming there. I hadn't ever beamed anywhere before and I think there's just something wrong about having all your atoms taken apart and put back together. They say it's safe and maybe it ain't logical to think so, but I have this idea that you'd come out like scrambled eggs. Anyway, I don't have money saved up for that, either.

I got a letter from Savas today. He's really kicking my butt at chess, but he always says I'm doing "admirably." I don't know what he's talking about since I lose every game.

I looked in my school library to see if there were books on Vulcans and there weren't many. I found a storybook about the first contact, but nothing about logic. I'm going to look in the public library next.

\---

Personal Log  
August 8, 2259:

Mama had a fight with Peter and she yelled. I tried to be all logical about it, but I didn't know how and I just cried like a big dumb baby. They were fightin' about me and that made it worse 'cause I really try to be good. Sometimes I just lose all control of my emotions and I don't want to, but I do. I didn't even eat any dinner.

\---

Personal Log  
August 9, 2259:

Why does Luanne always have to be so mean to me? I put a bug on her at recess and she freaked out. It was real funny, but I got in trouble _again_. I got a letter from Uncle Jim today. He says they fought some Klingons and they got an ambassador aboard and that he was real impressed with how they blew up the other ship. He also said he hasn't had any luck with Daddy. There's a word for what he is, per-something, but it means he doesn't give up. I can't think of the word. Anyhow, I'm glad he quit giving me details 'cause I don't want to hear about kissing - especially if it's my Daddy. Ew. I'm gonna write him about putting a bug on Luanne's stupid pink dress. I saw a picture of intestines in one of Daddy's books and her dress was the color of a stomach. I told her, too.

\---

Personal Log  
August 10, 2259:

Today is Saturday. I got a letter from Savas today and he asked if I've been meditating every day and come to think of it, I haven't been. He says I gotta do it every day for it to do right. I reckon it's like brushing your teeth. You don't brush your teeth every day and you get cavities.  
I checked out a book on "Elementary Logic" from the public library, but I can't make head nor tails of it.

\---

Personal Log  
August 11, 2259:

I had to go to church. I didn't want to go to church and wear a dumb dress and sit in the pews and be bored to tears for a solid hour, but stupid Peter said we should go 'cause it's good for the soul or some damn thing. I don't need to hear a hundred reasons a week why I'm goin' to hell and I don't wanna sing them dumb boring hymns either. Hallelujah oughta sound like you're happy, but the way they sing it sounds like "are we there yet?" and I don't understand how that's supposed to be good for the soul. It ain't that I don't believe in God, I just don't like going to church.

I got a letter from Uncle Jim and he said he'd have liked to see Luanne's face when I put that bug on her. He also said that if I'm mean to her I might turn into somebody just like her and that being nice might confuse the hell out of her. Well, tomorrow's a new week, so I'm gonna see if I can't meditate every day like Savas said and be nice to Luanne like Uncle Jim said. Here's hoping.

\---

Personal Log  
August 12, 2259:

This mornin', I held the door for Luanne as we came into class and I said, "Good mornin', Luanne, I hope you had a nice weekend" real nice to her like I was glad to see her and she made the funniest face! She told me at recess that she thinks I'm planning something and I just grinned and said that I didn't know what she was talkin' about. I ain't plannin' nothing, but it shore is fun watchin' her squirm. Mr. Phillips says I'm turning over a new leaf.


	16. Personal Journal Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She may not know it, but Jo helps Savas be more logical and find peace.

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Monday 5 August 2259

I do not understand Federation Standard measurements of time. It is my understanding that this is the traditional calendar used by people on Earth for hundreds of years, but it is inconsistent and illogical. Nevertheless, it is the system which Jo is more accustomed to and so I am attempting to learn it by using it.

By and large, my day has proceeded as expected and my studies continue to progress at a normal rate in spite of the hiatus. These new learning pods are not unlike those on Vulcan and a return to a normal routine was most welcomed.

I continue to feel disconnected and it is particularly acute when leaving the learning pods. Mother used to wait for me and we would walk together to our home. Now she is gone, her katra lost completely along with Father's. I am grateful, of course, that I still live, but this continued feeling of disjointedness is... unsettling. The first day we resumed classes, I am ashamed to say that I wept. I know now why those of my generation were spared the Kahs-wan. The loss of Vulcan is a sufficient test of one's ability to use logic during hardship, but I am thus far failing this test. I do not wish for my guardians to be disappointed, but I cannot see the most logical way to proceed.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Tuesday 6 August 2259

My guardians introduced me to another girl with whom I am meant to bond. She is undoubtedly intelligent, logical, and outwardly suitable as a mate, but she is not for me. We conversed, played chess, and ate together and she was most pleasant, but when I looked into her thoughts, there was only detachment and she was entirely uninteresting. Likewise, I am certain she found me too emotional and I felt a small thread of disgust from her. I still struggle with the loss of my parents and while the other children seem to be adjusting to the difficulty, I am somehow deficient in this respect.

I am to send a letter to Jo this evening and I have not yet decided whether to tell her that I glimpsed her thoughts when she touched my ears at the Academy. It could not be helped and was purely accidental, but I often return to the memory during my meditation. She was fascinated with me and expressed such vast curiosity. I only regret I was unable to look into her mind more deeply and with her consent. Her chess strategy is somewhat reckless, but considering that this is the fourth game she has ever played, I am impressed with the way in which she is beginning to understand rudimentary tactics. She would most certainly excel in a more challenging environment. Sometimes I entertain the idea that perhaps she could live here on New Vulcan, but it would be illogical to separate her from her mother, in spite of the fact that her pursuit of logic would be facilitated if she were here.

Miss Campbell seems a most illogical individual and I am certain that the conflict between her and Jo is detrimental to Jo's pursuit of the Vulcan way. I am curious as to whether Jo has been able to meditate regularly. Her continued difficulty with Miss Campbell would, I think, be somewhat alleviated if she were able to do so. I shall tell her.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Wednesday 7 August, 2259

I am finishing the fourth chapter of the Major Tom book and it seems as though the actions of the main character are increasingly absurd as the series progresses. I am unfamiliar with what is considered normal behavior by dogs, but it is curious that Rubix is the most intelligent of the characters.

I requested macaroni and cheese for our evening meal, but my request was denied yet again. The energy usage required to create it is no greater than that required to supplement our usual meal and I can see no logical reason for my guardians to continue to refuse me this one small thing.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Thursday 8 August, 2259

I have finally found time to resume my research of Earth cultures and I find that there is an abundance of information and that it is nearly impossible to simply study "Earth Culture" or generalize Terrans except in that they are all the same species. Marriage and courtship customs alone would take years to study. Marriages are arranged in some very rural parts of Pakistan, Iran, India, Japan, and North and South America, but the practice itself is not consistent. The marriage ritual is also greatly varied, even between people distant by only a few hundred kilometers. I am continually fascinated by the variation in language and custom, but I must narrow my search further in order to gain a thorough understanding of Terrans. I have searched the databanks on the emotion of love so as to better advise Jo regarding the relationship between her father and Captain Kirk, but there is too much information to filter through and much of it is conflicting and confusing. I have concluded that love is decidedly illogical.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Friday 9 August, 2259

My meditation was peaceful today. Often I feel deficient in my ability to control my emotions, but today passed without incident. I have been considering Jo's theory regarding the law of conservation of energy as applied to the katra and it is logical to assume that even the energy of the mind is conserved somehow. She is most wise for a human. We are taught that humans are emotional and illogical, but somehow Jo is both emotional and logical. I do not understand how this is possible.

I have been focused on my studies and on my research, having decided to explore the history and culture of Georgia. This is a relatively small region and is therefore a logical starting point for a more thorough study of Terrans. I believe that by beginning with the geographical area with which Jo is most familiar, I will have much to write about when next I send her a transmission.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Saturday 10 August, 2259

I have recently learned of the poetry form of haiku:

Eyes a deep blood green  
Terran girl who meditates  
She is determined.

I do not think it is very good.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: Sunday 11 August, 2259

I find the American Revolutionary War uninteresting, but the American Civil War is most fascinating. Perhaps the members of the Confederate States were much like Vulcans before the Time of Awakening. It would be interesting to see Earth's Abraham Lincoln and Surak of Vulcan interact, but I believe they would disagree as to the proper course of action in a conflict. This is speculation, of course, and borders upon the absurd, but a comparison between the two figures would be most interesting. I shall discuss this with Jo. Perhaps she can offer insight regarding these similarities and differences between Vulcan and Terran philosophy.


	17. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo and Savas discuss the War of Northern Agression, syllogism, the purpose of church, philosophy of Surak, spaghetti, mac & cheese, hugging, and how gross kissing is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to arcane_lark's Snickerdoodles and Sonnets, or Adventures in Vulcan Babysitting (geez, I hope you don't mind!)
> 
> Recommended viewing: TOS:Space Seed.

Dear Savas,

My understanding is that it was about state's rights more'n anything. Gramma says that my Great-great Grandaddy Meredeth McCoy was in the Georgia Cavalry under Beauregard and that it was the first time Atlanta burned to the ground. I don't know about it much except that. I reckon Lincoln was right and nobody should be property - I can't imagine! How can you own a person? But I don't know anything about Surak and I can't find anything in my library at school. I checked out a book on Elementary Logic, but I can't make anything of it. What the heck does "Categorical Syllogism" mean anyway? I looked it up, but still don't understand it.

How come Major Tom has to fight the Lizard Men, anyway? I looked for it and he doesn't try and negotiate even once. What if they're like the Gorn that Uncle Jim fought? They could just be people like you and me.

I'm feelin' much better now that I can sit in my tree after school. She doesn't understand it, but Mama gives me a few minutes anyway and always has an after school snack for me when I'm done. I still miss Daddy, though, and sometimes I get real mad about it. I know Daddy didn't leave 'cause of me, but sometimes... I don't know, I just hate it that he ain't here. Daddy never made me go to church like Peter does.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

Qd1-e2

\---

Dear Jo,

When one draws a conclusion from two premises, one major and one minor, that is referred to as syllogism. For example:

Premise 1: Humans are emotional  
Premise 2: Emotions are illogical  
Conclusion: Humans are illogical

This is logical, but not accurate, and we are warned against its use. In the last chapter that we read, Major Tom uses this form of reasoning to assess the motives of the Lizard Men:

 _"I've got to work this out!" cried Major Tom, "Why would the Lizard Men want to lure Betty here?"_

 _"Ruff!" barked Rubix._

 _"That can't be it. They've shown no evidence of compassion, let alone love! Besides, what does tying me up over a boiling lava pit have to do with love?" Major Tom put his thinking face on as he hung over the pit of boiling lava, his toes now very hot inside his boots._

 _"Aroo?" Rubix cocked his head to one side, confused._

 _"No, I don't think it's a clever plot to lure Betty here so that she can rescue me. Instead..." Major Tom searched his brain for the answer, "Lizard Men are from the Tors System, which is... the territory of the White Duke! He's out of control, Rubix!"_

 _"Arf!" Rubix agreed._

 _"Therefore, he's using them to get rid of me so that he can proceed with his evil plans to take over Earth!" Major Tom wiggled his toes because they were now becoming very warm, indeed. "It's a good thing I took those classes on Vulcan Logic in the Academy!"_

Premise 1: Lizard Men are from the Tors System  
Premise 2: The White Duke controls the Tors System  
Conclusion: The Lizard Men are working for the White Duke.

Aside from the multitude of other inconsistencies, Major Tom's information is incomplete and since the Lizard Men were an as-yet undiscovered species as stated in chapter two, it is possible that the White Duke is unaware of their existence. I concur with you in that he has made no attempt to negotiate and that this is perhaps related to his predicament.

Do many humans attend a church? What is the purpose of a church?

Our planet was engaged in a civil war, much like that of your history, and Surak taught Vulcans the way of logic and peace. Without his teachings, we would have certainly destroyed ourselves. He taught us that we are divided in two, the body and the katra and then in two again as emotional beings and as logical beings. When we choose logic, we are able to see things as they are and with our minds unclouded by emotion. I have found in my own experience that the practice of choosing logic is more difficult than the understanding of logic itself.

I miss the conversations I once had with my parents. Father often told stories of the Enlightenment and mother and I played chess. I do not connect with my guardians in the same way, but today Sovess suggested that we attend a performance of "The Fall of Zakal." I am uninterested in this performance and would rather watch something from Earth. Can you suggest something representative of your culture? What do you miss of your father? I am curious to know if it is similar to my own experience. Attempt #38 at obtaining macaroni and cheese was unsuccessful. I am responsible for preparing our evening meal tomorrow and hope that attempt #39 is successful.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Bg2xh1

\---

Dear Savas,

Mama watches "Guiding Light," but it's a dumb show and I don't care for soap operas. Peter watches the news feeds. I don't mind watching the news too much 'cause sometimes Uncle Jim's on it, but he always tells me stuff before it gets on the news. Like yesterday, they found a whole ship full of people from the 20th century. Daddy said they were from the Eugenics Wars, so they let 'em sleep 'til they got to a Starbase. Their leader woke up, though, and he wasn't very nice, so they put him in the brig. Uncle Jim was real mad, too, 'cause he was gonna try and take over the Enterprise. They didn't say that last part on the news. He had a funny name, but I don't remember it. Something Noonien. I remember "Noonien" 'cause it was so weird. I'm sure they'll have a news feed on it today.

I guess a lot of people go to church, but not everyone. Bill and Lenny in my class are Jewish, so they go to Temple, which I guess is like church. I know some kids don't have to go, but a lot do. We go to the Peach Tree First Methodist Church. My Sunday School teacher says it's God's house, but then she says that God is everywhere. If God is everywhere, why do I gotta go to church? I'm a kid, not a preacher, so I really don't know much about this stuff. It ain't too logically consistent and I can't figure it out anyway. I tried to read the Bible, but I got bored with all the begats. Daddy's medical books are more inner- innerst- int-er-es-ting- anyway, and I like looking at all the pictures of guts and stuff. I don't have any books on Vulcans, though. That'd be neat to see.

What's "The Fall of Zakal" about? You could watch it with your guardians and then tell me about it. I can't think of anything representative of our culture, so I'll ask Uncle Jim and see if he's got any ideas. Sometimes he has to do diplomatic stuff, so I figure he'd know how to represent Earth properly.

The worst part of it is that I don't remember the last time I gave Daddy a hug and a kiss. I'm glad I get to send him letters now, but it just ain't the same.

You took my rook! Good luck with attempt #39! I'm gonna ask Mama if we can have mac & cheese tonight so, hopefully, we'll be having it together just in different houses. I had cheerios for breakfast this morning and thought of you.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

Qe2-b5 Check!

\---

Dear Jo,

Fascinating. Your father's missions are far more interesting than Major Tom's, in spite of the fact that Major Tom is still suspended over the lava pit.

Has the Captain made any progress? I have made a list of things he can try based on my research of human courtship. I eliminated shopping due to the lack of a venue to do so on a starship and I have eliminated movies, dinner, and picnics because those have already been tried. Flowers, songs, gifts, and dancing remain. Also, I have recently learned the poetry form of haiku. I am told that humans often write poems about love. Vulcan poetry is quite different, of course. My attempts at the form have been... unsatisfactory, but perhaps the Captain could write something to express his devotion?

Earth religions would be interesting to study, but I think that much of it is beyond my understanding as well. I do not own any texts on Vulcan physiology, but I will make an attempt to find something. I would have greater success if you read the Vulcan language, but perhaps I can find something in Federation English.

I have observed hugging and do not think so much contact would be comfortable for me. I am uncertain about kissing as well. Mother used to touch her fingers to my cheek and our minds also touched very briefly. Perhaps that is analagous to your hugging and kissing. You do not make the telepathic connection, so it is possible that more physical touch is required. If so, this is not dissimilar from my experience. I think I may understand. The last time I touched minds with someone, it was with T'Ala, the second girl my guardians wished for me to bond with. We both found it unpleasant.

"The Fall of Zakal" refers to a Vulcan who opposed Surak's attempts at peace and led a great number away from Vulcan. It is unknown what became of his followers, but it is considered to be a great tragedy of the Enlightenment.

Attempt #39 was successful, though T'Lia insisted that we also have some sort of vegetable. I made something like a salad. Perhaps we can coordinate our efforts again, if not for macaroni and cheese, then perhaps for another meal?

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Nb8-d7

\---

Dear Savas,

We have spaghetti every Sunday. Maybe one of these days, you can come to my house for mac and cheese or spaghetti or something. I bet Mama would make you whatever you wanted. I already suggested dancing to Uncle Jim, but I ain't heard anything.

Except for maybe a kiss on the cheek from Mama or Daddy, kissing is kinda gross. Even then, it's embarassing. I had a thought, though. If you touched minds with your parents, that would explain partly how they know you better. If it wasn't too weird, you could do it with your guardians and they they might understand your preferences a little better. It's just a thought. I hope it's not dumb. I don't know if it would be too weird for you or not, so forget it if it's dumb.

Uncle Jim said that Shakespeare is the most representative of human culture. I never did get into it much because it's kinda hard to read. I can't read any Vulcan at all or even speak any. I know a little Spanish, but that's it. Maybe you can give me Vulcan lessons. I'll have to wait 'til the summer, though. Between writin' letters and homework, I ain't got time for much else.

I like salad alright.

You'll be glad to know that Luanne hasn't said anything too dumb this week except that she said I dress like a boy, which is so dumb that I didn't even answer.

I've got a ton of math homework today. It's easy stuff, but there's a lot of it.

Ll&P  
-Jo

Nb1-c3

\---

Dear Jo,

I hadn't thought of touching minds with my guardians. I will take this into consideration. I know they care for me, but it is not the same.

I could find nothing suitable to send you regarding Vulcan Physiology, but perhaps your library utilizes a form of interlibrary loan program so that you may obtain books from other sources.

I am having very strange dreams. For example: Last night I dreamt that I was eating cookies. They had a most unusual name, though I cannot recall what it was. I only remember that it seemed an illogical name. There was macaroni and cheese and then hugging. I had been reading Shakespeare's sonnets before I went to sleep and in my dream, someone recited one of them to me. I have not yet studied this poetry form, but it seems very challenging. I shall try my hand at it, but considering my previous attempts at poetry, I do not expect good results. The hugging in my dream was... disconcerting. My dream self seemed to enjoy it. I have told no one of this.

For reasons I have yet to discern, my guardians continue to insist on Vulcan food for the majority of our meals. I shall persevere.

I suspect that resuming your meditations has been helpful in seeing Miss Campbell's insults as illogical and therefore unworthy of response. Your determination is admirable.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Qd8-b8

\---

Dear Savas,

EW! EW! EW! EW! GROSS! I'm so sorry for the emotions, but I gotta tell somebody. I can't talk to Mama about it and I don't want anybody else to know because it ain't any of their business. Daddy and Uncle Jim kissed each other. That's _so_ gross! I just read Uncle Jim's letter - why does he have to tell me about kissing?! EW! I don't want to think about my daddy kissing anybody. YUCK!

Since you want to know for your research and stuff, Uncle Jim says they kissed during Spaghetti Western night. Daddy likes westerns and he used to ride horses a lot, but they all got sold or live at Gramma's and now stupid Peter's bitey horses live in the barn. I told you about them. I renamed them Bitey, Stinky, and Fleabitten. I hate them stupid horses. Bitey (his real name is Mr. Cloppy, which is a dumb name for a horse) bit my hand yesterday when I was tryin' to be nice! It hurt, too. I found Daddy's dermal regenerator and used it on myself, but Mama took me to Dr. Sanders anyway. I got a popsicle, but my hand still hurts.

I'm gonna need me a good long meditation today.

I thought on your dreams some, and I figure it's like this. You're crazy about mac & cheese, so that explains that part. You were reading before bed, so some of it got in your brain and then came right out again in your dream. If you knew which poem it was, that might mean something, but I really don't know. It might not. The hugging means that you gotta make connections with somebody. You said yourself you felt disconnected. You just need somebody to give you something like a telepathic hug. It's a metaphor. I ain't figured out part about the cookies yet.

Interlibrary loan is the best! Miss Teague only let me check out ten books at a time, though. Thanks!

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

d2-d3


	18. Hey, kiddo!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kissing is still gross, but Sun Tzu's The Art of War is a very useful book.

Hey, Kiddo!

Spaghetti Western night was definitely the way to go. I write reports, your dad works on his stuff, and then we eat spaghetti and watch really old westerns. He says he'd rather be out riding horses than up in a starship, so I said, "Where's your sense of adventure, Bones?" and he said, "Jocelyn got it in the divorce." and I said that I'd share mine with him and you know what he did? You're not going to believe this:

He laughed.

Out loud.

For an entire minute.

So, attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected - I highly recommend _The Art of War_ for dating, by the way (when you're 35 - I don't want to hear of it before then). It might help you with Luanne as well, come to think of it. Anyway, your dad was just laughing and laughing so I planted a big smoocher right on the lips! I thought for sure he was going to punch me in the head or hypospray me or something, but he didn't.

Captain Awesome: 3  
Unwinnable Situations: Zilch

I think kissing makes it official. You wanted me to keep you posted, Queen Jo, so there's my report. As requested, I left out the gross parts.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

I told you not to write me about any kissing! Also, you're not 35 and you've done a lot of dating. You said so yourself.

What movie did you watch?

Miss Teague let me check out ten books from different libraries on loan. She loaded them onto my school notebook for me. I got four different books on Vulcan physiology, one on communicable diseases, two books on logic, a book on chess, and one with poems.

Savas and I decided you should try poems and dancing. He said flowers, but that's too girly. Just don't tell me about any kissing, okay? I'm glad you could make Daddy laugh anyway.

The other day, Luanne said I dressed like a boy, but that's so dumb I didn't even answer her. I don't know if I ought to read about war, though, Uncle Jim. I'm researching about logic because I want peace and if I start making war on Luanne, I'm gonna be in so much trouble.

I told Savas about Shakespeare like you said, but I never could get into it. It's kinda hard to read.

I heard about the Botany Bay on the news feed. They used a picture of you where you're making a face like you're mad. I'm glad that Singh person didn't cause you too much trouble, though. I heard he was real bad. Where are you going after Starbase 12? I hope it's nowhere too dangerous.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

What's up, Joanna-banana?

 _To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting_.

That's from _The Art of War_. Sometimes you have to fight, even if you don't want to. On the Enterprise, we fight to protect others and to defend ourselves, not because we want to, but because we need to. It's only logical to know how to fight when you do have to. I know you want to be a doctor like your ol' dad, but even he has to fight sometimes. Everybody has to fight for something. And it's not always a fight with fists, phasers, or torpedoes, either. Mr. Sulu uses a sword sometimes! HA-HA! I'm kidding, of course... mostly. He really does have a whole collection of swords and old weapons, but you'll have to fight with words and wits more often than weapons. The same strategies apply to that kind of fight. This is my very serious face, Jo, so you know I mean business. 

:|

See? Very serious.

You should never read Shakespeare. Shakespeare should be watched. We watched _Gunfight at the O.K. Corral_ , which is not as good as Shakespeare, but it was fun to watch. My favorite plays are Julius Caesar, Henry V, Richard II, Othello, and Comedy of Errors. I once saw a juggling troupe perform Comedy of Errors and it was the best thing since space travel.

Flowers _are_ too girly. I'm just not seeing me giving your dad flowers. Poetry and dancing are within the realm of possibility, however. He'll never see it coming.

I can't tell you what my orders are just yet. Some things I have to keep secret so that enemies of the Federation don't find out, but I'll tell you all about it when I can.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
19.8.2259 09:22FST

Roses are red,  
Andorians are blue,  
I'd like to have  
some dinner with you.

Peonies are pink  
Orions are green  
You've got the best lips  
That I've ever seen  
-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
19.8.2259 09:57FST

You're incorrigible.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
19.8.2259 10:15FST

You mean "encouragable." Now get back to work! I'm trying to run a ship here!  
-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
19.8.2259 10:37FST

Infant. See you after shift, kid.  
-B

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Well alright, I'll give it a look, but I don't want to do anything that's going to get me into trouble. I knew Mr. Sulu had a sword. I've been collecting all the news and pictures and stuff about the Enterprise. He used it to kill them damn Romulans. I also know that you're from Iowa and Mr. Scott lost Admiral Archer's dog.

Okay, I understand that you can't tell me everything. I'll just try and be patient as best as I can. I've been meditating every day after school, so I'm getting real good at being patient. Yesterday, I did it for almost fifteen minutes without looking at the time.

Do you reckon that book would be good for dealing with my counselor? Mama switched my day to see her because of school, so I don't see her 'til next Tuesday afternoon.

Mama must have left Daddy's sense of adventure with me because I'd rather be on a starship than stuck here in Peach Tree. (I just thought of that. Pretty funny, ain't it? You can tell it to Daddy if you want.)

I finally scanned my picture. I got so busy, I forgot to. Mr. Phillips crossed out the first grade because he thought I was just being girly for making all the plants purple, but then I showed him the picture of Mr. Chekov and Mr. Sulu, so then he put a hundred on it. He said I was the only one who drew a non-Earth biome.

I've got English homework tonight. I have to write ten sentences by hand. I hate writing by hand. It's dumb.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

To: Her Majesty, Queen Jo of the McCoy System a.k.a. Mini-Bones  
From: Captain Awesome

Well, alright, smartypants. I bet you didn't know that Mr. Chekov secretly always wanted a little brother or that Uhura's favorite song is "Beyond Antares." HA!

Your dad and I had a great time yesterday. Dancing with your dad was... a little different than what I'm used to. It took us a minute to figure out who leads. Your dad's a better dancer and a little taller than I am, but I'm the Captain. I think it's obvious who won that little discussion. He thought your joke was very funny, by the way.

See? No kissing this time, only dancing. I also wrote a poem. I'm pretty sure he liked it. I'm considering publishing an anthology full of them entitled "Love and Ice Cream on the Starship Enterprise." How's this one?

Nebula, nebula, made of gas  
How I'd like to--

On second thought, maybe I should stick to captaining a starship.

Yes. The Art of War would _definitely_ be useful in dealing with counselors. Here's one of my favorites:

 _If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles._

How's that?

Let me know how Savas likes Shakespeare. Two credits he says "Fascinating."

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Pay up. He said he found it "intriguing." He watched Hamlet.

I'm still reading my book on diseases - Did you know that Andorian shingles makes your eyes bleed? And Kmaraazite flu makes you sneeze so hard that your brains come out. It also says that part might be apocryphal. That means doubtful. I don't really think you could sneeze so hard your brains come out. It ain't logical.

I only know what I hear on the news feeds and what you and Daddy tell me - which is next to nothing, by the way.

I bet Daddy won. Gramma says McCoys are stubborn. She says Grampa was stubborn to the end and Daddy's stubborn like Grampa and that I'm just like Daddy.

Peter's stupid horse bit my hand. I fixed it myself, but it hurt. I was trying to be nice to the damn thing and it bit me. I renamed all his horses because they have stupid names to start with. The one that bit me is Mr. Cloppy - which is a dumb name for a horse, so I call him Bitey. There's also Stinky and Fleabitten.

Uncle Jim? Did you ever get mad at your mama for being away from Earth?

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Hey, kiddo,

Dang. I'll pay you when I get back to Earth. Promise.

And your dad did not win, by the way. We decided that sometimes he leads and sometimes I lead. I thought that was very fair of me to let him lead half the time. I still win.

Your dad once gave me the vaccine for Melvaran mudfleas - the itching, the swollen hands... When you do become the genius doc of all space and time, make sure to check your patient's list of allergies _before_ injecting them with weird stuff. To be fair to your dad, there were extenuating circumstances, but still. Numb tongue is on my list of top 100 uncomfortable and inconvenient things to experience. Try to say "Romulan" when your tongue is twice its normal size.

Bitey sounds way better than Mr. Cloppy - who names a horse Mr. Cloppy anyway? If I had a horse, I'd name it something like Tango or Antonia. It would depend on the horse, I suppose. Heck, Moonbeam and Sunshine are better names than Mr. Cloppy! I used to ride horses on my uncle's farm in Iowa, believe it or not. Some days I really miss it, but I can't really keep a horse on a starship.

When I was your age, people used to say "When I was your age" and "I know what you're going through" a lot. Which stinks because, no, they did _not_ know what I was going through. So, I'm going to try not to give you any of those BS answers. I can't promise anything except that I'll try, okay?

Yeah, I got mad at mom for being off-planet so much. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have, got into a lot of fights, and pretty much ended up being in trouble more than out. I still love my mom, though, and your dad loves you. Yeah, I'm on to you, kiddo.

We've been re-routed to investigate the possibility of a synthetic food. I'll get to see an old friend of mine and I look forward to it. I'll tell you more when the mission is over.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Mom,

How's the nebula survey going? I heard Sam didn't get the Earth Colony 2 job, but I'm sure he'll find something. He tells me there's an opening on Deneva, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him.

Anyway, I'm headed for Planet Q. Remember Tommy Leighton? He's doing well for himself. It's _Dr._ Leighton now and he says he's got something that could help Cygnia Minor. Spock called him "occasionally brilliant." That's high praise coming from him. Same story as before - crops failed, people dying. I can't pass this up. I have to help them any way I can.

I love you, Mom.

-Jim


	19. Dear Uncle Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cadet Jo is properly outfitted, ghosts of the past haunt the Enterprise, Jo considers her potential career paths, Vulcans can be good friends, and Jim Kirk is... Jim Kirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my sister for providing the French translation and thanks to kadollan for the beta.
> 
> Mentions the events of Tarsus IV

Dear Uncle Chris,

School is fine. Stupid Luanne Campbell is in my class, though, and she always says the dumbest things. Uncle Jim did just fine in his interview and thanks for helping me with the questions. I think it was a great idea to ask about why he likes daddy. He explained the chain of command to me and I acted like I didn't already know 'cause you already explained it to me, but does Admiral Archer's dog really outrank him? I let him sweat it out some before I said it was okay. He and Daddy kissed, so I reckon it's official.

I'm still talking to Savas. We're playing chess and I keep losing, but I'm gonna win one of these days!

I'm reading a book on diseases. There's a whole chapter on parasites that eat you from the inside out.

I was eating my cheerios and saw they had a Starfleet athletic department shirt you could send in for, but you could tell it was fake. Do you reckon you could get me a real one? I've got almost 20 credits saved up from doing chores and I can pay for it myself.

Tell Aunt Vina I said "Bonjour." That's French for "Hi," right?

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Cadet Jo,

You are correct. The Admiral definitely loves that dog more than Captain Kirk. In fact, that dog probably outranks me, as far as he's concerned. Maybe next time you're in San Francisco, I'll introduce you to both of them. I assume you'll be returning next summer. Vina and I look forward to having you again and I think she's got a menu half-planned already. She asks me every night, "Penses-tu qu'elle va aimer ça?" which means, "Do you think she will like this?" In fact, right now, she's asking me how you feel about ratatouille.

Regulations state that all cadets must be properly outfitted, so I'm sending you a shirt from the athletic department - no charge. Am I to assume you will one day be enrolling in Starfleet medical? Command track suits you as well. You remind me of a certain Enterprise Captain.

I've been looking into Vulcan language programs, but I regret to say that our best instructor is also aboard the Enterprise. There's a six-month immersion course on Cerberus, but you'd have to speak with your mother. It's a good program and came highly recommended by our mutual friend, Ambassador T'Pau. I will send your mother the information.

Good luck with your chess game. I am glad you are still communicating with Savas. Either you will be a very good influence on him or a very bad one, but my money's on the former. We look forward to his visits as well.

-Uncle Chris

\---

[Official transmission: Starfleet Command]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Jim,

Your request to re-route to Planet Q has been authorized, but I expect you're already halfway there by now. I hope Dr. Leighton can deliver what he's promising. If not, you're to deliver aid directly to Cygnia Minor.

Be safe out there,  
-Pike

[End Transmission]

\---

[Official transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral,

Transmission acknowledged. En route to Planet Q.

-Kirk

[End Transmission]

\---

Mom,

I think I found the bastard. Tommy's dead. Remember the little Irish boy? Kevin? I should have known. I should have made the connection, but I didn't. You weren't there. You didn't hear him crying for his parents as Kodos watched them die. Turns out he's one of my Lieutenants, a good officer, and now he's in sickbay and might not make it. Bones has promised to do everything he can and if anyone can save him, he can. I can't tell you how many times he's brought my ass out of the fire. Anyway, I'm being careful. I want to make sure it's him before I do anything. Maybe the dead can rest a little easier when I know.

Love,  
-Jim

\---

Jim,

Sweetheart, Kodos is dead. That's all there is to it. I was hoping we could put that terrible chapter of our lives behind us and I'm sorry about your Lieutenant, but whoever you think this person is, he's not Kodos. I know it was hard on you, being so young, but we only wanted a more stable life for you. There was no way we could have known. Be careful. Even if it is Kodos, show compassion where he did not. Killing him won't bring Frank or any of the others back.

Bones is a good man, surely he can talk some sense into you. Of all the people for you to have as a best friend, I'm glad you two have each other. You always tell me how cautious he is and that's a good balance for you. Listen to him and listen to that Vulcan first officer of yours. I can't protect you, but maybe the two of them can. Maybe they can help you see reason.

I talked to Sam. He and Aurelan and the kids are doing well. He tells me there's an opening on Deneva for a research biologist. I hope he gets the job. It's beautiful there and a nice place for the kids to grow up. I've got my fingers crossed for them.

I worry about you out there in space. Be careful, Jim.

Love,  
-Mom

\---

[Official transmission: Starfleet Command]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Jim,

Request to divert to Benecia Colony denied. Proceed directly to Cygnia Minor as ordered.

My ass is on the line here, Jim. How the hell am I supposed to explain this to Starfleet Command? Are you aware of the severity of the accusation you're making? This is not the first time I've defended your actions and, frankly, your loose association with the chain of command is beginning to wear thin. Do not make me regret my recommendation regarding your promotion to Captain.

-Admiral Pike

[End Transmission]

\---

[Official transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral,

With all due respect, _sir_ , I do understand the implications. We will only be delayed by two days and the provisions on Cygnia Minor will hold out at least that long. You said yourself that Starfleet needs someone like me and that's what you've got. Dr. Leighton is dead. Lieutenant Riley and I are the only surviving eyewitnesses and the Lieutenant is in critical condition. You will have my full report in two days.

-Kirk

[End Transmission]

\---  
  
Hey, Kiddo!

I saw a play with your dad a few days ago- Macbeth. You would have liked the part with the three witches, I think. We had a touring company aboard and got a chance to see Macbeth and Hamlet. The man that played Macbeth and the ghost of Hamlet's father was a very good actor and it was probably also the best Ophelia I've seen in a long time. This production was definitely "intriguing."

We just got finished delivering humanitarian aid to Cygnia Minor. The best part of this job is when we can really help people in need. There was a major food shortage, so we sent provisions and a medical team to help. Your dad is doing a brilliant job of things, of course. He's helping people, saving lives, all that jazz. When I said he's the best doctor in the fleet, I meant it. So, whatever you hear about your crazy Uncle Jim, know that he's got the best doctor in the known universe keeping him sane. Between him and Spock, it's a wonder I get anything done!

Make sure you're getting enough protein, okay? I know you're doing the no meat thing, so that's something you need to watch out for. I'm sure your dad probably already told you and I know you've done your research. I just want to make sure you grow up big and strong so that you can take over the universe with your awesomeness.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Daddy,

Uncle Jim says you're doing a humanitarian aid mission. I looked up starvation in one of my books on diseases and even though it's not a... what's the word for it patha-something? I forget. It means like a germ or something. Anyway, even though it's not a germ, there's lots of information on it. It's pretty awful, Daddy, so I'm glad you could help those people. There's psychological effects that go along with malnutrition, so make sure you look into that too. Maybe I ought to do some psychology, too. I read that this one time a man killed half a colony because there wasn't enough food. I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, you don't want people to starve to death, but on the other hand you don't just kill people. I'd have to ask Savas what the most logical thing to do is. It sure helps having a friend that's a Vulcan.

Like the other day, Luanne was being dumb like she usually is and I've been trying to be nice to her, but for some reason she thinks me being nice to her is mean - which I don't get, by the way. Well, anyhow, I didn't punch her in the face like I wanted to, but I asked Savas what to do and he said that not only was she being illogical but that if I kept on being nice to her, there's no way I'd get in trouble! And that's what happened. She hit me right in front of Mr. Phillips - which is dumb, by the way. If you're going to hit somebody, you don't do it _right in front of the teacher!_ Well, anyway, I concentrated real hard and instead of punching her, I told her that it was illogical and then Mr. Phillips took away her recess privileges for a whole week!

One of these days I'm going to be a doctor like you, but now I don't know if I want to do psychology or diseases. I think diseases are much more interesting. What do you think, Daddy?

Love,  
-Jo

P.S. I hope Uncle Jim is being a good boyfriend. Please don't tell me about any kissing or anything, but if he messes up, I'll give him what-for!

\---

Dear Jo,

I prefer surgery to pathology and psychology, but you'll do great at whatever put your mind to. Don't worry, we're doing a psychological evaluation of each patient as we see them. Each one handles trauma differently and it's helpful to know a little bit of psychology, even if that's not your primary field of study. You don't just treat a disease, you treat a whole person. People trust their doctor in a way they don't trust anyone else.

I'm glad you have Savas as a friend. I'm getting used to Mr. Spock and we don't always agree, but he's a fine officer. Sometimes I think they try too hard, but when it really comes down to it, they work remarkably well together.

You'll be pleased to know that your Uncle Jim is being a perfect gentleman. We saw Macbeth together and he didn't once fall asleep. In fact, I daresay we had a good time. He's not a bad dancer, either, so I let him lead half the time.

I'm sorry this is such a short note, but I've got a lot of people to take care of. I love you, babydoll. You keep out of trouble and make sure you eat right.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Uncle Chris,

I got my shirt today! It's just perfect and is way better than the dumb fake one on the back of the cheerios box. I heard the Enterprise is on a humanitarian mission and that Daddy is helping people with malnutrition and psychological effects. I finished my book on diseases and I don't get the ones that are about logic, so I'll just ask Savas for help with it. He explains it better than the books can anyway. The ones on Vulcan physiology all say the same stuff and it ain't much to be honest. I don't get half of what those say, either, but I've decided to figure them out. I already finished the one on Chess and the one with poems in it, so I reckon I'll read _The Art of War_ next. Uncle Jim said that I'd like it and I might just, so I'll give it a try. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to make war on anybody, not even Luanne. 

Of course I'm coming to your house this summer! How else am I going to see Savas? I think he might just be my best friend. Do you think I could just skip the dumb parts and hang out with Savas instead?

Tell Aunt Vina that I don't even know what ratatouille is, but I'd be willing to try anything she makes. Ask her if we're having cake for breakfast next time. Mama never lets me have cake for breakfast.

Love,  
-Jo


	20. Dear Mrs. McCoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo is a 'special child' who needs 'extra attention.' Also, grownups are illogical.

Dear Mrs. McCoy,

Thank you for your interest in the Cerberus Language Immersion Program at Cerberus College. We offer a variety of language programs, including English, Vulcan, Andorian, Tellarite, and Spanish and wherever possible, we have employed native speakers in order to give your child the ultimate language experience. In addition, your child will also learn about the culture and customs of the society they wish to study under the constant supervision of our highly trained instructors. Our graduates have gone on to become UFP representatives, translators, and even ambassadors! Universal translators are flawed and do not always accurately convey nuances of meaning. Why rely on imperfect technology that can break? Instead, learn the language, know the people.

We have enclosed a virtual tour of our campus, situated in the midst of the temperate zone of pastoral Cerberus II, a self-sufficient Federation colony, population approx. 10,000. Founded by noted philanthropist, Mr. Carter Winston in 2240, C.C. has offered excellence in linguistics for almost twenty years! Scholarships are available to qualified students on a first come, first serve basis. We hope you find the enclosed information informative and should you have any questions, please direct them to:

Admissions.CLIP@CC.cer.fed Frequency CCX-4523.9

Again, thank you,

-Michael A. Jamison  
 Director of Admissions, Cerberus College

\---

Dear Mrs. McCoy,

I'm enjoying having Joanna in my class. She's a very bright child, and tests extremely well. She chooses books to read that are way above her grade-level and can handle just about any math problem I give her. However, I'm concerned about the way in which she interacts with the other children. She seems socially stunted and a bit withdrawn, sometimes spending the entire recess period sitting by herself. I've spoken to Mary Cosgrove in the Special Development department and we want to do whatever we can to help Joanna reach her full potential, but I fear that Peach Tree Elementary is ill-equipped to handle a special girl like Joanna. I'd like to set up a meeting with you and Mr. McCoy so that we can discuss this at length.

Sincerely,  
-Mr. Lawrence A. Phillips  
5th Grade, Peach Tree Elementary

\---

Dear Mr. Phillips,

You must be new. First of all, Jo's father and I have been divorced for four years, you can look it up in her records, you stupid carpetbagger sonofabitch. And there is no "Mr. McCoy." Dr. McCoy up and joined Starfleet, damn him. Secondly, she doesn't need to be in S-D. She's not mentally deficient and if you'd open your damn eyes, you'd see she's probably smarter than you and Mary Goddamn Cosgrove put together. Thirdly, you'll find that what she's doing now is far better than getting into fights nearly every day.

Sincerely,  
-Ms. Jocelyn McCoy, but only because I haven't bothered to get the damned form signed

[Draft saved]  
[Send?] N  
[Compose New]

\---

Dear Mr. Phillips,

All the information you need should be stored in her student record, but I'll give you the Reader's Digest version as a courtesy. Jo's father and I have been divorced for four years and while he does have visitation rights, he's a Starfleet Officer and therefore off-planet most of the time, having been assigned to a five-year tour of duty. She's currently in counseling and if you would take a look at her records, you'll find that she's made quite a bit of progress in controlling her temper in the past few months. I feel that S-D is unnecessary and that she just needs a little time to adjust. I appreciate your concern, but Jo is perfectly capable of handling fifth grade.

Sincerely,

Ms. Jocelyn McCoy

[Send?] Y

\---

Dear Savas,

They're talkin' about me behind my back again, I can tell. I hate it when grownups talk behind my back. The other day, Luanne was teasing me about ever-damn little thing and it just built up in me so bad that I had to spend the whole entire recess meditating or else I was gonna lose all control of my emotions all over Luanne's dumb face. Then Mr. Phillips got this look on his face like I had some kind of psychological disorder or something. I finished my other books, so I think I'm going to read about psychology next, right after I finish _The Art of War_. I might just give the logic books another go, too. I think that maybe if you explain it to me, I can get it.

Well, anyway Mr. Phillips prolly thinks I'm crazy or somethin' 'cause he talked to Miss Mary in Special Development. That's where the kids with disabilities go. I used to think they were just dumb, but then I read a whole book on learning disorders. It was one of Daddy's and I read it because I thought maybe Luanne had one. I couldn't make a good diagnoses, though, 'cause how the hell am I gonna give a test to Luanne? Anyway, Miss Mary gave me the look. It's the same look my counselor used to give me before I decided to start doing things my way. It's the "you're special" and "ain't you precious" look. I hate that look. Now she just looks wore out all the time. She looks like Mama does when she don't get enough sleep - prolly got insomnia or somethin'.

Uncle Chris sent Mama some information on a language school where I could learn to speak Vulcan. I hope I get to go. It's six whole months away from Peach Tree and Luanne stinkin' Campbell and my stupid counselor and everything. I could actually get off of this stinkin' planet!

Live long and Prosper,  
-Jo

Qd1-a4

\---

Dear Jo,

I do not always understand the logic of adults, nor do I assume their actions _are_ logical. Perhaps they have information you do not, but... would it not be more logical to include you in conversations that involve your development? Is your instructor aware of your meditation habits? You are unusual among humans in that you choose to control your emotions in this way, a quality I find most admirable, but perhaps his ignorance is contributing to this difficulty.

I have been reading more about Georgia and am currently reviewing the climate and various types of habitat within this area. New Vulcan is very similar in temperature and humidity to that of Vulcan. You would find it quite dry, I think, given the humid subtropical nature of your home. The floral and faunal diversity of Georgia is quite high, as you are probably aware. Have you ever encountered _Colinus virginianus_? I believe it is also called a Northern bobwhite. I have read they have a most unusual call. I am fascinated with the diversity present in such a small area. Though I am more interested in the customs and culture of the people, the environment within which one lives is perhaps related to these customs. Is cold mint tea more often consumed in Georgia than in other places? I find its thermoregulatory properties quite satisfactory and think it would be useful in a subtropical environment.

English was very easy to learn, but I am told Vulcan is quite difficult. I am certain you will do well and I am willing, of course, to write to you either in Vulcan or in English, as is your preference.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Ng8-f6

\---

Dear Ms. McCoy,

Mr. Phillips and I spoke today and we feel that Joanna needs extra attention. She _has_ been withdrawn lately and I'm not sure that's better than the fighting. I observed her at recess last week and what Mr. Phillips says is true. She doesn't play with the other children and when she does interact with them, she almost immediately retreats again and goes to sit by herself. In fact, just the other day, one of her classmates hit her and she hardly reacted at all. That's not the Joanna I've known since Kindergarten. She's such a smart girl and I'd hate to bump her back down to fourth grade, but I'm concerned about her social development.

You can forgive Mr. Phillips for not knowing about you and Dr. McCoy. He moved here from Chicago right at the beginning of the school year and he's still settling in. We're having a little barbecue for him this weekend at the church. You're welcome to come - and bring Joanna, too. We can talk then.

-Mrs. Mary Cosgrove

\---

Dear Ms. McCoy,

I will be taking a short leave of absence after my next session with Joanna for some much needed rest and to consult with some of my colleagues. I apologize for leaving at such a delicate time in her treatment, but I will be leaving her in the care of Dr. Caryn Johnson. She's a good counselor, very professional, and good with children. As always you have my comm frequency if there are any emergencies. I will return in about one month and we can continue our sessions then.

Sincerely  
-Dr. Marina Amanin

\---

[Peach Tree Elementary Intranet Communication]  
[From] Phillips, Lawrence A. 5th Grade  
[To] Cosgrove, Mary Sue, S.D.  
[Friday, 26 Aug. 2259 12:01PM]

Mary,  
She was meditating.  
-Lawrence.

\---

[Peach Tree Elementary Intranet Communication]  
[From] Cosgrove, Mary Sue, S.D.  
[To] Phillips, Lawrence A. 5th Grade  
[Friday, 26 Aug. 2259 12:05PM]

What are you talking about?

-Miss Mary

\---

[Peach Tree Elementary Intranet Communication]  
[From] Phillips, Lawrence A. 5th Grade  
[To] Cosgrove, Mary Sue, S.D.  
[Friday, 26 Aug. 2259 12:09PM]

The McCoy girl. She was meditating. She said it was her coping mechanism- her words, not mine. I'm reviewing her file now, while the kids are at lunch. Mary, have you seen this?! I didn't realize she was Lieutenant Commander McCoy's daughter. They say he's the best doctor in the fleet. The man's a genius. I have a few more minutes before the kids come back and I would appreciate it if you'd go over this with me.

-Lawrence

\---

[Peach Tree Elementary Intranet Communication]  
[From] Cosgrove, Mary Sue, S.D.  
[To] Phillips, Lawrence A. 5th Grade  
[Friday, 26 Aug. 2259 12:10PM]

Leonard McCoy is also a drunk and an asshole. I've invited Joanna's mother to the barbeque, but you should get a heads-up about the McCoys before. I'll be there in a minute to fill you in on the details.

-Mary

\---

Dear Ms. McCoy,

It seems I've jumped to conclusions about Joanna and I apologize. She doesn't need S-D, she needs an accelerated learning environment and I'm not sure Peach Tree Elementary has the resources she needs. There are some gifted programs in Atlanta and I can probably help find a way to have her transported there maybe twice a week. I'll have to look into it a little more, but any accelerated program would be lucky to have her. I look forward to meeting you at the barbecue this weekend.

Sincerely,  
-Mr. Lawrence A. Phillips  
5th Grade, Peach Tree Elementary

\---

Dear Savas,

My counselor is leavin'! She won't be back for a month, but I still gotta go to sessions every week. I gotta start all over again and dang if that ain't frustratin'. Your guardians are about as illogical as the grownups I have to deal with every day. What is this, the third girl they brought over? I told Mr. Phillips that sometimes I need to meditate so I don't punch Luanne in the face and he seemed to think that was a pretty good idea. They're still talkin' about me behind my back, though. There's a barbecue for Mr. Phillips this weekend and you know what they have at barbecues?

Meat.

I hope there's at least potato salad and corn and stuff. I never did answer your question about iced tea in my last letter. There's just a lot going on. Daddy says they're all done with their humanitarian mission and Uncle Jim won't tell me where they're going next. (Classified, you know) That's what I wanna do - humanitarian stuff. Mostly he helped people with malnutrition, but he says they helped people with psychological stuff too. I'm gonna look into psychological problems next, but I think I like studyin' on diseases better. They're much more inner-...int-er-est-ing.

To answer your other question, Daddy doesn't really talk about Uncle Jim and just says he's being a gentleman (which I didn't expect at all!), but Uncle Jim says they're gettin' on just fine. He finally quit tellin' me about kissing, thank heavens! I try not to think about it too much, to tell you the truth.

Oh! I almost forgot! I don't know about other places, but Mama says that sweet iced tea is about as Southern as beans cornbread. And we say "iced" tea instead of "cold" tea. Cold ain't wrong, 'cause it _is_ cold, but I ain't never heard anybody say it that way.

There's a lot in this book on Aristotle and Plato, so I'll have to put that on my list of things to look at. I can't find much on Surak, though. The way you explain it, logic ain't that much different than math. It makes sense, I guess, but I'm still working on how to use it to control my emotions.

I gotta get. If I don't write Uncle Jim, he's gonna freak out.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

P.S. Mama's not decided about the language school yet. I'll let you know

Qd1-a4


	21. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim Kirk has his own way of dealing with trauma: writing to his deceased father. McCoy takes up the habit of writing to his own deceased father because there are some things he needs to say. Riley hates being alone in Engineering. There are more notes at the end, but they will spoil the story, so they are the thing that is a footnote.

Dear Daddy,

Five years today you've been dead. I'm writing because... Well, because, dammit, there are some things I never got to say to you. I reckon I was so caught up in the shitstorm that was my life I never did deal with any actual grief. This is as good a way as any.

After you died, everything pretty much went into the shitter. I lost Jocelyn, lost Jo, lost my practice, lost everything but my bones. I pretty much failed at life. And then... I did the most idiotic thing I've ever done. Len Aviophobic McCoy joined up with Starfleet. So, forgive me if I sound like a recruiting ad, but damned if that didn't turn my life around. I met this kid on the shuttle after I was recruited. We were both hungover, looking like shit, and out of place like two peas in pressurized death trap. Then, like the genius that I am, I threw up on him. Great way start to a friendship, right?

As fate would have it, this kid was Jim Kirk, the delinquent son of Captain George Kirk. He was always a symbol, just a name they trot out during all the patriotic bullshit on Federation Day, and here was the man's son, born the day his father died, and he was as much of a fuck-up as I was.

Now I'm sitting here in the CMO's office, my office, on the Federation flagship and Jim Kirk is her captain. If five years ago you'd told me I'd be sitting here, doing what I'm doing, I'd have called you delusional. I just wanted to say that I'm doing alright now and I've turned things around.

I miss you.  
Love,  
-Len

\---

Hey, Dad,

I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. When I was a kid, I wrote these because I could say anything to you and I imagined you said whatever the perfect father would say. But really, I don't know who you were or what kind of dad you really would have been. I guess I've still got stuff I need to get off my chest. My personal log is all well and good, but it's not the same as writing _to_ someone. In a way, it's easier for me than it is for Bones. I never had to grow up knowing you. You never disapproved of me, never told me I wasn't good enough. You were a known quantity.

So, anyway, Dad, I told you about Bones and his kid and everything. The kid is freakin' awesome. I mean, she's wicked smart and funny as all hell. I want to keep her all to myself as a secret weapon. Not even the Klingons will be able to resist her. I feel bad for Bones, though. I mean, I've got Sam's kids and I love them and I miss them, but it's not the same. I don't know what I'd do if I ever had a kid. Sam applied for the job on Deneva. It's a good place for Peter and Alex and mini-Sam #3 to grow up and the planet is just gorgeous.

Mom is... well. She's well. She worries about me. Maybe I should have gone to college like Sam and gotten a job on some nice planet somewhere with a wife and three kids, but in spite of it all, I love what I do. I love my crew. I've probably said this a hundred times since my promotion, but I love this job. It never fucking gets old.

I've been thinking about Frank lately. I hated him so much and I was almost glad when he didn't make the cut on Tarsus - almost. I'm not heartless. A life is still a life, even if it belongs to an asshole like Frank. Turns out Kodos had been alive this whole time, in hiding as an actor of all things. It was like having a freaking ghost on my ship and it was all I could do not to pitch him out an airlock. I even stopped Riley from phasering the bastard. I considered doing that myself, but I wanted justice, not just more death. It wouldn't have solved anything anyway. Now Kodos is dead... again. I didn't kill him, his crazy-ass daughter did. What a wack-job that one was. Guess it runs in the family.

Love,  
-Jim

\---

Dear Daddy,

I had a moment today when Nurse Chapel called for "Dr. McCoy" and for just a split second, I thought she meant you. How's that for fucked-up daddy issues? This was Jim's idea, you know - the letters, that is. He says he writes to his father and that it's one of the way he deals with things. You would not believe the psychological work-up on him -history of violence, abuse, trauma from the Tarsus IV incident. Most men would have fallen apart at the seams or committed suicide, but Jim Kirk just keeps going. I am continually amazed by him. Conventional therapy is ineffective, so he had work it out his own way and I am astounded by how well-adjusted he is, considering the circumstances under which he grew up.

Hell, I had you and Mama, stable home environment and everything and I still turned out just as messed up as he is. Just goes to show you...

You should see Jo. All I get are pictures, but she's growing like a weed. She's a lot like her mama, smart, fierce, and beautiful to boot, but she's a lot like me, too - temperamental, a fighting McCoy like her old man (like you), cusses like a sailor (also like you). She's got this little Vulcan friend that's sweet on her and I wouldn't be surprised if she's got a whole army of boys back in Peach Tree following her around. Pretty soon, I'll have to go home and take to polishing a phaser rifle on the front porch when she starts bringing boys home.

Hell, who am I kidding? No boy's got a chance against Jo.

She writes to Jim and I'm about convinced the two of them are not only dangerous, but that they have it in for me. Dammit, Daddy, you'd have my ass if I told you this when you were alive, but I think I love the man -not that I'm queer, because I ain't. I'm still the same Len McCoy, but who else is going to put up with my shit? No matter how much of an asshole I am, he's sticks around. He's harder to shake than the Ankaran flu and believe me, I've tried on both accounts. Not only that, but he's good with Jo. He's reckless, impulsive, and his libido could power the warp drive, but he's also a gentleman. I can hardly believe that myself. He likes Shakespeare and can be as polite as he can be annoying. He came into my office just yesterday and recited a sonnet from memory. It hardly makes up for the bad poetry he writes over the Intership comms, but it was sweet. I don't know what I'm going to do with him.

Enough of this shit. I'm either choleric or sentimental. You'd have told me that, too. I can just hear it, "Quit your bellyaching Leonard. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it, you tempramental sonofabitch." I don't know if this will last and I know you wouldn't have approved, but I've got to give it a chance.

I won't lie, no reason to lie to a dead man, but I've got a Federation Standard Crapload of guilt that I couldn't save you. They haven't found a cure yet, so in a way I feel like I did the right thing. I couldn't see you like that, couldn't bear to see you wasted away. I try to tell myself it was a mercy to let you go, but I'm supposed to save lives, not take them.

We're on Cygnia Minor for just a few more days and I've seen more malnutrition than I care to talk about. Everytime I see a kid whose face is too thin, I think of Jim at that age and what he must have gone through. It's almost more than a man can handle, but it's good work. I'm saving lives. Maybe in a small way, this makes up for the ones I can't save.

Miss you,  
Love,  
-Len

\---

Hey, Dad,

I heard from Jo today - Bones' kid. She's trying to convince her mom to send her to a language school on Cerberus. I wonder if she needs a recommendation letter? I'm sure Pike will write her one, so mine won't be quite as impressive as a letter from an Admiral, but if she asks, I'm so there. I finally convinced her to read _Art of War_. I guess I was about her age when I found your copy. It was in your old Starfleet-issue PADD, the one with your logs from before you were assigned to the Kelvin. I had to transfer the data to a new one when the circuits of your old one degraded, but I've still got the old thing. It's huge. You could fit a dozen of the new ones in it - or your lunch. Maybe I'll have Scotty fix it, maybe not, I don't know. It's just one of the few things of yours I have and I can't tell you how often I've used _Art of War._ That and _The Complete Works of William Shakespeare_ have been my holy books since forever.

I even used it to get laid a time or three- _Art of War_ , not the Shakespeare (except some of the Sonnets). Oh, man, Dad, I totally need to point this out to Chekov! He and Sulu are the best together. They're like what a couple is supposed to be like. It's all new and shiny and real for them and really, I'm kind of jealous. I want that. I want what they've got.

Bones has got his shields up, metaphorically speaking, so I'm working on establishing trust and getting him to lower his defenses before I go in for the kill. And by "kill," I mean sex. It's going to take a long time to wear him down, but I can be patient. Patience is my secret weapon. Everyone thinks I'm overeager and reckless and "leap before you look" and so on, but I can be patient when I need to and I need to with him. Bones and I are just hand-holding and kissing, nothing that warrants more than a PG rating, y'know? I can hold out on the serious making out until he's ready.

I've started Spaghetti Western night again, like I used to do with him in the Academy. Once a week, we eat the crap cardboard spaghetti from the food slot and watch old Clint Eastwood movies. Once we watched _Gunfight at the O.K. Corral_ , and it was kind of awesome. One of the Earps kinda looked like Bones, which was alternately weird and hilarious. It's not your normal dinner-and-a-movie date, but it's kind of our thing.

I'll be glad to be done here at Cygnia Minor. I'm tired of the ghosts of Tarsus. I keep seeing people I knew in those thin faces down there. Riley's the same. We're both staying up here in orbit. It's just too much.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Riley, K.  
23.8.2259 23:13FST

Hope I'm not bothering you, Captain. I just... feel like I'm the only human being in the Universe down here.  
-Lt. Riley

\---

To: Lt. Riley, K.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
23.8.2259 23:18FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]  
[Proceed?] Y

Kev,  
No, you're not bothering me. Hang in there, buddy. We'll be done in a couple days and then I'll have you transferred back up to communications. You have my word.  
You need to talk?  
-Jim

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Riley, K.  
23.8.2259 23:25FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,  
Yeah, I kinda do. I had this awful feeling like it was all happening again. I'm sorry I couldn't help out dirtside. I just couldn't face it, not after seeing Kodos again. My mother, my father - both gone. I watched them, watched him as he did it. It was quick and painless, but they were still dead. I was going to kill the bastard, too and I don't in the least feel guilty about it. Except, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty about it. Does that even make sense? I get punchy on Gamma shift.  
-Kev

\---

To: Lt. Riley, K.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
23.8.2259 23:32FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

You're a Catholic, I'm a bacon-eating Jew - guilt we can handle. And we're both Irish. You should know about the potato famine: Half the Irish died, half left, and half were left behind. Then they wrote the saddest songs in existence. I know this because I've heard you singing them and I can't think of anything sadder than your singing.  
Hey - Sartori's asleep and Bones is dirtside. You want a banana split? I'll share one with you.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Riley, K.  
23.8.2259 23:35FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Be in the mess in five minutes. First one there gets the cherry on top.

\---

To: Lt. Riley, K.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
23.8.2259 23:36FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

I'll be there in two and we can both have a cherry on top.

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

They're still talking about me behind my back and it's pissing me off so bad that I just want to cuss and hit something. I did tell Mr. Phillips that I sometimes have to meditate so I don't punch Luanne in the face and he seemed to think that was a good idea. Mama and I are going to a barbecue for Mr. Phillips and you know what? Peter ain't coming. He's doing something up in Kentucky for a week - something to do with thoroughbreds. Mama's pissed.

My only problem is that it's a barbecue and I'm vegetarian. You reckon they even thought of that?

My counselor won't be back for a _whole month_. I guess she needed a vacation 'cause she was starting to look real tired. I'll tell you all about the new lady when I meet her. She ain't a betazoid, I know that much, so she won't be poking around in my thoughts, thank goodness!

Promise I'll write more later, but I've still got homework and dinner's real soon!  
Love,  
-Jo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,
> 
> Re: David McCoy's illness. It is possible he contracted the disease earlier in the reboot 'verse than in the Prime Universe, but a cure was not found until 2264. I'm also taking liberties with Riley's age. I've got him as about the same age or a little bit younger than Kirk.  
> Also, Jess!verse Kirk is Jewish. I'm not sure why. It's as good a religion as any for him to not practice. The term bacon-eating Jew is by no means intended to offend. My brother is Reform and just that: Jewish, but eats bacon.  
> I'm now tempted to write Passover Seder on the Enterprise... Someone please talk me out of it.
> 
> Love,  
> -Jess


	22. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo explains the concept of a barbecue, including what one eats and what one does at such a function. Savas has angst.

Dear Savas,

Mama says I can go to the language program on Cerberus! I'm gonna learn Vulcan! Mr. Phillips is writin' a letter for me for the application and I gotta get two more from people that ain't in my family. I reckon Uncle Chris would if I asked and then there's Uncle Jim. I know lots of grownups that could write nice letters about me, but it's only logical to ask the smartest ones. I gotta write my own letter, too, to say why I want to learn Vulcan and I think it's pretty danged obvious, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I thought about askin' your help, but I'm pretty sure I gotta do it myself.

The barbecue for Mr. Phillips was nice. They had plenty to eat that wasn't meat. Mama made her potato salad, which is the only kind of potato salad I like, and there was macaroni salad and cornbread, too but the baked beans and greenbeans and potatoes had pork in 'em. I like greenbeans and potatoes, but why do you got to put pork in everything? I don't get it. Pig ain't a spice.

I think they expected me to play with the other kids or something while they talked behind my back, but I wasn't gonna have any of it. I wasn't disrespectful or anything, but I told them that if they had something to say about me that they could say it to my face. It's a wonder Mama didn't dump her potato salad onto Miss Mary 'cause I could tell she was gettin' pissed off. It was Mr. Phillips that asked me what I wanted, so I told 'em. I wish they'd done that in the first place. Anyway, cross your fingers for me about my application and stuff 'cause I still gotta get in. That's another metaphor. People really do cross their fingers, but it means to wish me luck.

I meet with my new counselor tomorrow.

Okay, I reset the board. I guess I still play white, right? One of these days, I'm gonna win.

Ll&p  
-Jo

d2-d4

\---

Dear Jo,

I am glad your mother and teachers have seen the logical path to take. The Admiral is a wise choice. I have little information regarding Captain Kirk aside from the news feeds and what you have told me, but I understand that he is skilled in diplomacy. If you require an additional letter of recommendation, I would be glad to write one for you. A letter from T'Pau would be most helpful, but I do not think that would be possible.

Pigs are mammals and not, as you say, a spice. A spice is an aromatic plant-derived flavoring. Is this a common misconception? Is macaroni salad similar to macaroni and cheese? What is the degree of variation in potato salad and why is one favored over another? Can you describe a barbecue in detail? This is a most fascinating aspect of your culture.

Perhaps your mother would benefit from meditation as well, but it is good that she managed to control her emotions.

I wish you good luck and I shall, as you say "keep my fingers crossed."

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

d7-d6

\---

[UNN News Feed: 29 August, 2259]

>Disaster on Cygnia Minor averted. Federation relief saves thousands.  
>Daughter of Kodos the Executioner placed in Federation custody for questioning.  
>Astral Queen to host release concert for Baltar's Betrayal album: _Circuit in the Brain_.  
>Man juggles live geese, "They like it. I hardly ever drop them."

\---

Dear Savas,

What I meant to say is that people use pork to flavor stuff like you do with spices, not that people actually think it's a spice. Macaroni salad's not the same as macaroni and cheese. It's got the same bendy noodles, but it's got onions and olives and stuff in it with either mayonaisse or some kind of creamy dressing. There's as many kinds of potato salad as people that make it. My mama's is made with olives and onions and eggs. She left out the eggs 'cause I don't like it that way, but she put in sweet peppers. Miss Mary's has bacon in it.

Let's see, you dress up a little bit, but not too much for a barbecue. Mama wanted me to wear a dress, but I wore my Starfleet t-shirt instead. Uncle Chris sent me one. I'm sendin' you a picture. Mama took forever takin' it. Anyway, you make somethin' like potato salad that you don't have to cook or keep cold and Reverend Barrett slow cooked some ribs to eat. They smelled real good, but I didn't eat any. Mr. Phillips brought beer and sodas. Mostly people just stand around and talk. All the men go stand around the grill and poke at the meat and the fire while they talk about sports while the women talk about each other behind their backs. It was a _disaster_ when the church had one for my counselor 'cause she can tell what you're really thinking. Mrs. Campbell was talkin' to Mama and I think she said something about Daddy, but I don't know what got said. Now this Betazoid woman didn't know any better and said something which I think was supposed to be helpful, but then Mama damn near punched Mrs. Campbell in the face. Kids just run around and play and eat and get fussed at for getting dirty or too close to the grill.

Miss Caryn, my new counselor is alright. She wears weird hats all the time, but she ain't telepathic so she don't root around in my head. She gave me lemon drops and just listened. I ain't decided about her just yet, but I think I like her better than the other one.

I talked to Uncle Chris and Uncle Jim and all my letters should be out by the end of the week. I'm tryin' not to be nervous. I may need to sit in my tree 'cause I ain't never been off planet and I don't know if I'm even going to get in anyway.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

c2-c3  
\---

Dear Jo,

Perhaps a barbecue is something that must be experienced to be fully understood. I would be interested in observing the social interaction.

I am currently researching macaroni salad and potato salad. Fascinating. Upon a cursory review of recipes, I have found more than six hundred variations of potato salad and four hundred distinct versions of macaroni salad. My search was not exhaustive and was only concluded when my guardians insisted that I rest. Since I am responsible for preparing meals once every ten days, I shall attempt to re-create several versions of each in order to discern which is preferable.

Good luck with your counselor as well.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Nb8-c6

\---

Dear Savas,

I just heard from Uncle Chris. His letter is sent. I'm gonna pester Uncle Jim about it today when I'm done writin' you.

I looked for Mama's potato salad recipe to send you, but I couldn't find it, so here's her lasagna:

10-12 lasagna noodles  
3/4 liter spaghetti sauce  
about 1 kg chopped spinach  
2/5 kg ricotta cheese  
1/4 liter each grated Parmesan and shredded Mozerella

Preheat oven to 190ºC. Boil lasagna noodles. Spread thin layer of sauce on bottom of glass baking dish (approx. 18x30cm rectangular). Place a layer of half the noodles over this, overlapping by half the width. Cover with a layer of half the remaining spaghetti sauce. In a separate bowl, combine spinach, Ricotta and one fourth each of the Parmesan and Mozzarella. Spread a layer of all of this mixture. Layer the remaining noodles on top of this. Spread the remaining sauce. Top with the rest of the cheese. Bake until cheese starts to brown.

What's going on with you lately? Your letters have been kinda short. I worry about you.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

Nb1-d2

\---

Dear Jo,

I do not wish for you to worry. I am... okay. No. That is dishonest. I feel as though I am... damaged somehow, as though I am not functioning in the way a Vulcan should. I have been able to keep control of my emotions more consistently in the past few weeks, but there is a personal matter that I have been considering for some time.

You suggested that I touch minds with my guardians so that we may better understand one another. I have done so and have gained a better understanding as regards their motivations in that which they ask of me. They feared that I wished to abandon logic and become more human, expressing uncontrolled emotion. There are Vulcans who have done so, but I do not wish to be like them. They are savage and their ways are abhorrent to me. I am fascinated by human cultures, but I do not wish to become human. I am a Vulcan.

As a consequence of the destruction of Vulcan, those children near to my age have been spared the kahs-wan. This is a rite-of-passage wherein we spend time in the wilderness with little to no provisions so that we may learn to rely on our logic to survive. I do not remember if I have explained this to you before, so forgive me if I have repeated myself. After some introspection, I have decided that the disjointedness I am experiencing may be somewhat alleviated by experiencing the kahs-wan. In this way, I hope to reconnect with what it means to be Vulcan.

You are my friend, Joanna McCoy, and I hope you do not think ill of me.

I shall attempt lasagna when next I prepare our evening meal.

Peace and long life,  
-Savas

Nc6xd4

\---

Dear Savas,

Of course I don't think bad of you. Y'know, one time Luanne said that I wanted to be a Vulcan - well, maybe it was more like five times, but that's not the point. I don't wanna be a Vulcan. I'm innersted, ugh- in-ter-es-ted in logic and stuff because I feel a little damaged my own self. I know I ain't like the other kids. Sometimes I'm glad, sometimes it pisses me off.  
If I think about the logic of it, no matter what, I'm Jo McCoy. It ain't logical for me to want to be Vulcan, 'cause I ain't Vulcan. I'm human. It ain't logical for you to wanna be human 'cause you ain't. A dog can't be cat 'cause it wants to. If it's a dog, it's a dog. I reckon I'm preachin' to the choir, but I just wanna say you're right.

I don't know if I could do a kahs-wahn. I read in one of my books that y'all can go without food and water for a long time and since you and I got different physiologies, it wouldn't make any sense for me to do something like that. I wonder if there's something similar I could do on down the line, y'know, to test my logic. Don't you reckon there ought to be some kind of school for humans that want to learn Vulcan logic? Surely to goodness I can't be the only one!

Anyhow, you just try and be the best Vulcan you know how to be. That's what my mama would say, Daddy too. Well, they wouldn't say that to me 'cause that wouldn't make any sense, but you know what I mean. I'm sorry I'm not more help. I'm just tryin' to help you think about the logic of it.

I found mama's potato salad recipe:

potatoes, peeled and cubed  
hardboiled eggs, cubed  
sweet onion, diced  
black olives  
mayo  
paprika

boil potatoes, drain and cool. Combine all ingredients and garnish with paprika

Peter came back from Kentucky. Mama's mad. We had lasagna for dinner, just like in the recipe I sent and he complained there wasn't any meat in it. I said, "I'm still vegetarian, Peter." and Mama said, "She's done her research-" which is only kinda true 'cause you did most of the research, I just read it and told her about it. Well, then he said something like "Since when is the kid the boss?" That wasn't exactly it, but that was more or less what he meant. Well, I explained the chain of command like Uncle Jim said, 'cause it seems logical to me and he got all mad 'cause there wasn't any meat in the lasagna and we ain't had meat in our house since I decided to be a vegetarian and it was like I was in charge of things- which I ain't, by the way, so I tried to explain to him again, but he thought I was talkin' to him like he was dumb. I wasn't, tho', I was just trying to explain so's he'd understand.  
So anyway, he left the house for I don't know where and I told Mama I was sorry, but she said it wasn't my fault and I didn't do nothin' wrong.  
Y'know, she changed the access code on the door after he was gone. I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow.

Uncle Jim sent his letter out. I finished mine after school today and I'm sending it tomorrow. They said we'd hear back within a week.

Sorry about such a long letter, I couldn't sleep. I'm getting tired now, though, so I best get to bed. I finished my letter for my application. Everything gets sent tomorrow moring. Really cross your fingers for me tomorrow!

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

c3xd4

\---

[UNN News Feed: 5 September, 2259]

>Starfleet to host conference on space-time anomalies in Sydney. Cmdr. J. Crichton to discuss wormhole theory: "It could make warp drives obsolete."  
>Deposits of topaline found on Capella IV.  
>Scientists to explore planet M113 on an extended archeological dig. Dr. N. Crater: "Learning how other cultures lived and died helps us learn about ourselves."  
>"Don't Kiss the Blonde" rises to #6 on the interplanetary charts. _Circuit in the Brain_ a critical success.


	23. Hey, kiddo!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine on Deep Space 3, Kirk can't sleep, and normal people don't take over the world.

Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.9.2259 22:55FST  
  
Had to record testimony for the Karidian case. "Bitch was crazy and killed her own father who jumped in front of a phaser blast to save me. The end." I left Riley's name out of it. He doesn't need the publicity and it's my duty to protect him.  
  
Patrols are going well. Nobody's tried to kill me this week, so Bones is pretty happy about that and a happy Bones is a frisky Bones. I had to have a long, long shower after checking in with the Kazarites. Those guys can party, but two days of hanging out with these dudes and their furry deer-sheep friends and you come home smelling like a barn. I just wish there was actual water. Anyway, Bones was in the room. We both had reports to write and I focus a little better on that kind of stuff when he's there. So I come out in just my towel (My fluffy, fluffy towel) and Bones is there just looking like he could have me for lunch.  
That look is... intense.  
  
 _Marry, the immortal part needs a physician..._  
  
Scratch that.  
The _mortal_ part needs a physician. A very neglected mortal part, I might add.  
  
\---  
  
Hey, Kiddo!  
  
Heard back from the language school yet? I hear it's a good program. I fact, I knew some people in the Xenolinguistics club that went there. It's supposed to be pretty hardcore, you think you can handle it? Anyway, when you get older, I'll teach you how to curse in Klingon - it involves lots of phlegm and spitting. Come to think of it, it's not that different from Hebrew.  
  
Not much going on this week. We're patrolling around some of the deep space stations and delivering supplies and checking in with scientists living on some of the more remote planets. That part is kinda neat because I get to meet all different kinds of people. I met a botanist from Germany, an Andorian geologist, and a whole team of Kazarite ecologists. One of them was talking to a herd of these weird six-legged deer-sheep things _with his brain_! It was the coolest thing.  
  
How are things on the home front?  
  
Love,  
Uncle Jim  
  
\---  
  
Dear Uncle Jim,  
  
I'm so excited I could bust! I got the letter today and I'm leaving for Cerberus right after Christmas! It's six months, but I'll be back in time to stay at Uncle Chris's house for the Starfleet summer program and then when I see Savas, I can talk to him _in Vulcan_!! I just did the most illogical dance around my room that you ever did see. I know it's a long time away from Mama and I ain't never been off planet before, so I'm nervous as all get out, but I'm nine years old and I can handle it. I'll get to send letters and stuff, though, so it won't be too bad. I gotta write to Savas about it today. He won't get all excited about it like I am, but that's just his way.  
  
I don't know if you should be cussing in Klingon. I get in trouble for cussing in English and I bet cussing in Klingon is much worse.  
  
Anyhow, I came home from school the other day and all of Peter's stuff was sitting by the end of the driveway and his horses were hitched out front - Bitey, Stinky, _and_ Fleabitten. You know what else?  
  
It was raining.  
  
He never did anything but complain anyway.  
  
Anyway, things are looking up!  
  
Sometimes I think you make stuff up, but Daddy says there's a lot of weird stuff out in space. He told me about those sheep things, so I know you ain't making that part up at least.  
  
Love,  
-Jo  
  
\---  
  
[UNN News Feed: 10 September, 2259]  
  
>Tiburonian scientist and electrical engineer, Dr. H. Sevrin abandons research: "I just want a simpler life."  
>Deep Space Three quarantined due to outbreak of Cartalian fever.  
> _Enterprise_ Captain James T. Kirk submits testimony in Karidian case. Lawyers plead insanity for Lenore Karidian.  
>This season's Terran fashions feature shorter hemlines and luxurious Andorian batiks.  
  
\---  
  
Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
10.9.2259 22:53FST  
  
We're flying free for a couple days, which means some down time. We'll be headed to Deep Space Three to give medical assistance. Mr. "Space is Disease and Danger" is chomping at the bit to get there. He wants to make a difference, y'know? He wants to do the big stuff.  
I'm big stuff.  
...he should do me.  
A lot.  
STILL NO SEX!  
I think the lack of sex is addling my brain. I would swear to you Spock was coming on to me on the bridge yesterday.  
  
Chekov & Sulu are definitely an item now. They try to be subtle, but Chekov is like this adorable bouncy puppy. I could set a red alert by making him blush. They haven't had sex yet, but at this rate, he's going to get laid before I do. Not fair, I tell you, not fair at all. Must be the accent?  
  
There was serious making out, though, and there's something to be said for that. Better not tell Jo. She'll kick my ass.  
  
Catching up on work with Bones tomorrow. I may arrange a shower at a strategically convenient time to see if he'll do the face again. He has the best faces.  
  
\---  
  
What's happenin', Joanna banana?  
  
Congratulations! I knew you'd get in. Your plan to rule the universe with your awesomeness appears to be well underway. I will do an awesome and illogical dance for you in my quarters this evening. I'm on the bridge now, so I'll save it for later lest I get the eyebrow of doom from Spock. I hope my letter helped. You want to know what I wrote?  
  
Dear smart language peoples:  
Jo kan talk good Englush. She is very good talker of stuff and has a Vulkin boyfriend. This is why you should let her learn about Vulkin stuffs, including the talking.  
Love,  
Captan Jimmy of the Enterprize  
  
Hey, you'll be interested in this- We're going to DS3 (That's Deep Space Three) to deliver medical assistance - Cartalian fever. It's not very deadly, but your dad says it's really contagious. So, naturally, he wants to get into the thick of it. Don't worry, I'll keep him from doing anything dumb.  
  
Oh, yeah. There's some weird stuff out here and there's so much we haven't seen. I don't _have_ to make anything up.  
  
How's the new counselor working out for you? Do we need to come up with a new strategy for dealing with her? Glad to hear about Peter. He sounded like a real jerk.  
  
Love,  
-Uncle Jim  
  
\---  
  
Dear Uncle Jim,  
  
You're so weird. I think of all the weird stuff in space, you're the weirdest. Anyway, I know what DS3 is. Daddy told me already. He says that the most important thing for him to find out is how the disease is transmitted. I looked up Cartalian fever and nobody knows if it's airborne or contact or what. Maybe Daddy can find out. Just don't do anything dumb like touch somebody infected then rub your eyes. Don't forget to sanitize your hands, either. Luanne never sanitizes her hands when she goes to the restroom. She is so gross! She must be the vector for every dang little bug that goes around and I wouldn't be surprised if that flu I had last year was because of her nasty hands.  
I'd like to quarantine her in deep space.  
  
My new counselor is real nice. Neither of us said much our first session. See, I was waiting for her to make the first move, so I could get to know her strategy. Then she gave me a lemon drop. I couldn't say no to that, but I wasn't fooled for a minute. Then _she_ started talking. Turns out she's got problems worse than mine. Anyhow, she doesn't try to fix me like the other one. I ain't broken. I just get mad. I don't even get mad like I used to. You know what else? She doesn't tell Mama _anything_.  
  
Here's a letter I'm sending to Uncle Chris for you:  
  
Deer Admirul,  
  
Unkle Jim is the bestest kaptin of thu Ennerprize. Yu shuld send him and his crew peoples in the big shiny ship to Erf. Thems wuld like to bee on Erf for sometimes.  
  
Luv,  
-Jo  
  
How's that?  
I saw on the news feeds that Kodos the Executioner was on your ship! I read about him when you and Daddy were helping on Cygnia Minor and my book said he died, but I guess he didn't. Anyway, I read in the news that he jumped in front of you and got killed instead of you, but I don't know if that makes up for all those people. You don't just kill people. I almost feel sorry for that crazy woman for having a Daddy like that. Did they ever find out who she was after?  
  
I gotta go. Mama's gonna have a brain hemorrhage if I don't get my homework done.  
  
Love,  
-Jo  
  
\---  
  
[UNN News Feed 12 September, 2259]  
  
>M'benga family sets up memorial scholarship for study of Vulcan medicine. "He would have wanted this. Vulcan medicine was his passion," says widow.  
>Lt. Cmdr. Dr. Leonard McCoy to head relief mission to DS3. Starfleet Medical liason: "Dr. McCoy's research in disease transmission and vector pathways is exemplary."  
>Psych eval for Lenore Karidian under review. Prosecution argues for incurability and admittance to Elba II facility.  
>USS Hermes to investigate subspace blackout on Alderaan. Scientists speculate interference from recently discovered asteroid field.  
  
\---  
  
Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.9.2259 23:55 FST  
  
Can't sleep.  
Gonna pace the corridors, maybe pop up onto the bridge.  
  
\---  
  
Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
13.9.2259 05:36 FST  
  
Bones is in my bed. Holy hell, Bones is in my bed.  
Ran into him on the way to the bridge last night. Neither of us could sleep. He's been working nonstop since we got to DS3 and I had a long day of controlling angry mobs. Near riots because of the quarantine and guess whose job it is to cajole the angry hordes? Yeah, mine. So, we watched _The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly_ in my quarters and I don't remember who fell asleep first, so it must have been me. There were snuggles, but both of us were too wound up/tired for anything more. Nothing, y'know, _happened_. We just slept.  
...in the same bed.  
...together.  
  
This is huge.  
  
Shower now, then... waffles. We must commemorate the event with waffles. I have deemed it so.  
  
\---  
  
Hey there, Queen Jo,  
  
Sorry I haven't written, but it's been really crazy here. A lot of people aren't happy about the quarantine, but I promise I'm sanitizing my hands and eating my vegeables and going to bed on time and all that good stuff. Geez, you're bossy! You sound just like your dad. Of course, I kinda like that about you. You'd make an awesome Admiral. I liked your letter by the way, you should send it.  
  
As counselors go, the new one sounds alright. I've seen a lot of them and most of them don't understand that people like you and I don't want to be "fixed" or "normal." Forget "normal." We're too awesome for that. Normal people don't rule the universe.  
  
I forget you read the news feeds, so I guess I'd better behave myself. Yeah, Kodos was on the ship. You're right and there's nothing that will bring back all those people, but maybe the ones that are left can rest a little easier now. She was after a couple members of my crew who had been on Tarsus out of some kind of revenge thing - that much should be in the news feed. I don't know, I was just trying to protect my crew. The important thing is that she's in Federation custody and will get the help she needs.  
  
Your dad was in the news feed, too, but I bet you already knew that. They left out all the parts where I had to tell people that "quarantine" means you can't leave until the disease is under control. They still don't believe me and nobody's happy, but at least your dad is making people well again. We should be out of here in about a week, maybe two. I don't know.  
  
How's your boyfriend these days?  
  
Love,  
Uncle Jim  
  
\---  
  
Dear Uncle Jim,  
  
Dammit, Uncle Jim, he ain't my boyfriend!! I already told you a hundred times! He's just my friend and we send letters and play chess. It ain't like you and daddy, especially since he's on the other side of space. I'm nine, I don't _have_ a boyfriend. Why you got to be gross like that? Anyway, last chess game we played, I won, but he's been stressed out about stuff. He's got a strategy, though, and I reckon it's a pretty logical plan, but I'm a little worried. Vulcan kids do a thing where they go out into the wilderness and use their logic to survive. It's called kahs-wan. I couldn't do it because I've got a different physiology than he does and I can't go as long without food and water. Anyway, he says it'll help him feel more connected to his people. I hope it works.  
  
I know I ain't like the other kids, but I never thought about it the way you said. "Normal people don't rule the universe." That's for sure! If you were a normal person, you wouldn't be Captain Jim! And if I were a normal person, I wouldn't be Queen Jo!  
  
Daddy says that Cartalian fever is transmitted by contact and that it hides inside the normal bacteria that live on your skin. Now aren't you glad you sanitize your hands? I hope you don't have to stay there too long, but I think between you and Daddy, you can take care of things better than anybody.  
  
He also says you drool in your sleep.  
  
I hope that Karidian woman gets some help, too.  
  
Love,  
-Jo  



	24. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine on Deep Space 3, Jim is being remarkably well-behaved (albiet rather illogical), and Bones has an epiphany or two.

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.   
9.9.2259 22:06FST   
  
Kazarite ecologists checked out fine. I'd like to get a good thorough brain scan, but time just did not allow for it. Now, I'm no neurologist, but I'm interested in what areas of the brain are activated when they communicate with animals. I've got some Betazoid scans on file to compare and I'm wondering where the activation sites in the paracortex differ and whether the psylosynine reuptake pathway is the same. Another time, perhaps. At any rate, there have been relatively few intergalactic incidents this week and the only reason Jim's had to be in my sick bay is to pester me. I have to say that I much prefer him this way to having him bleeding on my table or with his guts hanging out on some god-forsaken planet.   
  
Rare is the opportunity I see him unclothed and whole and I have to say that he's a fine specimen. I keep telling myself that I won't fall for the old Kirk charm, but... damn. Either I need to get laid in the worst way or I'm really falling for him, God help me.   
  
\---

Dear Jo,

You heard from Cerberus yet? I'm excited for you and I think this is going to be a good opportunity to use a little more of your brain than you would doing busywork in Peach Tree. Lieutenant Uhura tells me that the Cerberus program is quite good and I'm certain you'll blow them all away. I think your Uncle Jim is about as excited as you are. He's asked me every day this week if I've heard from you about it.

We've been on patrols this week and by the grace of God, your Uncle Jim has managed to stay out of the kind of trouble that puts him in sickbay. Mostly we've been giving annual checkups and delivering supplies to Federation scientists that live in some of the farther reaches of space. I got to meet some Kazarites who were working on the social structure of a goat-like species of herd animals. It was not my cup of tea, but very interesting work all the same. I would like to have been able to get a full brain scan of one of them, but there just wasn't time. They're telepathic, but only with animals and I'm curious to know how their brains are different from betazoid brains.

Whether or not you get into the Cerberus program, you're going to do great at whatever you put your mind to, baby girl. I am so proud of you.

Love,  
-Daddy  
  
\---

DADDY DADDY DADDY!!!

I just got the news five minutes ago! I'm going to Cerberus! I'm so excited, I could bust! I had to do a dance all around my room because I was so excited and I might just need to do it again. I'll be home in time to go to the summer thing in San Francisco and I'll get to talk to Savas <i>in Vulcan.</i> You know what else? If I see miss T'Pau again, I can talk to her, too! When I grow up, I'm gonna be a doctor for Vulcans, so I gotta practice as much as I can. I've got the biggest butterflies in my stomach and I can't wait to go and I'm nervous since I ain't ever been away from home for too long or off planet ever in my life and it's six whole months away from Peach Tree and Luanne and everything! I'm leaving after Christmas.

You know what else? Mama put all of Peter's stuff by the side of the road in the rain, including his stupid bitey horses and he ain't coming back.

Uncle Jim says he might teach me to cuss in Klingon when I get older, but I don't rightly think that's appropriate.

I gotta write to him to tell him, so don't ruin my surprise, okay?

Love you, Daddy!  
-Jo

P.S. Is it scary to leave orbit? I heard that was the worst part of interplanetary travel, but I thought I'd ask you.

\---  
  
[UNN News Feed: 10 September, 2259]

>Governor of Cygnia Minor expresses gratitude for Federation relief: "Without the efforts of Dr. McCoy, we'd be in bad shape."  
>Scientists at Dylan Labs say meteorologists unnecessary for determining wind direction  
>Vulcans to break ground on New Vulcan Science Academy and Center for Cultural Preservation  
>Khan Noonian Singh deemed incurable. Remainder of Botany Bay crew to be sent to rehabilitation facility at Tantalus.  
  
\---  
  
Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
10.9.2259 21:48FST  
  
Jo got accepted to the Cerberus program! I knew she would. I'm glad to see her so excited about this and she's going to be brilliant as always. I happened to be on the bridge when Jim got his letter from Jo and you'd have thought somebody had given him a month's supply of banana splits by the way he grinned. They're good for each other, I think. He's been taking a little bit better care of himself since he started writing Jo and I don't know for sure there's a correlation, but I have my suspicions. Rumor has it that she tells him to eat his vegetables and I am amused to no end by this.    
  
We've been assigned to handle the outbreak of Cartalian fever on Deep Space 3. It's a tricky disease to handle, not deadly, but highly contagious and the means by which it's transmitted is unknown. I suspect some kind of vector, but I'm a loss as to what that may be. I'm anxious to get a chance to look at this thing in action and gather some real-time data to see if I can find some kind of a pattern.   
  
I've got a stack of reports for 'Fleet Medical, patient records, requisition forms, and all that admin. bullshit to work on. Christine handles more than her fair share of it, but there's only so much I can ask her to do. I may go to Jim's, but I'm afraid that might be a bit of a distraction. All the same, I'll at least get to spend some quality time with him.   
  
\---  
  
Dear Jo,

I knew you'd get in. You should have seen the way your Uncle Jim grinned when he got your letter. I haven't seen him that happy in a long time and when I went to his quarters earlier, he was jumping and waving his arms around like he was possessed. He told me he was doing an "awesome and illogical dance" on your behalf, but I want to say that it was more on the side of "illogical" than "awesome." I'm tempted to ask Mr. Spock's opinion on this, but I think I know the answer.

Vulcan Medicine is a difficult field to get into. Not many humans do it and I think it's because it takes a very special kind of person to have the bedside manner to be able to work with Vulcans on a regular basis. I don't know if I've got the wherewithal to handle more than one Vulcan patient for any length of time, but if anyone could do it, baby girl, you could. Even if that's not what you decide to do, it's important to know at least one other language well enough to speak it fluently.

I don't suppose leaving orbit in a shuttle is any scarier than any other part of space travel. I've mostly been beaming to whatever planet we're visiting and in my opinion, that's much worse. If you ask me, I'd rather be in a shuttle than have my atoms scattered across the universe. Last shore leave, your Uncle Jim and I took a shuttle to the planet's surface and the worst part of it was when he fell asleep on me and drooled all over my shirt. Fortunately, we had Mr. Sulu as our pilot, so it was a smooth ride all the way.   
  
How are things at school? Is that Cosgrove woman still insisting you need S-D?  
  
I'm doing research for our next assignment. We're assigned to Deep Space 3 (DS3) to enforce the quarantine and deliver aid and I'm hoping I can find out how it's transmitted so that we know how better to prevent it from spreading. Speaking of, it's getting to be close to flu season, so you be sure to sanitize your hands every time you go to the restroom. It's a simple thing, but it'll keep you healthy when others get sick.  
  
Be good for your mama.   
Love,  
-Daddy  
  
\---

Dear Daddy,

Uncle Jim drools in his sleep? Ew. That ain't sanitary. I'm gonna be sure to tell him to sanitize his hands. You already told me about sanitizing your hands every time you go to the restroom. I remember because there were pictures of germs and I thought they were cool and do you know that Luanne don't even sanitize her hands at all? You'd think a prissy snot like her would want to be clean all the time, but that's just disgusting. She's going to get somebody's coliform bacteria one of these days and then she'll be sorry.

I saw Miss Caryn today. She got me a coke and said that sometimes people like to tell their troubles over a drink. It was an orange Nehi with a bendy straw. I told her I ain't got troubles since Peter moved out and Mr. Phillips lets me meditate during recess when I need to and Luanne's been too dumb to bother with and I get to go to Cerberus to learn Vulcan!

I just can't get over that. Mr. Phillips is excited, too. He told me he was a little jealous 'cause he always wanted to learn Klingon. I told him he still could if he wanted to. Anyhow, he won't let the other kids bother me when I have to meditate at school. I'm kinda disappointed I won't be in his class for half the year, but since I'll be on another whole planet, I don't mind too much. I ain't seen Miss Mary in a long time. I reckon that's just as well.

I forgot to say that I like Miss Caryn alright 'cause she doesn't try to fix me like<i> that woman</i> did. She just listens. I ain't broken, you know. I don't need to be fixed.

Next time, you should get video of Uncle Jim dancing.

Love you, Daddy!  
-Jo  
  
\---  
  
[UNN News Feed 12 September, 2259]  
>Bell Riot reenactors celebrate 235th anniversary of Sanctuary District Abolition Act  
>USS Bozeman completes survey of Paulson Nebula  
>Businessman, H.F. Mudd to acquire Fredrickson's Squids. On diversification: "I am large, I contain multitudes."  
>Blue Lady Productions sponsors botanical convention on Sykara. Scientists to discuss possible sentience of some plants.  
  
\---

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
13.9.2259 09:14 FST  
  
What the hell was I thinking? Nothing happened, but...  
Dammit, he brought us waffles this morning and how he got peaches out of Sartori is beyond me. They weren't fresh, but the sentiment was there. I looked over his chart this morning and he hasn't had sex since our assignment to the Enterprise. I know Jim, he gets checked every time.   
Dammit, dammit, dammit, god-fucking hell, son of a shit-eating goddamn sonofabitch!!! Why me?!   
I'm bone tired. Exhaustion is affecting my brain and I'm hallucinating. It's the only explanation for why I can't stop thinking about him.    
  
He's at the hand sanitizer again. This is the third time in the last hour. He won't wear the respirator, but sanitizes his hands every fifteen minutes. The enigma that is Jim Kirk will never cease to amaze me - brilliant, but reckless and probably insane. Correction: He's definitely insane, not to mention lucky. In spite of the fact that the universe has tried to kill him at least a thousand times since we met, he just stands up and hits harder. How he's not sick yet is nothing short of...  
  
I am an idiot.   
  
I've been looking at the virus in the blood and mucous membranes because that's where the goddamned research is focused and I'd bet money these so-called pathologists never saw this thing outside of a lab. I'll have Christine beam over some additional culture plates so I can see what's growing on their hands, particularly around the areas where the rash develops. If I'm right, exanthema of the face and extremities occurs at the point of contact rather than as a result of the spread of the virus through the bloodstream.  
God help me, I think I love that man.  
  
\---

Dear Jo,

I've got a lot of work ahead of me tomorrow, but I think I've found what I'm looking for. I found the virus inside the normal bacteria that live on the skin and I have a theory that it's transmitted by contact, but I've got a few more things to test before I know for sure. I don't think I'd have figured it out unless we'd been talking about sanitizing your hands. Jim's been really good about it while we've been here, but he still won't wear the respirator.

I'm excited for you about Cerberus, we all are. I must admit that I've been a little bit selfish and want to keep you all to myself, but you're my pride and joy, sweetpea. There's no way I could hide that, even if Jim could keep his mouth shut. Even Spock is happy for you in his own way, though he'll never admit to it in a million years. Uhura says to tell you "Congratulations" and Nurse Chapel talks about you like you were her own. Maybe one day, you'll get to meet them all.

Quarantines are always tough and nobody's happy. They don't seem to understand that we need to contain the spread of the disease. If this gets to a colony that doesn't have as good medical facilities or sanitation, it could easily kill people who are immunocompromised in some way. That means that if their immune system doesn't work very well because they're sick or old or very young, something that's not deadly to healthy people like you and me might be to them. Some people don't understand that. They're only worried about what they want right now and I don't blame them for getting cabin fever, but if they'll just be patient, we'll treat the disease and they can go on with their lives in about a week or so.

Sorry to talk about work so much, darlin', I'm rambling because I'm tired. You keep me updated on how things are at home, okay? And let me know how that little Vulcan friend of yours is doing.

Love you, babydoll,  
-Daddy  
  
\---  
  
Dear Daddy,

Uncle Jim keeps saying that Savas is my boyfriend, but he ain't my boyfriend because I'm only nine and kissing boys is just gross. We're just friends. I might even say he's my <i>best</i> friend, but not my <i>boy</i>friend. You know what I mean, Daddy? It should be pretty easy to tell the difference between your best friend and your boyfriend. He's been a little stressed out lately because he wants to be a good Vulcan and still study about Earth, but his guardians don't understand him. He's going to do the kahs-wan. I don't know if you know what that is, but it means he's going to wander around in the wilderness to learn how to use his logic to survive. I don't think I could do that 'cause we have a different physiology and can't go as long without food and water as Vulcans can. Reverend Barrett said that Jesus wandered in the desert for 40 days, but first of all, I think that was a special case and second of all, there's probably been some exaggeration since then.

I think you and Uncle Jim can take care of things better than anybody in Starfleet. Mr. Phillips heard about you on the news feed and he was interested in the gory details. That's what he said, so you better believe I gave him the gory details. He went as green as a Vulcan when I started talking about weeping rashes and pus, but then he said you were doing some of the best work that Starfleet does.

Immunocompromised is like Grandpa was before he died, right? I remember he was sick for a long time.

You're a good doctor, Daddy, but don't forget to take care of your most important patient (and I don't mean Uncle Jim).

Love you, Daddy,  
\- Jo


	25. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's December, and that means Christmas, but both of them have more than that to anticipate.

Dear Jo,  
I am overwhelmed by the volume of information that relates to "Christmas." The greater majority of the traditions I have encountered in my research are a mystery to me and I do not understand the reason for them or how they relate to the holiday itself. It is quite confusing and I anticipate that Earth religions may occupy a large portion of my study. The celebration of mythological events is a fascinating aspect of human culture and I am eager to learn more about the many celebrations that occur at this time of the Earth year. I have many questions, but I reckon I shall begin my study by inquiring as to your traditions and practices. (I hope I have used the word correctly. I have gleaned from context that "reckon" is similar in usage to "suppose.") Do you have a "Christmas tree?" What is its function? What manner of ornamentation do you place upon it? What foods are commonly eaten at this time? Is "Santa Claus" a historical figure or mythical person? My research has been inconclusive on that matter. I have many more questions, but perhaps you can explain this to me in such a way that I may gain a clearer understanding.

I have nearly completed my re-evaluation of the _Major Tom_ series in anticipation of the fourteenth installment and have discovered that when Major Tom's affection for Betty is taken into account, his actions are far more understandable, if not quite logical. I have cataloged 1,503 separate failures of logic, including 418 actions that led to injury or capture and 805 incorrect assumptions. Of these, 57% could have been avoided by greater attention to Rubix and 88% were related to his affection for Betty. I am sending you my final list.

Sovess has arranged a time and place for my kahs-wan and he has agreed to allow me to schedule this when you are en route to Cerberus colony. There is a place here similar to Vulcan's Forge where there is very little water and the landscape is quite sparse. He tells me that I am the first of our people to undergo this test on this planet and that there is no shame in failure. But I will not fail. As you said before, I will only be there for ten days and the hardship will not be great. I was concerned that I had taken on a test of logic that exceeded my ability to control my emotions, but your words of encouragement have inspired me to proceed. For this, I am grateful.

As always, I anticipate your next letter.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Rf1-e1

\---

Dear Savas,

Well, I don't rightly know where to begin, so I reckon I'll start at the beginning. Mama and I always put up the tree after Thanksgiving. I told you about Thanksgiving already and I hope you liked Grandmama's cranberry relish. It was like pullin' teeth to get the recipe 'cause she didn't want to give up her secrets, but I told her that she ain't gonna live forever and when she's passed, somebody's gonna have to make it 'cause it's traditional. She figured that was logical, but that's not how she said it.

You did use "reckon" correctly as far as I can tell and I think you're doing a good job with my dialect. You're getting real good at it, but we've gotta work on contractions and stuff. They don't seem to come natural to you, but I reckon it just takes practice. See there? I coulda used "suppose," but I say "reckon" 'cause that's just how I say it.

So, anyway, Christmas. We've got lots of different kinds of ornaments on our tree, some of them are the shiny little balls like you always see, some I made in school, and some little tin ones that look like nutcrackers. There's all different colored lights and strings of silver colored beads and a star on top. The only purpose I can think for the tree is that we put presents under it. I don't know what it's supposed to be for except for decorating and putting presents under and I don't know what that's got to do with Jesus being born at all except that the wise men brought gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the baby Jesus. I don't think they had pine trees in Jerusalem, but I ain't never been, so I can't say for sure.

I don't know about Santa Claus, either. There's Saint Nicholas and there's Santa Claus and the first one is supposed to be a real person that lived and the second I'm pretty sure is make-believe.

Bill and Lenny weren't in class today 'cause it's the first day of Chanukah. I don't know much about Chanukah except that they light candles and there's something about oil that was only supposed to last for a day, but lasted for eight. They brought chocolate coins to class yesterday.

I see how you might be innerst- int-er-es-ted in all the different religions and stuff seein' as how there's a big diversity. Mr. Phillips talked about IDIC. He said it was a Vulcan thing about how diversity is a good thing and then we talked about how plants and animals and stuff couldn't evolve without variation in the DNA, so I went to the library and got Darwin's book about natural selection.

Thanks for the list. I haven't read through it yet because it's kinda crazy here. I've got tests to take in school and Gramma (Daddy's mama) wants me to come over and help decorate her tree and then I've got to get ready to go to Cerberus. I've only got a little more than two weeks to get ready and I don't know what I should bring with me.

You'll do great on your kahs-wan, I just know it. Like I said before, you've been through worse already and ten days ain't all that long anyway. Daddy says that Uncle Jim had to do survival training when they were in the Academy and that he was out in the wilderness for two whole weeks.

I'm losing this chess game pretty bad, so I'm thinking you must be starting to feel better.

Ll&p  
-Jo

Ke4-f5

\---  
  
Personal log  
December 15, 2259:

I'm counting the days, now. Ten days 'til Christmas, thirteen 'til I gotta go to San Francisco to get on a shuttle to get in a ship to go to Cerberus. It takes a week to get there and then I'll be there for six whole months without Mama. School's already out and it's getting harder and harder to find time to meditate any and besides, my brain's as busy as an anthill. Mr. Phillips said he'd see me off when it was time for me to go. His family's in Chicago and it's snowing there. He said he wanted to get out of the snow, but it's cold and raining and miserable here. At least snow is pretty. I don't even know what the climate is on Cerberus! Is it wintertime there? I guess I'd better pack a bunch of different things since I'll be there for half a year.

Lord, I hope I don't get homesick too bad. The last thing I want is to cry for my mama like a baby in front of the other kids. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm just some dumb cracker?

Miss Caryn told me today that Miss Marina ain't coming back from Betazed so I was stuck with her for the rest of forever. I don't mind that at all. I like her better anyway. For Christmas, she gave me a book of all the Mark Twain stories - a real paper book! She said she got to meet him once, but I think she's just telling me stories. I won't see her again 'til I get back, but she says I'll be okay.

I finished another chess game with Savas. It was a draw and he said that I didn't lose, but it sure felt like losing. I'm starting to get the hang of it, anyway. His kahs-wan is coming up the same time as I'm leaving Earth and I got to say that I'm a little bit worried about him. I ain't got a reason to be, he'll be fine, but I can't help but think about him being in the wilderness and not having enough to eat and maybe there's wild animals there that would try and eat him. Anyway, I'll be praying for him while I'm on the way to Cerberus. I'm sure he'll pass with flying colors, but maybe thinking about how he's doing will get my mind off of flying. I ain't ever been in a ship before and I'm real nervous about it. Daddy hates flying, but he says it's not too bad once you get used to it.

Mama asked me what I want for Christmas, but I other than the next Major Tom book and a Vulcan-English dictionary, all I want is my Daddy. Last Christmas I saw him was when I was little. I mean, I got to see him over video a few times since, but I haven't really seen him since he left mama and me. I reckon I'll send him a letter later.

\---

Personal Journal Entry  
Date: 15 December, 2259

Thirteen Earth-Standard days and eight hours until I begin my kahs-wan. There is little I can do in preparation aside from researching the flora and fauna of the desert regions of this planet. The area, simply called the eshikh ha-rau-nol*, is largely unexplored but I am told that the life-readings indicate that finding food and water will be difficult, but not impossible. There are one or two predatory species dangerous enough to kill, but I should be able to defend myself. I am not the most skilled of my age class in suss-mahn, but my ability is sufficient.

I have omitted information regarding the predatory animals of the area in my letters to Jo. She would be most distressed and excessively concerned for my well-being. She has "been worried about me" before and she tells me she is "nervous" about the trip and I do not wish to exacerbate any anxiety she may be feeling in regards to her first journey outside Earth's atmosphere.  
  
It is customary to give gifts at Christmas, a practice only loosely associated with the original purpose of the celebration. I am finding that many Christmas traditions have little to do with the birth of the- I do not know the appropriate title by which to refer to him and it is unclear to me whether he was a historical person or a mythical figure. I do not understand how myth and history can be so easily conflated, but perhaps it is somehow related to human emotions? There are many embellishments and exaggerations in the Major Tom series, which I had previously marked as illogical until Jo explained the usage of metaphor in the context of storytelling. If I understand her explanation correctly, embellishment does not render a statement untrue if that embellishment reflects an accurate depiction of emotion in response to events described. She put it more succinctly: _The author's exaggeratin' 'cause Major Tom feels so lonely._

I fail to understand how she can state complex concepts so simply. She is, at times, more efficient in her speech than I. Even when logic fails me and my emotions are uncontrolled, I do not understand them except in the most rudimentary sense, but her knowledge of the nuances of human emotion is impressive. If only I could study humans more closely, I feel I would gain a greater understanding.

I am requesting a modest allowance from Sovess so that I may obtain a gift for Jo. As much as they do not like my fascination with Earth culture, they do understand that she is my friend.

\---

[UNN News Feed: 24 December, 2259]  
>Sirius System Orion Choir album, "The Colors of Christmas" replaces "Don't Kiss the Blonde" at #6 on charts.  
>Philanthropist Carter Winston funds Cestus re-colonization project in conjunction with Gorn council.  
>YT-1250 class light freighter intercepted near Si'Klaata System. 5,000 kilos tropolisine confiscated and destroyed.  
>Soylent corporation engineers ration wafers. Federation Food Safety Commission has yet to give green light.

\---

Dear Savas,

I can't sleep. I never can on Christmas Eve. I still haven't figured out the encryption on the present you sent, but I've been working on it off and on since yesterday. I've about broken through the fifth firewall and should have the last one figured out tomorrow. I know you said you'd give me the last code in the morning, but I've almost got it. If I don't figure it out by tomorrow night, you send it to me, okay?

I'm sending your present now. I hope you like it.

Peace and long life,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I have received your gift and read it through several times. It is... interesting. The Grinch's ire is most illogical and I am attempting to ascertain how one might affix a horn to a dog's head using only thread. On page 20, there is something like a bicycle, but with three wheels. A tri-cycle, perhaps? It is addressed to "Jo-Jo." I thought of you.

The words are simple and I comprehend the sentences, but I struggle to understand the meaning of the story. It begins with a negative emotional reaction to the holiday. His course of action is to attempt to remove all evidence of Christmas, working under the assumption that doing so will eliminate the celebration. The plot indicates and it is clear to me that this is a false assumption and the Whos' celebration continues in spite of the lack of decoration and gifts. However, the author suggests that Christmas means "a little bit more," but it is never clearly explicated what this "more" might be.

I understand the metaphor of the growing heart, indicating the emotion of love? or kindness? I am not certain. I do not know the proper language to describe emotions. But there is a connection I have failed to make. Perhaps you can explain the story to me?

I have sent the encryption code to your gift and you may choose to open the file or not, according to your preference. I hope you enjoy it.

Merry Christmas,  
-Savas

*lit. "desert refugium"


	26. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo writes to her Daddy, there's a special present from Uncle Chris, and she and Savas prepare for their respective journeys. These Christmas moments brought to you by my very own southernness. Special thanks to kadollan and arcane_lark for the beta. Very special thanks to ceres_libera for allowing me to allude to her most wonderful slow torture that is called Switch. Read it. Love it.

Dear Jo,

I had a hard time thinking about what to get you for Christmas this year. You're growing up and old enough now to start learning how to take care of the horses, but since I can't be there to show you, I got you something else. I hope you like it.

I did my best to get permission for a video feed, but I won't be back in the rotation 'til February. I miss you, Sweetpea. I want to be there and watch you unwrap your presents and have turkey at Gram's with all the cousins. Lord, I even miss the part where Kathy locks herself in the bathroom every year and your Great Uncle Eli's story about the trout and the bear. I have this picture of us at the big house at Christmastime. You're three and wearing this red and black dress and Gram is helping you unwrap something. I think it was a dress. I remember that you had more dresses than you could wear. Is that still true? You're a bit like your mama and not prone to dress-wearing, so I never understood why your Grandmama got you so many.

I'm sure Santa will be good to you this year, in spite of the Campbell girl's bloody lip last summer. I'm sending you a couple pictures of Mr. Chekov and Uncle Jim lighting the menorah. They're arguing about food in second picture. They agreed on latkes, but Chekov wanted blini and Jim wanted pancakes. In the third picture, Uhura is explaining that they really wanted the same thing, which is why Jim is laughing. I think that's my favorite one.

Merry Christmas, darlin'.  
I love you,  
-Daddy

\---

Dear Daddy,

Guess what! I got a kids' science book from Savas for Christmas! I can't read it yet because it's in Vulcan, but I will soon. Uncle Jim got me magnetic Vulcan words and I can touch my pen to them and it tells me on my notebook what they mean in English. I'm taking them with me. Thank you so much for the new dermal regenerator and I like the bag and stuff it came with. You're the best daddy ever!

You know what else? Uncle Chris and Aunt Vina came over for a couple hours. Aunt Vina brought me some candy in a little wooden shoe and a cake that she called a buche de noel. Noel means Christmas, but I don't know about the rest of it. It was good, though. Uncle Chris got me priority 2 subspace authorization. That means that tomorrow, we can see each other on video!

Don't worry, Daddy, you didn't miss a thing at the big house. Little Eli brought a great big ol' turkey that he shot and Gram about served his head for dinner for leaving feathers all over the back porch. I didn't know Gram could cuss like that. Anyway, she made some kind of egg thing with greens in for me since I'm vegetarian and all. Cousin Mike came down from Nashville and his boyfriend's vegetarian, too. He was real nice.

After, Gram took me to the stables to give me my real present. Well, it ain't got here yet, but she says that Sundance is due to have her baby in August. I saw your horse there, Daddy and he was the sweetest thing. He sniffed at me and I gave him an apple and Gram let me ride him. Saturn was much nicer than Peter's dumb ol' bitey horses.

I liked the pictures you sent, but you should send me some pictures of you and Uncle Jim.

Merry Christmas, Daddy! See you tomorrow!  
Love,  
-Jo

\---

[Automatically transcribed and logged on 26.12.2259 18:31 FST]  
Incoming message  
To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
26.12.2259 18:01 FST  
[Voice Authorization required]

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Voice Authorization McCoy, Leonard H. *****-*****-*****-*****-*****

[Voice Authorization confirmed]

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Hi, Daddy!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Hey, Jo-baby! Sounds like you had a good Christmas.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Except for you not being here.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: You don't pull your punches, do you, darlin'?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: No, sir, I don't. I ain't mad, though, it just stinks.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Yeah, it does... So, what else did you get for Christmas?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Grandmama got me three dresses I ain't never gonna wear in a million years. Two of 'em are _pink_. Unnatural pink! The other one's lime green and it's got frills all over it. Mama says I don't have to wear them if I don't wanna.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Heheh... What did your mama get you?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: New bike, a Vulcan-English dictionary, and _Major Tom and the Dilithium Dilemma_. I'm gonna get Savas a copy so we can read it together.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Doesn't he have his whatsit soon?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: _kahs-wan_ , Daddy. He starts day after tomorrow, same day I leave. He'll be nearly done by the time I get to Cerberus, but I can't help but be worried about him, even though it ain't logical.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I'm sure he'll be alright. Vulcans are a resilient people. How 'bout you, babydoll? You gonna be okay? That's a helluva long trip and it being your first time off-planet...

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Daddy, I'll be _fine_.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: I know, I know. I just worry 'cause you're my favorite daughter.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I'm your _only_ daughter! And I'll be alright anyway. You know that more people die of drowning than in spaceships? I'm more in danger of dying of a heart attack than I am of getting sucked out into space. Don't make that face, Daddy. I looked up the stasstis- stsastisk- stsasti- Dammit!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Joanna Rose!

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Sorry, Daddy. I looked up the numbers on it anyway. I went to see Saturn again today. I think he's gonna be sad I'm gone. I mean, I only just met him, but he's the sweetest ol' thing.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: My Saturn? Black horse, white blaze on the forelock, the one Grampa Ted calls "The Devil's own mount?"

[McCoy, Joanna R.] I don't know why Grampa Ted calls him that, but I went over there and told him - Saturn, that is, not Grampa Ted. He's a mean ol' cuss. Anyway, I told Saturn that I'd have to go soon and I wouldn't see him for a while. You should have seen his face, Daddy. I don't think that horse wanted me to go.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Well, I'll be damned.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: You know what else? Gram showed me how to knit. I'm making you a cotton washrag for when you get blood and stuff on you. See? I only got a couple rows, but it's red for human blood and green for Vulcan blood. She says knitting's good for anxiety and that it makes you smarter.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Your Gram is right. It's also good for developing fine motor skills. I was four when she taught me and I haven't picked it up in a good long while, but it's helped me be a good surgeon.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: You knit?

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Yes, ma'am.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Well, I guess I'd better get real good at it, then, 'cause I'm thinking I might be a neurosurgeon when I grow up. That's what I gotta be to fix Uncle Chris's legs and there's a whole bunch of neurological disorders that ain't been cured yet, like Irumodic syndrome and there's more books on Vulcan neurology than I could read in my whole life!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Maybe I should have got you a subscription to the _Journal of Comparative Neurology_ for Christmas.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Naw, I like my doctor bag. I'm taking it with me to put my knitting in.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: That's a reproduction from the very first Starfleet field medkits. There should have been a first aid kit in there, too.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: It's in there. I'm taking it with me. There's even a little tricorder in it, see? I bet it ain't as fancy as yours is, but I reckon it'll come in handy 'til I can get me a nicer one.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Well, here's hoping you don't need it, babydoll.

[Cpt. Kirk, James T.] JO! Hey, there, kiddo!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Jesus, Jim, you scared the living daylights outta me!

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Holy crap, Uncle Jim, you scared the living daylights outta me!

[Cpt. Kirk, James T.] Sorry about that.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Ew! And would you not kiss Daddy in front of me!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Christ, Jim, not in front of my kid!

[Cpt. Kirk, James T.]: In stereo, no less. Hey, Jo-monster, don't forget: Boldly go-

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Where no Mini-Bones has gone before! And don't you forget to take good care of my daddy.

[Cpt. Kirk, James T.]: Aye-aye, Queen Jo! Adios, chica!

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Bye, Uncle Jim!

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: It looks like our time is about up, Jo-baby.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Yeah... Daddy?

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Yes, darlin'?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Is Uncle Jim gone?

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: He is. Is there something troubling you?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Don't tell Uncle Jim, but I'm worried about going to Cerberus - not the getting there, but the _being_ there. What if they think I'm just some ignorant cracker? What I can't learn Vulcan at all? What if-

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Sugar, you've got an acute case of the "what-ifs," and there ain't a medicine in the world that can cure it except your own good sense. You're a tough-as-nails mule-headed McCoy and a smart one to boot. I dare say you're smarter than I was at that age, so I don't want to hear any more of this "ignorant cracker" business. You think that Campbell girl could do what you're doing?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: No, sir.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Damn straight. Ain't nothing in this universe you can't handle. If you fall off a horse, you get right back on and if you get knocked down, you stand up and hit harder, is that understood Joanna Rose?

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Yes, sir.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Good. Looks like it's time to go, sweetpea. I love you so much and tell Gram hello for me.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: I will. Maybe next Christmas, Uncle Chris will give you shore leave on Earth and I can see you for real.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Maybe. Love you, darlin'. Be good, mind your mama, and don't stay up too late reading.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: -and don't stay up too late reading. I know, Daddy. Love you.

[CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.]: Love you, too. Bye-bye.

[McCoy, Joanna R.]: Bye-bye, Daddy!

[End Transmission]

\---

Dear Savas,

I went to Gram's house (that's Daddy's grandma) for Christmas day and all my cousins and stuff were there. Kathy locked herself in the bathroom and cried like she does every year and Uncle Eli told the story about the bear and the trout. See, he was trout fishin' in Canada and there was this big ol' bear that got his whole catch. He tells it better'n I do and it's funny the first hundred thousand times you hear it. You've _got_ to come down here for Christmas some time. I can't rightly explain everything, you just gotta be there to know what it's like.

I got a Vulcan-English dictionary and a bike from Mama and I got refrigerator magnets with Vulcan words on from Uncle Jim and Daddy got me a doctor bag with a new dermal regenerator and a first aid kit in it with a little tricorder. Uncle Chris got me video time with Daddy, so I got to talk to him and see him yesterday and that was much better than the pony Gram is giving me when it's born next August. In the end, I had to open the code you sent me, but I love my present and wanted to tell you thank you. Maybe by the end of my six months, I'll be able to read it. Now, I'm just looking at the pictures. What did the encryption code say anyway? I couldn't figure it out.

Well, I guess this is it. I'm gonna be on a ship for a week and you're gonna be out in the wilderness. I'll send you comms from school and I guess we can start another game when you're all recovered from your kahs-wan. Be safe, okay?

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I would be honored to one day join you and your extended family in a Christmas celebration on Earth and I believe you are correct in your statement to the effect that one must experience the event to gain full understanding. I believe this is the case with the kahs-wan. I have researched the matter thoroughly and I understand what is being asked of me, but research is no substitute for experience.

It is good that your family and friends are supportive of your interests and I am pleased to be counted amongst those friends. The book is somewhat simplistic and, I believe, beneath your level of comprehension, but since it is written in Vulcan, it may provide a useful starting-point for reading and understanding the written Vulcan language.

I have located a number of books by the same author as _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ and they are... intriguing. I do not have time to discuss them with you, but I believe that _Green Eggs and Ham_ shows the teachings of Surak quite well. I am reminded of an old Vulcan saying, transliterated as follows:

 _Eik-veshtaya to'ovau kau - lu veshtaya ri glazhau goh na'kastorilaya t'kashan._

It means, "Wide experience increases wisdom, provided the experience is not sought purely for the stimulation of sensation." The encryption was another common saying and, like the previous one, is attributed to Surak:

_Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on_

In English, this is translated as, "We have differences. May we, together, become greater than the sum of both of us." It is not exactly right. There is no precise translation that conveys the entire meaning of the phrase, but the idea is essentially the same.

Do not be concerned for my safety, all will be well. Your kind words these past few weeks have instilled me with confidence that I will come through the kahs-wan without complication. I bid you good journeys, Joanna and I shall write to you again when I return. I am certain you will win our next game.

Live long and Prosper,  
-Savas

\---  
  
To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
27.12.2259 10:55FST

Jim,  
Just got word from Jocelyn that Jo's traveling on the Merchant Ship Sicilian. It was like pulling teeth from a damned grizzly bear to get information from her. I'm worried, Jim. That boat's more than fifty years old- it's unsafe. Not only that, but the specs on their shields are horrific. Tell me they've got an escort. Lie if you have to.  
-Bones

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
27.12.2259 11:13FST

Bones-

The Sicilian's a good ship. The captain's a guy named Roberts - used to be a pirate, but the sucker fell in love and settled down. Anyway, he's a good man and I'm sure he'll take good care of your baby girl. You worry too much. You know what they say, never get involved in a land war in Asia and never go against the Sicilian when death is on the line. (I'm kidding, of course, Bones. There will be no death. Jo will be fine.)  
Hey, it's Sunday - spaghetti western night? I've got just the thing to ease your mind. It involves spiced Andorian warming massage oil and a full bottle of Saurian brandy. Don't even try to resist. Your futile efforts will avail you not.  
-Captain Schmoopyface

\---

[UNN News Feed: 28 December, 2259]  
>Soylent corporation denied contract for failure to disclose ration wafer protein source.  
>Coridians join Federation after months of talks. President Mintaine credits Cpt. Kirk for initial success in negotiations.  
>Dylan labs confirm pump failure due to vandalism.  
>Man bites shark. Biologist claims, "He had it coming."


	27. Personal Log

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo goes to Cerberus colony. It's a bit of a rough trip, but nothing a McCoy can't handle.

Personal Log  
December 29, 2259:

This is probably the dumbest thing to say ever, but space is really really big. I mean, I knew it was big, but I didn't _know_ just how big it was. I feel like a tiny little ant and now I know why it scares Daddy so much. I'm trying not to think about it. I've been going from one place to another and haven't had time to sit and write at all and I can't send letters from here, so I'll just have to keep up my log and then write to everybody when I get to Cerberus.

I freaked out on the shuttle. I hyperventilated and thought for sure I was gonna vomit on the girl next to me. Then I remembered what Gram said about knitting and anxiety and I settled down pretty quick after I started working on it. I'm about five centimeters into it, but the way things are going, I'm gonna need more yarn by next week. I should say that Gram sent a whole bunch of cotton with me for making washrags.

There's maybe forty of us going to Cerberus and they're all older than me. Most of them are in high school. We all met each other at lunch today and at first they thought I was in the wrong place and this one girl tried to help me find my parents. I tried to explain, but she didn't believe me until one of the teachers came up and introduced me. He said I was the youngest in the program. Great. Everybody's gonna treat me like a baby. Well, I ain't a baby.

My roommate is the same girl I almost threw up on. I don't know if I like her or not. Her name is Rachel. She's from New York. I swear, if I don't get some time to meditate, I'm gonna punch someone in the face and it might be her. Who the hell had the bright idea to put me in a room with a damn Yankee?

Tomorrow, we're supposed to break up into classes and do some kind of test. I don't even know what it's for.

I've got my word magnets next to my bed and I sorted out which ones are numbers and which ones are nouns and which ones are verbs and I have a whole pile I don't know what are. It took me two hours to do, but I couldn't sleep last night. I can feel the ship moving and it wakes me up every few minutes. I can't be having this. I gotta sleep or after a while, I'm gonna start hallucinating!

\---

Personal Log  
December 30, 2259

I slept a little bit last night, but not enough. Rachel snores. She's not loud, but I tried to meditate after she went to sleep and all I could think about was her snoring. I miss my room and my bed.

The test we took was a placement test to see where to put us when we get there. The questions were real hard and I'm pretty sure they're going to put me in the very bottom class of dumb people 'cause I did so lousy - or worse, take me back home.

Rachel asked me if I wanted some tea 'cause I looked tired and she gave me hot tea. I wanted iced tea to wake me up a little bit, but she gave me hot. I drank it anyway 'cause my mama raised me right. It was alright, it had honey in it, but it wasn't Mama's iced tea. Anyway, half the time, I don't understand what Rachel says 'cause she talks too fast. She probably thinks I'm stupid because I always ask her to repeat what she says.

Maybe I'll sleep better tonight.

\---

Personal Log  
January 1, 2260

Happy stupid new year. We had a New Year's party but I fell asleep in the middle of it. Just great. You know where I woke up? Sickbay. Apparently Rachel said something about me not sleeping. She's not so bad, I guess. Doctor Sarah gave me a mild sedative to take and I wish I could ask Daddy or Dr. Sanders about it. I don't even know if this is approved for pediatric use. I was too tired to ask.

\---

Personal Log  
January 2, 2260

Tryptophan. It's an amino acid that's part of the seratonin and melatonin molecules. Dr. Sarah and I got to talking and she explained it to me. It's real simple. Things like eggs and sesame seeds and soybeans have tryptophan in them and when you eat those things, your body uses it to make seratonin and melatonin and seratonin makes you feel good and melatonin helps keep your circadian rhythm going like it ought to so you can sleep at night. She showed me pictures of the molecules and binding sites in the brain and everything. Rachel had to come get me for the lecture we were supposed to go to. We learned all about Cerberus College and the Language Immersion Program. L.I.P. - like lips. It's a joke, get it?

...yeah, it's kind of a dumb joke.

I wonder how Savas is doing. It's been five days already, so that's halfway.

We find out tomorrow what our placement is going to be.

The food ain't great here, but at least nobody thinks I'm weird for being vegetarian. I miss Mama's cooking. I _really_ miss Gram's cooking. I didn't have any black-eyed peas for New Years. I forgot. I never did much like them, but you're supposed to have them on New Years. I guess I could have some now - it couldn't hurt. No ham in them, though.

I should remember to tell Savas about black-eyed peas on New Years. He'll like that.

\---

Personal Log  
January 3, 2260

Rachel and I got a hold of some black-eyed peas and we had some. She didn't like them much, either. I told her I had a hard time understanding her 'cause she talks so fast and I ain't used to hearing people talk that fast. I reckon she can't help it any more than I can help how I sound. She's sixteen and wants to join Starfleet and do stuff with communications like Miss Uhura. I ain't ever talked to Miss Uhura more than to say "hi" when she connects a video feed and I ain't ever seen her face, but she sounds pretty. I bet she's nice.

Anyway, we got our placement today and come to find out, I'm in the advanced class! Rachel's in the same class as me and even though she's a Yankee, I think we'll be pretty good friends. I don't reckon I ought to not like somebody because of where they're from - IDIC, like Mr. Phillips said. He's from Chicago and I like him alright. He said that a real long time ago people used to be separated from each other by skin color and that back then, he wouldn't have been able to be our teacher because his skin is brown and there were different bathrooms for brown people and for peachy-pink people like me. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of. I've seen all kinds of people- blue, green, brown, pink, grey. If everybody had to have a different bathroom for what color they were, there would be nothing but bathrooms.

\---

Personal Log  
January 4, 2260

Dr. Sarah came by my room after dinner to make sure I was gonna sleep okay. I sure hope so. I reckon I'll sleep better once I'm on solid ground. Rachel and I are gonna have some hot chamomile tea with honey and meditate together before lights out. She's never done it before, so I'll have to tell her how. I hope I don't mess it up. She says she'll teach me how to play tennis. I've never played tennis before.

We're supposed to get there tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous. We'll have a day or so to get settled and get used to being on the planet and then we start classes. Mr. Cunningham (that's one of the teachers) says we'll have classes on logic, history, and culture and by the end of it, we'll know as much about Vulcans as an ambassador! I could just bust! I'm glad Rachel's in my class. I'll have to ask if she plays chess. I miss playing with Savas. I sure hope he's alright out there.


	28. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo finally gets to Cerberus and is settling in. What is that smell?

Dear Mama,

I'm on Cerberus and only about half unpacked. It's nice here, but it smells weird. I don't know how to explain it, but it smells different. There's green plants and a yellow sun like Earth and my room is real nice. I have to share it, but I like my roommate. She's from New York, but she ain't rude at all. Her name is Rachel. She's in high school and plays tennis and has a boyfriend named Julio. Most of the kids here are in high school, so I hope I can keep up. They put me in the advanced class!

The ship was alright, but I had trouble sleeping. It's like I could feel it moving and I kept waking up. I think I got a handle on it now, though. Dr. Sarah gave me some tryptophan and I made her explain it to me before I took any of it.

We don't start our classes until day after tomorrow so we can get used to being on the planet. It feels like March already and not January at all. It's messing me up. It's pretty here, though, Mama. There are flowers outside my window and I don't know what kind they are, but they're purple and pink and red. I don't think they're from Earth.

I'd better go. I've got a million people to write to and it's getting late. I miss you and Gram and everybody. If you see Mr. Phillips, tell him I said hi and that it was nice of him to see me off. Tell Gram that the knitting came in handy. I'll write again as soon as I can.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Daddy,

It's my first day on a whole other planet and it's really weird. It smells different and there's weird flowers here and it feels like March instead of January, but it's pretty and everyone is nice and I think I could get used to it. It's only six months, anyway.  
I almost vomited on the shuttle up from Earth and I had trouble sleeping on the ship because I could feel it moving under me, but Dr. Sarah gave me some tryptophan to take and she explained it to me. She showed me the binding sites in the brain and everything. I definitely want to be a neurosurgeon. She showed me a bunch of pictures of brains and it was the coolest thing ever! It looks like a bunch of little grey worms in a ball until you look real close and then there's all kinds of neat stuff inside. I reckon you know all about that, though. Dr. Sarah said you're really good at fixing neurons and that she read your paper on it. Why do they call it a paper anyway? Did they used to be on paper? Anyway, she gave me a solution of _Zingiber_ extract and sucrose with dissolved carbon dioxide to calm the pyloric valve during our shuttle ride to Cerberus. That means she gave me some ginger ale so I wouldn't throw up. I wrote all that down so I'd remember.

Space is really, really big, Daddy, and I know why it might be scary. The day I went up in the shuttle to the ship, I could see the whole Earth and I couldn't even tell where home was. I mean, I kinda knew, but I couldn't see where our house was. I felt tiny like a little ant that was lost and didn't know the way back home. It's still weird, though 'cause I can't get my head around how far away home is.

Anyway, happy New Year!

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

 ** **I went.****  
In case you don't get it, that was a joke. I told my roommate, Rachel (she's from New York) that you said to "boldly go where no Mini-bones has gone before," so she said I should tell you "I went" in bold type. We laughed for ten whole minutes. She's got a picture of you. It's from a magazine and it says "Sexiest Man Alive" on it in big letters and you're kinda looking up at the sky. I don't think you look that goofy in real life, but I still say your fancy uniform looks like a dress. Anyway, she was real excited when she found out Daddy is on the Enterprise and she asked if I knew you and I said I did. She says to tell you "hi." She also says you're Captain Hottie of the U.S.S. Fabulous and that Chekov and Sulu should totally get together.

When I grow up, I'm going to be a ship's doctor just like Daddy and a neurosurgeon, too. Brains are about the coolest things ever.

You've been on a lot of different planets, so I wonder if you noticed whether they smell different? It kinda smells like a bathroom that ain't been cleaned, but not bad like farts. It's just kind of barely there like I almost don't smell it except that I do smell it.

I got your magnets up in our room and we're going to use them to study with. She's going to teach me how to play tennis and it'll be like the longest sleepover ever. I might even get my nails painted. Don't tell Daddy, though. I don't reckon he'd like it much. Definitely don't tell him that Rachel said she'd show me how to put makeup on. I ain't gonna wear it out anywhere, just in my room, but Daddy might freak out.

I hope you got some ice cream for your birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Uncle Jim!

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Uncle Chris,

I'm here on Cerberus and the trip was pretty good. I didn't throw up or anything. Gram showed me how to knit and that helped me not to be so nervous. I bet that would help if you had cadets like Daddy who are afraid of flying. Anyway, I said I'd write when I got here and I wanted to tell you thank you for helping me get a scholarship. Tell Aunt Vina I said "hi," I mean, "bonjour," and that I can't wait to try whatever she's cooking up for me. I hope there's cake for breakfast.  
I reckon when I get done here, I'll be pretty good at speaking the Vulcan language and next time we have dinner with Miss T'Pau, I can talk to her in Vulcan. I think that'd be nice.

Love,  
Jo

\---

Dear Savas,

I know you ain't back yet, but I wanted to make sure you had a message waiting for you from me so you'd know how to find me when you do get back. I had a good trip, I guess, but I miss your letters. I miss everybody. My roommate is real nice. I showed her how to meditate. She didn't know how, so I showed her as best as I could and we've been meditating together for maybe three days. I'm nervous about being away from home, but meditating helps some. I can't wait to hear how your kahs-wan went.

Anyway, I think I'm going to have some interest-  
Hunh.  
Interesting.  
Well, I'll be damned!  
Interesting, interesting, interesting.

You see that, Savas? I said it like I usually do and this thing wrote it out right! Ain't that just the best thing ever? Oh! Look at this! Here in the corner of the screen it says, "Regional Dialect: Earth, North America, Central Georgia." I didn't know a computer could do that!

Oh, yeah, Savas, I'm going to love it here.

Live long and Prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Baby, I miss you already and I worry about you every day. Hippocrates keeps looking for you and he's been sleeping in your bed. He howled all night the first night you were gone. The house is much too quiet without you, but I'm so proud.

Rachel sounds nice. I hope you two get along alright. You'll have started your classes by the time you get this, so tell me all about how they went. I hope it's not too much for you. Your Gram was bragging about you in church the other day and I believe that was the first time I ever saw Julia Higgins speechless. I know it ain't right, but I took a little pleasure in that. I'm about tired of hearing about her nephew the big city lawyer.

Miss Johnson asked after you and I told her that you seemed to be doing alright. I ended up talking to her for what must have been a couple hours over coffee. She seems to think you'll be okay, that you're in your element. I'm inclined to believe her and I did feel much better about you being off-planet without me after talking to her, but I'm still your mama and it's my job to worry about you.

I also talked to Mr. Phillips yesterday. School starts back tomorrow and he said he'd miss having you in class and that he's a little bit jealous.

Take care of yourself, sweetheart. I love you and I miss you so much.

Love,  
-Mama

\---

Dear Jo,

I'm so proud of you, Jo-baby. The last thing I wanted to do was transfer my phobias to you, but you seem to be handling it much better than I would have at your age. Ginger ale is definitely the thing to drink on a shuttle ride if you think you might vomit and Dr. Sarah sounds like she knows her stuff. Neurology is a good field to go into, but don't settle on a specialty just yet. You might change your mind and decide you want to study something else entirely. But you're right, the brain is one of the most mysterious and delicate organs of the body and even now, there's a lot about them that we don't know. Vulcan brains are particularly complex.

Most days, I try not to think about how big space is, but I feel better about being on a ship with your Uncle Jim. I guess that's why I snuck him onto the Enterprise in the first place.

Let me know how your classes are going.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Queen Jo returns!

How's it going, kiddo? I'm glad you're getting some use out of your word magnets. They looked like the kind of thing you'd like.

Your roommate sounds great. I mean, she's got great taste in starship captains, anyway, and she's funny. "Captain Hottie of the USS Fabulous," huh? I'm filing the serial numbers off of that one and claiming it as my own. You should keep her around. Tell her that Chekov and Sulu are totally together and they're officially boyfriends now. It's the best thing ever - aside from me and your dad, that is. I won't tell you about any kissing parts, but it's pretty righteous. In fact, we spent some time together on my birthday and even though I didn't get any ice cream (a grievous oversight, I feel), we had fun.

I promise I won't tell about the nail polish and makeup. He would freak out. In fact, he's already freaking out a little because the planet's subspace array isn't as good as Earth's. I told him that it meets Federation minimum standards and it's fine. It just means communications are a little slower. So, if it takes a couple days for messages to show up, that's why. It's nothing to worry about.

I thoroughly approve of neurosurgery. In fact, maybe you'll come up with a technique for reattaching someone's brain. I can think of a few admirals that would benefit from that.

Anyway, from now on, I'm going to remember to get a good whiff of each planet as I go. I'm usually not thinking about how they smell, but now I'm going to have to sniff them every time. Do you want me to sniff starbases while I'm at it? Because I would do that for you.

Maybe you can teach me how to speak Vulcan. I only know Spanish, Andorian, Latin, and some conversational Orion. Lately, I wish I knew some Russian.

_\\\// <\--Vulcan salute

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Savas,

Today's the day you're supposed to be back. I hope everything went okay. You're probably resting up, so give me a holler when you feel up to it. Today I learned how to say "hi." Tonk'peh, Savas. Mostly we're learning the alphabet and how to write the letters. I'm having some trouble with it, but I reckon I just got to practice.

Well, anyway, you rest up and send me a message when you can. You need your rest.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

[UNN News Feed: 10 January, 2260]

>Elderly man brutally murdered. Killer confesses: "It is the beating of his hideous heart!"  
>Special session of Coruscant senate to be held this week. Chancellor says, "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."  
>Agrabah grand vizier indicted on charges of treason and conspiracy. "I blame the parrot." Parrot unavailable for comment.  
>Taranko colony attacked. Investigation underway. "There's no evidence the Klingons have breached the treaty," states Ambassador Kolker.

\---

Cadet Jo,

I apologize for taking so long to respond to your letter. I haven't forgotten about you, I've just been off planet for a few days. Being an admiral is a lot of responsibility and if it weren't for Vina, I'd forget to eat. She can't wait for you to stay with us this summer and she says there will absolutely be cake for breakfast.

I was just talking about you with our friend, T'Pau. She asked me to tell you that she finds your course of study admirable. We are beginning to make arrangements for next year's summer program and I asked her if your friend Savas would be able to join us. I am told that he is the first of his people to undergo the kahs-wan on New Vulcan, but it seems he is late in coming home. While she assures me that everything is being done to locate him, there are no guarantees. I will keep you informed.

The important thing now is for you to focus on your studies. We need bright young cadets like you and if your father is any indication, you'll excel at any task you put your mind to.

Be safe out there,  
-Uncle Chris


	29. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo is worried about Savas and, being in the back forty of the Federation, can't do anything about it. She is none too pleased about this.

Dear Uncle Chris,

What do you mean he's late coming home? Why can't they find him? Why don't they know where he is? I'm going crazy over here worrying about him! And I'm mad as a hornet, too! I tried to do like you said and focus on my studies, but my friend is out there and if I was bigger, I'd get a ship and go get him myself, even if I had to steal the goddamn Enterprise to do it! My teachers found out, so we talked about the kahs-wan in our Culture and Customs hour (which is really three hours). Kids have _died_ during kahs-wan before! Goddammit, why would they send a kid out into the wilderness with nothing? That's the most illogical damn thing I've ever heard of. He's only ten!

It's probably my fault for telling him it was a good idea. I'm sorry for cussing so much, Uncle Chris, I'm just real upset. I'm going to try and meditate to see if I can't think about this logically. Rachel brought me tea from the cafeteria, so I got to go before it gets cold.

You send me a message the second you find out something, you hear?

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Cadet Jo,

You should know that theft of a Federation starship is a court-martial offense. I don't recommend it.

Savas is what we call "Missing in Action." I understand that you're upset, that's normal, but MiA means just that, missing. I could name a number of different scenarios where someone might go missing, but ultimately, we won't know what's happened until we find him. It means there's hope.

I cannot attest to whether the kahs-wan is logical or illogical, but it is part of his culture, part of what makes him Vulcan. T'Pau is keeping me abreast of the situation and she tells me they've narrowed their search to a mountain range on the border of the desert preserve. You may not remember this, but I'm from the desert and if I were him, I'd have gone toward the mountains to look for water and shelter. It's likely he's found both and is holed up somewhere.

I recommend you ask Captain Kirk about his survival training. Every cadet has to go through some kind of survival or emergency training and from my understanding of the kahs-wan, it serves a similar purpose. I can't promise you that Savas will be okay, but there is a good chance he's survived.

Be safe out there,  
-Uncle Chris

\---

To: Adm. Pike, C.  
From: Adm. Archer, J.  
12.1.2260 09:13FST

Pike:  
Your request to divert the USS Hermes to New Vulcan has been denied. Dammit, Pike, we've got too few resources for this shit and with the Klingons getting bolder, we've got to keep whatever we can spare near the Neutral Zone to protect Federation border colonies. Millions of lives are at stake here. We lost a lot of men and a lot of ships and we're spread too thin as it is. We've got to have the Hermes where it is.  
-Adm. Archer

\---

To: Adm. Archer, J.  
From: Adm. Pike, C.  
12.1.2260 09:31FST

Admiral,  
With all due respect, sir, it is our responsibility and duty to come to the aid of members of the Federation when it is in our power to do so. We can't be gun-shy because of our losses during the Nero Crisis and I need not remind you that where we lost thousands, they lost billions. Diverting the Hermes costs us little in time and resources and the payoff will be far greater than the life of one little boy. Her sensors are far better than anything the Vulcans have right now and they can arrive at New Vulcan within five hours at warp six. The area of space being surveyed by the Hermes is unlikely to be threatened by the Klingons and we can spare them for a couple of days.  
-Pike

\---

To: Adm. Pike, C.  
From: Adm. Archer, J.  
12.1.2260 15:58FST

Pike:  
I talked it over with Comsol and Barnett and I'm giving you the go-ahead. You're a persuasive man, Pike, but don't let it go to your head. Federation starships are not yours to do with as you please.  
-Archer

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Classes are fine, but Savas is missing. He should have been home a week ago, but nobody knows where he is. They're looking for him in the mountains. Uncle Chris says he's probably holed up there and that I should ask you about your survival training. I'm real worried about him. He's only a year older than I am and I don't think I'd last a day out there, let alone almost three weeks. Uncle Chris also says that Starfleet calls it MiA. That means Missing in Action. Has anyone on the Enterprise ever been MiA?

I'm doing my best to keep studying and stuff because it ain't logical to spend a lot of time and energy being upset when there's nothing I can do. I'm still upset, but Rachel and I are meditating every day and that's helping a little. I wish it was raining instead of sunny 'cause that's the kind of mood I'm in. I'd cuss the sun for shining if I thought it'd do any good.

I feel like shit 'cause I told him it was a good idea to go.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Hey, kiddo,

I'm sorry to hear about your friend and if I were you, I'd probably be going crazy about now. The only thing you can do is hope for his safe return. It's crap having to wait and not be able to do anything, but I'll see if there's something I can do to help. Maybe a ship's sensors will have better luck. We've had more MiAs than I care to think about and sometimes the MiA has been me. Stuff just happens sometimes, but the unofficial Enterprise policy is that no body=not dead. We keep searching until we've found our person and we never, never leave anyone behind. I know how you feel about telling him to go into a potentially dangerous situation. I do that every day with my crew and as much as we try to keep everyone safe, sometimes people don't come back. I hate it.

But I don't want you to give up hope, not ever. I'm guessing the Admiral wanted you to ask me about my survival training because I did mine in the desert. I spent two weeks in the Sahara without anything but the clothes I was wearing and my brain. It's not that different from the kahs-wan, really, and Vulcans are much better at desert survival than we are. When they found me, I was malnourished, dehydrated, and had the worst sunburn in the history of sunburns, but I was alive. Come to think of it, I remember being a little bit late myself.

If there's anything I can do to help, anything at all, I'll do it.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral,  
Request permission to re-route to New Vulcan for a rescue mission. Our sensors are much better than anything the Vulcans have got and it'll take us minutes to find him. You can spare the Enterprise for a day. That's all I need.  
-Kirk

[End Transmission]

\---

[Official Transmission: Starfleet Command]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Jim,  
Request to divert to New Vulcan denied. We need you where you are. You're to hold the line and protect the border colonies until Command says otherwise. We've sent the Hermes. Captain Nomius can handle this and I'll make sure she keeps you in the loop.

Be safe out there,  
-Pike

[End Transmission]

\---

[Official Transmission: Starfleet Command]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Captain Nomius,  
I just got word from T'Pau, she's very grateful for your assistance, as am I. This mission is important to me on a personal level and I trust you and your crew will perform admirably as usual. Keep the Enterprise in the loop on mission updates. I want you to talk to Kirk directly, so don't just send a text comm.

Be safe out there,  
-Pike

[End Transmission]

\---

[UNN News Feed: 15 January, 2260]  
>Pangolin triplets born at San Diego Zoo. "Bubbo, Squiddy, Pranada, and their mom are all in good health," states zookeeper.  
>USS Enterprise sent to protect colonies near Klingon Neutral Zone border. President Mintaine: "I have the utmost confidence in her captain and crew."  
>New family of flowering plants named for its collector. Suluaceae utilizes cyanoplasts for photosynthesis, similar to chloroplasts in Earth plants.  
>Galactic travel guide publication postponed, "Don't Panic," says editor D. Adams.

\---

[Official Transmission: USS Hermes NCC-585]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral Pike,

We found him. He's in our sickbay now and we will be returning him to his guardians within twenty-four hours. His health is remarkably good, considering, and he is requesting - you're not going to believe this - macaroni and cheese. This kid has got quite a story to tell, Admiral, and if he weren't a Vulcan, I wouldn't believe it. We sent visual confirmation of the rescue to Kirk. If I may be so bold, sir, who is Joanna?  
All in all, the mission was a success, but I can tell I've missed something. I can't help but wonder what the rest of the story is.

-Cpt. Nomius

[End Transmission]

\---

Dear Uncle Chris,

Have they found Savas yet? I'm worried sick about him. I haven't heard anything from anybody in a couple of days and I can't help but wonder what might have happened to him. Daddy would say I've got a bad case of the "what ifs" because I keep thinking what if he's hurt? What if he got attacked by wild animals? What if he's passed out and can't call for help? I don't even want to say what the worst "what if" is because I'm afraid it might come true. I bet you can guess what it is, though.  
You'd tell me if it was bad, wouldn't you? I don't reckon you'd keep it from me. You'd just tell me straight, right?  
Anyway, I was thinking that maybe you could send the Enterprise to look. I bet Uncle Jim could find him because he never stops looking for an MiA.

Just please, tell me something, even if it's bad.  
Love,  
-Jo

\---

Cadet Jo,

You'll be pleased to know that they've found him. By the time you get this message, he'll be back home with his guardians, safe and sound, and I expect he'll be sending you a letter as soon as he is able. Even if something had happened to Savas, I would have been sure to keep you informed. Captain Kirk will debrief you on the mission.

This week, Vina has me trying different kinds of cake to serve for breakfast now and I fear my waistline is expanding faster than the universe.

Keep me posted on your progress on Cerberus.

Be safe out there,  
-Uncle Chris

\---

Queen Jo!

Joanna-Joanna-banana! Guess who I saw today? A certain Vulcan kid we know told me to give you this:

_\\\//

I wasn't able to go get him myself, but the USS Hermes was nearby and my friend, Captain Nomius, found him in a cave. She said there was some magnetic interference because of the composition of the rock, but the Hermes was able to filter through it in just a few hours. They're a survey ship, so they're used to dealing with that kind of thing. Wait 'til you hear why he was late. He told me he wanted to tell you himself, so you'll have to wait 'til you hear from him. He also asked me to tell you that he hopes you didn't worry too much. I didn't tell him that we were all going nutso over him being missing. I was cool.

Spock is "intrigued." He did the eyebrow thing. It was AWESOME! Inside my head, I giggle and clap my hands like a little girl every time he does the eyebrow thing. I love it when your dad does it, too. Sometimes I say crazy stuff just to see them do it. Bonus points if I can get both at once. You do it too, you know. It's great.

Spaghetti Western night tonight. We're watching The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly for the five thousandth time. I love that movie.

Live long and be awesome,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Dear Jo,

I am now sitting in the medbay of the USS Hermes and have just spoken with Captain Kirk. Do not be alarmed that I am in the medbay. I am in good health and will be returned to my guardians shortly. The doctor wishes to keep me here for a short observation period to ensure that my ordeal has not had any lasting ill-effects. Attempts #58-60 at obtaining macaroni and cheese have been successful. Captain Nomius is most accommodating.

I hope your classes are progressing well and I look forward to resuming our chess games. I am certain you are performing admirably and would like to hear about what you are learning. Perhaps we will converse in the Vulcan language as you learn more.

I must tell you the reason for the considerable delay in my return home, but I fear I will not do the story justice. I do not have your talent with metaphor and hyperbole, so I shall relate the facts as I observed them.

On the fifth day, I had seen sparse vegetation from several kilometers away and surmised, correctly, that this indicated a source of water. I failed to remember that when there are few sources of water, animals of all kinds will aggregate near such oases. A predatory animal, not unlike a wild sehlat or a large wolf attacked me there. I was able to render it unconscious with a blow to the head, but I knew that I must find safe shelter before it awoke, so I made haste toward the mountains. I found a small cave, the entrance only a few centimeters wider than my shoulders, that would be my shelter for the next few days. When I ventured out during the day, I managed to find small animals to sustain me and though eating meat is somewhat distasteful to me, I could not logically reject animal protein as a source of calories when no other food was available. On the seventh day, I had wandered far from my shelter in search of an alternate source of water or food. I did find a species of large grasses not of the Graminaceae-type, but rather more similar to your bamboo species. I fashioned something like a spear to use for hunting or defense and used it as a walking stick as I made my way over the rocky terrain back to my shelter. I consider myself fortunate that I was able to return to the small cave without incident, though I am certain that I was being followed.

On the eighth day, I was attacked again by the very same predator I previously described. It was not only the same species, but the same individual. Its markings were the same and it bore an abrasion from where I had concussed it. I ran to the cave and crawled through the narrow entrance, but sustained an injury to my ankle when the creature attempted to pull me out of the cave with its teeth. For several days it stayed at the entrance of the cave. I could not exit, but nor could it enter. I do not know how much time passed in this manner. Remembering a place from my previous wanderings, I devised a plan. I would distract the creature then lure it toward a narrow place between two boulders where its bulk would prevent it from reaching me. I would then kill it with my spear.

I caught a small reptile and released it at the entrance of the cave, distracting the predator long enough to take my spear and escape. Though I was slowed by my injury, I managed to fend off the predator until I reached the narrow place. Then, as it attempted to reach me with its claws, I made the killing blow through its skull. Please do not think that I would kill such an animal for any reason other than defense. I was neither angry nor vengeful. I only wished to survive.

I returned to the cave and rested there for several more days. When I awoke yesterday morning, I was quite surprised to see Starfleet personnel searching for something several meters from the entrance to the cave. I offered my assistance, not realizing that they had been searching for me. That is how I came to be in the medbay of the USS Hermes. I shall be returning to my guardians soon.

I hope you were not overly concerned for my well-being. Captain Kirk seemed to think you would be "okay." I have used this word before, but I find it vague and awkward. I assume this means you are well.

I must rest now. I will send another letter when I am home.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Don't you ever scare me like that again! I know it ain't logical, but I was so worried about you and I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you. You're my best friend in the whole universe and you ain't allowed to do anything dumb like almost get killed. Next time, I'll come and get you myself if I have to, even if I have to steal a starship and get court-martialed to do it.

Classes are good. I like the exercises we're doing in the morning. It's kinda like dancing, but our teacher says it's for combat. I'll tell you more later. I've got to go to the cafeteria for dinner now.

Live long and prosper,  
(AND I REALLY MEAN IT!)

-Jo


	30. Personal Log

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does one romance Jim Kirk?

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
16.1.2260 22:06FST

We received a transmission from the Hermes today. Captain Nomius found Jo's friend holed up in a cave in the mountains, and the kid had quite a story to tell. It took them a matter of hours and the boy seemed to be in remarkably good health, considering the ordeal he's just been through. He's a handsome young man, but serious and it makes me wonder what Spock was like as a kid. Our esteemed first officer was "intrigued" by the whole thing and I don't blame him. I'm a bit intrigued myself. The kid was genuinely concerned about Jo and I'm glad she's got a friend like that, but I don't quite understand it. Jo-jo wears her feelings on the outside and when she gets caught up in something that interests her, she's like a dog with a bone. So, I understand why she was so worried for him, but he was just as concerned for her in his own Vulcan way. Admittedly, I had my doubts and thought this was just one of those childhood obsessions. If it is, it's a mutual one between them, but I don't think that's the case. It seems to me that they really are good friends.

Now, Jim, as it turns out, had asked to be routed to New Vulcan for the rescue. He talked all through the movie tonight, complaining that Pike sent the Hermes and not us. He never ceases to amaze me and the thing is, his willingness to help Jo's friend had very little to do with whatever it is he and I have got going on. He's devoted to Jo completely and when he said he'd do anything for her, I believed every word of it. My baby girl is going to be President of the UFP at this rate. She's practically got the entire universe wrapped around her little finger.

Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure what it is Jim and I have got going on. We're friends before anything else and even when he plans one of his big romantic evenings, we're friends first and lovers second. It's all very strange to me. It's not like with Jocelyn or Nancy and, frankly, I'm not used to being the one who's pursued. I'm a gentleman, but he's no lady and I don't know what to do with that. It's not the sex that's awkward or difficult. I'm a doctor for god's sake, I can handle that much. It's the romance. How do you romance Jim Kirk, of all people?

\---

Personal Log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
16.1.2260 22:13FST

Savas and Jo, sittin' in a tree,  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

I've missed my calling as an interplanetary matchmaker. Those two? Perfect for each other. Yeah, yeah, I know they're just kids, but they're so frikkin' adorable. If they end up together and have little half-Vulcan babies,  
A: They will be the cutest things ever and  
B: I'll never let Bones live it down.

Neither will Spock, for that matter. I can see the smug look on his face now, as though to say, "There is justice in the universe." I wonder sometimes what kind of a kid Bones and I would have together, even though the wrongness of that is pretty much epic. He'd have to carry it. I get speared in the gut too often. Maybe I'll ask Palamas to draw something for me because I can only do stick figures.

I wonder what Spock was like at that age? I bet he was a cute kid.

Anyway, all quiet on the Klingon front. We haven't seen any action for several days now, so either they've withdrawn or they're mounting a focused attack on the Federation presence. I have a couple ideas about where they might attack, so Chekov's got the coordinates on standby and Uhura's monitoring those areas. One's a colony with few defenses, lots of natural resources, but there's a lot of ion interference around the planet. That'll disrupt subspace, transporter, and just about everything with a circuit. The other site we have scoped out is a nebula, mostly inert gasses, but there's plenty of cover and it's a prime spot for a sneak attack. It'll all depend on what they're after. My money's on the nebula and to be honest, I'd welcome an open fight. I'm tired of this cat-and-mouse bullshit.

\---

Personal Log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 00:15FST

We were in a fire fight near the Sharingan Nebula and we managed to drive them back, but we took some damage and lost a dozen men. I've just finished all but one of the letters home and I fucking hate this part. I learn the names of every crewman, every officer on my boat and it's like losing a family member every time. Geez, people say shit like that all the time, but this ship _is_ my family, sometimes even more so than the people I share DNA with. I hardly hear from Mom and I love my brother and his family and Uncle Bill in Idaho, but these are the men and women I work with every day. Every time I lose a person, it's my mistake, my failure that caused it to happen. I just...  
I just hope that I can learn something from it, that it makes me a better captain so that I won't have to write so many of these damned letters.  
I fucking hate this.

\---

[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]

Dear Mrs. Johannson,

On behalf of the President of the United Federation of Planets and the Admiral of the Fleet, it is my unfortunate duty to inform you of the death of your son, Crewman Erik Johannson, who died in the line of duty at 14:45FST today during an attack on our ship near the Klingon Neutral Zone. His service in engineering was exemplary and he remained at his station until the end. His intelligence and intuitive understanding of engine systems earned him a post on the Enterprise, but it was his bravery and quick thinking that made him a valued member of my crew. To that effect, he will be awarded the posthumous rank of Ensign. We will miss his unabated optimism, his creative and elaborate practical jokes, and his cheerful demeanor. You have my deepest sympathy for your loss and know that you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,  
Capt. James T. Kirk  
USS Enterprise NCC-1701

\---

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
17.1.2260 22:18FST

We lost twelve people today, eight that died before we could get them to sickbay. Two men and two women died on my operating table - radiation burns, internal bleeding, broken bones and it all just happened so fast. I've lost patients before, but it never gets any easier. It's harder on Jim, I think. He wants to save them all, thinks he can if he can just cheat the system somehow. Sometimes, you just can't stop death. You just can't.

I'm confining him to quarters tomorrow to get some rest. He'll be up all night writing letters to the next-of-kin.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 10:13FST

You disabled my alarm.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
18.1.2260 10:15FST

Yes, I did. You need your sleep. I don't need to remind you that fatigue impairs your judgment as much as alcohol. I'm not fool enough to expect you'll get eight hours of rest, but it looks like you've had six, so you're clear to return to duty. I expect you in the mess at noon, sharp.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 10:20FST

You certainly have a way of asking a guy out on a date. Noon, lunch - yes, sir. I expect "coffee" after, by which I mean sex.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
18.1.2260 10:23FST

Lunch at noon, sex after shift. Some of us have work to do.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 10:23FST

You're bossy. I could make it an order. I do still outrank you, y'know.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
18.1.2260 10:24FST

That would be in violation of Starfleet conduct regs. Aren't you supposed to be going to the bridge about now?  
Love you. Go to work.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 10:26FST

But, Dr. Love! I have this ache that only you can cure!  
XD  
I'll be on the bridge in a few. See how I go? I'm gone.  
Love you, too.  
-J

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 10:43FST

On the bridge now. You should be here. That's not an order, I just missed seeing you last night.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
18.1.2260 10:48FST

I'm finishing up my casualty reports and I've got to check in on Scotty and Ramirez. Scotty should be out by gamma shift, but I'm keeping Ramirez for observation for another couple days. They're both going to be fine. See you at lunch. I can't break free 'til then.  
-B

\---

Personal log: CMO Lt. Cmdr. Dr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
18.1.2260 22:06FST

Poetry.  
He recited poetry at me - Shakespeare, no less!

Jim Kirk is a whole hell of a lot more than he lets on. He's complex, but...  
I don't know how to explain it. Not only did he talk a Klingon commander out of blowing us to smithereens, but then he breaks out the Shakespeare while we're in bed. He ain't normal, that's for damned sure.

Scotty's back in Engineering, which is just as well. Keenser wouldn't stop perching on top of the biobed and it was confusing the sensors. He's good as new, but Ramirez is going to need weeks of physical therapy before I'll clear him for full duty. Even then, he's going to walk with a limp for the rest of his life. I thought we were going to lose him, but Christine was able to stop the bleeding in time. She saved his life and they tell me _I'm_ the miracle worker. Without the nurses and doctors under my command, I'm nothing but a country doctor.

We're headed to Starbase 579 for repairs and it'll be good to have some down time after the past couple of weeks. The crew needs it. Hell, I need it. If I'm lucky, I can pick up some good ol' Kentucky bourbon while we're there, or at least something high enough proof to use for medicinal purposes.

Busy day tomorrow, I've got to get sickbay back in order, plan out a regimen for Ramirez, and there's a stack of medical files to update. No rest for the weary, as they say.

\---

Personal log: Capt. Kirk, James T.  
18.1.2260 22:19FST

#116  
Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.

Total classic. I'd been thinking about Bones - well, that's not unusual, really, but I was thinking specifically about how constant he is. They used to say "constant as the North Star," but the more we learn about stars, the more we understand them as tempestuous and potentially unstable systems, dangerous and isolated. That's not Bones. He's constant like...  
like...  
I don't know. I want to say that he's constant like the Enterprise or Earth, like home, but even those things could be lost in an instant. He's constant like Bones. Shit could be blowing up all over the place and there he'll be, Dr. Grumpface, just fucking _handling_ it.

Our girl got a little banged up, so we're taking her to Starbase 579 for the full spa treatment. Maybe I'll get her some fuzzy pink dice for the viewscreen. Then again, maybe not. She's too classy a lady for that.

\---

[UNN News Feed: 19 January, 2260]  
>Enterprise drives back hostile forces along Klingon NZ. "It was an isolated incident by a rogue commander," claims Ambassador Kolker  
>Pluto Research Base celebrates 254th anniversary of New Horizons probe launch.  
>Fifth Column Resistance blamed for attacks on Sirius IV military installations. Sirian leader, "This was not an act of terrorism, but it was an act of war."  
>Lost Vulcan boy found in cave by USS Hermes personnel. Ambassador T'Pau expresses gratitude to Federation.

\---

Dear Readers,  
Here's the [Sonnet.](http://www.rhymezone.com/r/gwic.cgi?Word=_&Path=shakespeare/poetry/sonnets/cxvi//) Bonus points and Mac & Cheese to anyone who writes that scene.  
Freakin' responsibilities keep sucking away valuable fic-writing time. But I am writing sehr schnell.  
Be well,  
-Jess


	31. Dear Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo is having a good time on Cerberus, learning lots, being good, and collecting gossip like it was currency.

[UNN News Feed: 30 January, 2260]  
>Baltar's Betrayal holds impromptu concert on studio rooftop in London. Lead singer, Gaius, "It will be our last public performance."  
>Scientists observe pre-warp society on Sanctuary Moon in Endor system. Language similar to Yuzzum.  
>Shuang Feng strikes opponent's ears with both fists.  
>Two sets of twins reunited after decades apart: "We came into the world like brother and brother and now we go hand in hand, not one before the other."

\---

Dear Mama,

School is going great. I can write a little bit of it now and we started to have conversation time and I can say things like, "Hi, my name is Jo. I'm from Peach Tree, Georgia. Where are you from?" You know, little stuff. Today, we learned about First Contact the way they saw it, which I hadn't ever thought about before. I mean, it was real important for us to meet them, but I never figured that it was just as important for them to meet us. Mrs. T'Yelas said they kinda thought of us as children at first, but she didn't mean anything by it. She just meant that there was a lot of stuff we didn't know at the time. Just like you say, Mama, there's a difference between ignorant and dumb. Anyway, Mrs. T'Yelas said that they learned how to work with emotional people and that they still have so much to learn because we're so different.

Rachel french-braided my hair yesterday and she put a ribbon in it. It looked real nice, but I can't figure out how to do it myself. Tomorrow, we're going to have a pajama party in our room with the other girls and no boys can come. Mei Lien's got Monopoly and Fatima says she can get popcorn and stuff from the cafeteria. She said she'd show me how to put a scarf on my head like she does. She wears them every day and she's got one that's purple and gold that's real pretty.

I hope Hippo isn't too sad that I'm gone. I miss him a lot. They've got a sehlat that lives here and it's so cute, but I miss my dog. Be sure to scratch behind his ears and rub his belly and don't buy the dog food in the green bag because that gives him the farts something bad.

Love you, Mama,  
-Jo

\---

[UNN News Feed: 7 February, 2260]  
>Outdated starcharts to blame for loss of USS Orpheus during mission Manukau outpost.  
>Cmdr. J. Crichton to begin work on module to test wormhole theories. Farscape project to cost billions.  
>Engineer Chuan Suo creates defense system for shuttles.  
>Orsino, Governor of Illyria, to marry in spite of threats from rival, Malvolio. Governor states, "A solemn combination shall be made of our dear souls."

\---

Dear Daddy,

Mei Lien sprained her ankle yesterday. She's a girl in my class. We were practicing suss mann before lights out and she was helping me with the part where you crouch down real low and then come up on one foot, but she fell and landed wrong. I fixed it, though. The tricorder you gave me won't let me fix anything too big, but nothing was broken and it was only a grade one, so I used the collagen stimulator on the low setting and that fixed it up just fine. Do you get a lot of sprained ankles and stuff on the Enterprise? I was wondering 'cause I might be a ship's doctor one day and I'll have to know what kind of injuries to fix.

Are you getting on alright with Uncle Jim? I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend because the way Rachel talks, they seem like a lot of trouble. Her boyfriend, Julio, broke up with her a week ago over subspace 'cause he met this other girl. She only got the message today. Rachel called him something I ain't gonna say, but it was rude. Savas' guardians tried to set him up with another girl even though it's only been two weeks since he got home from his kahs-wan and he didn't like that girl either or else she didn't like him. Anyway, they didn't get on too well and it don't seem any more logical to have your parents pick out a girlfriend or boyfriend for you 'cause they don't always know what you like. Kissing's gross anyway.

Say hi to Miss Uhura for me.  
Love,

-Jo

\---

Dear Uncle Jim,

Don't tell Daddy, but last week, we had a sleepover with all the other girls in my class and we all did makeovers on each other and did our hair and nails. Rachel said I looked fabulous. Daddy wouldn't want me wearing makeup and stuff, but it's not like I wore it out or anything. Fatima says she only shows her hair to other girls, which is weird, but I guess it's the same. I don't mind other girls seeing me in makeup, but I don't want any dumb boys getting the wrong idea about me. Anyway, she brought the popcorn, which tasted kind of stale, but we ate it anyway. I can't tell you what else went on, though, because you're a boy. I don't know what the boys do and I don't think I want to know, so don't tell me.

I heard something about you beating up on some Klingons. You show 'em, Uncle Jim! Rachel is shaking her fist at them Klingons right now. She told me to tell you. She still has your picture up and she wants to know if Mr. Chekov and Mr. Sulu are still together. She says they're the cutest couple. I just make a face 'cause I don't want to think about boys and kissing at all, even though all the other girls talk about almost all the time. I reckon I'll eventually change my mind about it, but I can wait 'til I'm bigger. Mei Lien says that she likes Victor, but she's too shy to say anything. Rachel and I think that Victor likes her back 'cause I saw him making eyes at her in our suss mann class the other day. I wish they'd quit pussyfooting around and just say something!

Anyway, things are going pretty great here. It's only February, but it already feels like April or May and there's all these flowers blooming and stuff. I reckon that's why everybody's feeling romantic. And it's almost Valentine's day. Daddy likes French toast, just so you know.

We're doing a lot of our studies outside since it's so nice and I'd sure hate to be cooped up inside in this weather. I guess you're inside all the time, though. I hope you get to have fresh air and sunshine sometimes because I know I'd go crazy otherwise.

I hope you're taking good care of my daddy 'cause I ain't afraid to kick your butt.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

[UNN News Feed: 13 February, 2260]  
>USS Richmond victorious in battle on Klingon NZ border. Captain Leicester remarks, "The day is ours, the bloody dog is dead."  
>Dr. Violet Shy discovers planet composed entirely of diamond. "I've decided to call it 'Spectra.' It's like all the light in the universe passes through it."  
>Captain Lucy McCartney to command USS Revere's survey of white dwarf star, BPM 37093.  
>Heidi Jhen finds needle at sea bottom.

\---

Dear Jo,

I've been taking Hippo to the dog park every day after work so he's got other dogs to play with. He's been so lonely and I thought he might make a few friends. Turns out Mr. Phillips has the sweetest mutt-dog named Fizzbin and he and Hippo get along pretty well. Hippo still sleeps on your bed though, so I know he misses you like I do. He's been good company this past month and a half, but baby, I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't counting the days 'til you get home.

I've not been doing much other than working, but tomorrow night, Mr. Phillips is coming over for dinner and he's cooking up some Hungarian goulash. He says it's his specialty and I hadn't ever had any, so he's offered to make me some. It'll be a nice change from Chinese takeout. I've not felt like cooking since it's just me here, but I'm thinking about inviting him and Miss Johnson and Miss Louise from work over for a nice big Sunday dinner.

Your Gram says to tell you to keep up your knitting and that Saturn misses you. I miss you too, sweet baby. Keep up your studies and don't let those girls talk you into eating too much junk food.

Love,  
Mama

\---

[UNN News Feed: 16 February, 2260]  
>Henry Bolingbroke mourns loss of rival, "King" Richard Bordeaux: "Though I did wish him dead, I hate the murderer, love him murdered."  
>Cestus III to build baseball field. Carter Winston "cautiously hopeful" at recolonization success.  
>Mtshezi system deemed unfit for colonization upon discovery of pre-warp society.  
>Businessman Ru Feng apparently closes up Shi Bi stores.

\---

Dear Savas,

We had a whole class today on IDIC and how it's the conceptual basis for darn near everything, even down to RNA and star systems! I mean, we talked about it in Mr. Phillip's class, but today we talked about where we're from and stuff and had little conversations in Vulcan so we could learn about each other. I already knew a lot about Rachel, since she's my roommate, but today she told me that she's interested in the history of Vulcan before the Time of Awakening. Fatima is Muslim, that's an Earth religion. I don't know anything about it, but she's from Earth Colony V and her mama is a geologist. Victor's from Poland and he likes to cook and Mei Lien's from Toronto and she likes to fix up cars. Her daddy owns a garage there and I think she knows everything there is to know about engines. She wants to be an engineer on a spaceship. Then there's Thelin and Shimra, they're Andorian and always complaining how hot it is, but Andor's really cold, so that makes sense. Shimra got sick yesterday from eating peaches but I only had a bite of them 'cause they tasted funny. I reckon I'm spoiled 'cause I'm from Georgia and that's where the best peaches are. Skyla can eat just about anything. She's from Tellar Prime and she wants to join Starfleet. Paul's from Mars. His parents are engineers, but he wants to be a linguist. Walter's from New Berlin - he says it's the one on the moon and not the one in Wisconsin. That's a lot of different kinds of people and most of us get along pretty well - except for Alexis from Egypt. She's kinda stuck up.

Okay, I'm going to try a few sentences in Vulcan. I hope they're not too awful.

[Text follows in Vulcan. Translate?]  
y  
[Enter language for automatic translation.]  
English Standard

Hello, Fruit*. I am from Peach Tree, Georgia. I like to meditate on a tree. I go to Peach Tree basic school. My teacher is Mr. Phillips. He is tall.

[Text resumes in Standard.]

There, I hope that's not too terrible. I don't know how to say elementary school and I don't think I used the right word, but you know what I mean, so it's good enough.

I hadn't had much time to read Major Tom and the Dilithium Dilemma. Did you ever get your copy?

Live Long and Prosper  
-Jo

P.S. Uncle Jim does it like this: _\\\// See? It looks like a hand.

\---

[UNN News Feed: 21 February, 2260]  
>Rare peacocks You Lan and Zou Lan at San Francisco Zoo to participate in breeding program.  
>Bolingbroke falls ill. Chief Justice to support succession of his son, Harry, to head Globe Corporation.  
>Federation Science Bureau debates cloning of extinct species of parrot, Conuropsis carolinensis.  
>Soylent Corporation shut down after multiple violations of Federation Health Code. CEO claims: "It was the people."

\---

Dear Jo,

Uncle Jim and I are getting on just fine, so don't you worry about that. I don't know if I'd call him my "boyfriend" but he's my best friend and I love him very much. Now, that Savas is a handsome young man and he seems quite taken with you. But you're absolutely right, you don't need to be kissing any boys anytime soon. I'm sure I can convince your mama to lock you in a pickle barrel 'til you're thirty. Maybe then, you can think about kissing boys.

I'm glad your first aid kit came in handy, but don't forget to do a follow-up exam. That's very important, even for a minor injury, because it ensures that the patient is healing properly and it lets them know you care about them. I don't want you trying to fix everything, but you do what you can and when you can't help someone, send them to the infirmary.

There are a little over a thousand people on the Enterprise, which is bigger than some colonies, so we get all kinds of injuries and sicknesses on a day-to-day basis. There are humanitarian missions where we help people in all kinds of trouble and sometimes we get into fights with other ships and people get hurt. The short answer is that we have to be prepared for anything and everything. Space is a very dangerous place, but a ship's doctor can really make a difference. It's not for everyone, but I've grown to love what I do. The most important thing for you to do is, as the old saying goes, to follow your bliss. Do what you love and you'll love what you do.

I love being a doctor, but more than that, I love being your daddy and I wish I didn't have to do it from so far away. I love you, Jo-baby, and I miss you. Miss Uhura says hello.

Love,  
-Daddy

\---

Hey, kiddo!

Y'know, next chance I get, I'm buying you a big hat with flowers on it. You sound like Julia Higgins! And tell Rachel that yes, Mr. Chekov and Mr. Sulu are still together. They talked to their parents over video, but Uhura won't give me any details. I really should know, because if they wanted to get married, I'd have to do the ceremony since I'm the captain. It's tradition. I'm pretty sure they're going to get married one of these days, but it might take them some time to figure it out (if they haven't already!). My money's on six months and I'm betting Chekov proposes.

So, what's up besides love in the air? Classes going okay? Kicking butt, taking names? Speaking of which, I'm taking good care of your dad, so no butt-kicking will be necessary. I brought him waffles with peaches on V-day instead of French toast, but he seemed to like it alright. I'll try French toast another time. We spent a couple of weeks at Starbase 579 for repairs and now we're back doing patrols. Hopefully, we'll be going back into uncharted space again soon, but I never know where the Admiralcy is going to send me.

I'll tell you a secret. When guys get together, do you know what we do? We scratch our butts and grunt. Sometimes we set things on fire or hit things with other things. If it weren't for girls, we'd never bathe. Okay, that's probably not entirely accurate. Your dad likes to be clean.

Enjoy the fabulous weather, kiddo. Maybe next planet I set foot on will be a nice class M with nice weather and without anything deadly. Those are harder to find than you'd think.

Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

[UNN News Feed: 26 February, 2260]  
>Wampanoag Tribe to host dinner at Plimoth Plantation. Chief Sly Fox: "We're just thankful to be here."  
>Original Dixieland Jazz Festival to be held in New York City.  
>Jiahu Ensemble to release album of ancient Chinese music, "Shou Hui Pi Pa."  
>Globe Co. CEO speaks after father's death, "Weep that Harry's dead, and so will I. But Harry lives."

\---

Dear Mama,

I'm glad that Hippo's not too lonely, but it's a little weird you having dinner with my teacher, even if it is Hungarian goulash and you ain't ever had it before. Anyway, I wish I could send more letters, but our communications array ain't too good. I think I told you already, but I can't remember. Uncle Jim says it's within Federation minimum standards, so I guess it's alright. Anyway, I'm doing real good. Mrs. T'Yelas says I'm doing admirably and I reckon I'd be making good grades if we got grades, but we don't. She teaches history and she's one of our language professors. I'm having trouble with pronunciation, though. I can't get the vowels to do right. Rachel's helping me, but she's having a little bit of trouble, too.

I miss your cooking, Mama. Nothing tastes quite the same as it does at home and I reckon that makes sense 'cause we eat cafeteria food every day instead of home cooked food or maybe it's because the stuff that grows here has different soil. Yesterday, we had cabbage and tomato soup, which I thought I liked, but it tasted funny. Maybe I just like yours. The bread was stale, too. We had eggs for breakfast and they were fine, but the strawberries were awful. Anyway, Victor got a stomach ache today, but the tricorder Daddy got me said he didn't have a virus. I think he just ate too many strawberries. He had mine and Mei Lien's and his own, too. Remember that time I ate all those cherries and then spent the whole rest of the day on the pot? It's like that. Mei Lien told him about me fixing her ankle up and how Daddy's a doctor and everything, but all I could do was tell him to drink plenty of water so he won't get dehydrated and that he didn't have a virus. I don't think I was very helpful, but I hope he feels better soon. Mei Lien really likes him a lot.

Tell everyone I said "hi!"  
Love,  
-Jo

*Savas means "fruit" in Vulcan.


	32. Dear Capricorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are times when life on the Enterprise is really really boring and then suddenly it's not boring anymore. There's something to be said for boring.

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.3.2260 09:13FST

Bones,  
This does not bode well.

Capricorn:  
You might feel as if your friends are not supporting you as you wish they would. But questioning their loyalty today will probably lead you in an unproductive direction. Even if they don't agree with how you are handling a current situation, it's against your best interests to simply ignore them. It's not easy hearing something you don't want to acknowledge, yet taking the bitter medicine could make you healthier and happier in the long run.

-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
9.3.2260 09:23FST

Jim,

That's terrible. Why do you read those anyway? Here's your new one:

Dear Capricorn,  
Your inherent charm and ability to deal with adversity is there if you need it. Here's hoping you don't, but you can rest assured that you have your friends and colleagues behind you. Any bitter medicine will be administered under the care and supervision of your attending physician - which is me.

Bitter medicine, indeed!  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.3.2260 09:32FST

Bones,  
Hey, you can do that?! I mean, don't you have to know the position of the stars or something? We should ask Chekov- I bet he knows.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
9.3.2260 09:35FST

Hell, Jim, I guaran-damn-tee you I know as much about the future as any crackpot astrologer. Besides, mine's much more poetical. Bet you a shiny credit chip Chekov says astrology was invented in Russia.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.3.2260 09:38FST

Bones,

Chekov says that astrology was invented by Russian gypsies. You're good. I like yours much better, anyway. You should write all my horoscopes.

It's boring up here. Come to the bridge. Chekov and Sulu are playing "Go Fish" at the conn. They think I don't know, but I can see it from here. Ooh! Sulu just gave up a Jack.

Think anyone would notice if I started sitting upside-down in my chair?

-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
9.3.2260 09:42FST

Jim,

I think they'd notice. Gimme a minute, okay? Chapel will give me hell if I abandon her with Crewman Twitterpated down here. He's making the big moony eyes at her and if I leave, she's going to forcibly sedate the poor besotted bastard.

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.3.2260 09:45FST

Bones,  
Sounds much more fun than the sore butt I'm getting from sitting here and doing nothing. Before you even bring it up, I've already written all my reports, signed every requisition form known to man, woman, or alien species and played chess with the computer five times. I even won once.

So. Very. Bored. Now.

Who's making eyes at Chapel? She is a hottie, you gotta admit.

Heard from Jo lately?

-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
9.3.2260 09:57FST

Jim,  
Crewman Reynolds from Engineering. Keeps coming in with minor complaints. This time, he actually twisted his ankle and is now making an attempt at chatting her up. He's failing. Miserably. And I prefer not to think of my head nurse as a "hottie," but she is a handsome woman. Haven't heard from Jo in a while. I hope she's alright.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
9.3.2260 10:01FST

Bones,  
I'm sure she's fine. We're not due for another letter from her for another week, but I was hoping maybe she sent you a note or something.

"Handsome?" Handsome is for women over 50. Chapel is sex on legs.

Hey look,  
Stars.  
OH! WAIT! THERE'S SOMETHING ON THE VIEWSCREEN!  
It's stars.  
and some more stars. Aft view? Stars.  
Dorsal? Stars.  
Ventral? Stars.  
Starboard? More freakin' stars.  
Portside? Oh look! Stars.

This is killing me, Bones.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Leonard H.  
9.3.2260 10:06FST

J,  
On my way,  
-B

\---

[UNN News Feed: 09 March, 2260]  
>Mars Colony scientists developing fast-growing algae for terraforming H-class planets.  
>Vulcan Elders to attend 250th annual interfaith dinner, hosted by Tennessee-based group, MINNOWED.  
>Cerberus Colony faces severe food shortage. Many ill, nine reported dead prior to subspace blackout.  
>Russian mafia suspected in deaths of three Bolivians. Hits not drug-related, Federation officials say.

\---

10:15FST  
[Official Transmission: Starfleet Command]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Kirk,  
Your orders are to divert to Cerberus colony to deliver humanitarian aid. You're the closest ship and the best equipped. You are to dock at Starbase 16 for a supply of E-rations and then proceed DIRECTLY to Cerberus colony without delay.  
Hurry, Jim, those kids need your help.  
Godspeed,

-Pike

[End Transmission]

\---

10:15FST  
[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral,  
We're diverting to Cerberus Colony in spite of our orders to patrol the border colonies. There's been no activity since the attack near the Sharingan Nebula and, frankly, it's a waste of time and resources to keep us here when we can be helping people. Bones' little girl is there. I can't sit idly by when she's in trouble.  
-Kirk

[End Transmission]

\---

10:17FST  
[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]  
[Enter Authorization Code]

Admiral,  
Transmission acknowledged. En route to Starbase 16, then proceeding to Cerberus Colony.  
-Kirk

[End Transmission]

\---

Leonard,

[UNN News Feed: 09 March, 2260]  
>Cerberus Colony faces severe food shortage. Many ill, nine reported dead prior to subspace blackout.

Go get our little girl. I don't care what you have to do, just go get her and make sure she's safe.  
-Jocelyn

\---

Lawrence,

Jo's in trouble. Cerberus colony is having some kind of food shortage and their subspace is out. All I could do was comm Leonard in the hopes that maybe he could tell someone or call in a favor or something. I'm grasping at straws here. I don't know what else I can do but pray. Eloise let me off of work early and I know you gotta take care of your kids, but I'm going to send a note to Reverend Barrett and Ms. Johnson and some of the gals from church, so if you can, come on over after you're done at school and we'll have ourselves a prayer circle. I don't know they if do that up in Chicago, but hell, what else am I gonna do?

Hope to see you later,  
-Jocelyn

\---

Jocelyn,

I'll be there as soon as school is out. If you don't mind, I'll let the other teachers know. Hang in there, we'll get through this together.

-Mr. Lawrence A. Phillips  
5th Grade, Peach Tree Elementary

\---

Ms. McCoy,

I'm sure by now you've heard of the food shortage on Cerberus Colony and while we know very little about the situation, you can rest assured that we have our best people on this. The Enterprise should be there within 24 hours and they are the best equipped to handle delivery of humanitarian aid on a large scale. What I can tell you is that Joanna was not listed amongst the casualties sent in their last transmission. I will personally keep you informed of any developments as they arise. Vina and I are both praying for her safe return home.

Sincerely,  
Adm. Christopher Pike  
Starfleet Command

\---

Jocelyn,

We're on our way there now. As soon as Jim found out, he set a course before we even got orders from Starfleet. Our ETA is less than 18 hours and I'm preparing my medical team now. Uhura's working on reaching the colony via Emergency channels and the second I know something, I'll send you a comm. I'm going to take care of our girl, Joss. She's my first priority.

-Leonard


	33. T'nar pak sorat y'rani, Captain James Tiberius Kirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savas is not "worried." He is "concerned." That's different.

T'nar pak sorat y'rani, Captain James Tiberius Kirk,

Please forgive the intrusion of my unsolicited correspondence, but I wish to address a matter that is of concern to us both. My understanding is that because she uses the epithet "Uncle" when referring to you, Joanna considers you a very close friend. I consider her a close friend as well. I have not received a letter from her in several weeks and the news feed this morning made mention of a food shortage on Cerberus where she is attending the Language Immersion Program. There was little information in the news feed itself and my attempts to research the matter have been in vain. I had hoped that, as a Starfleet Captain, you would have more extensive knowledge of the situation or access to information unavailable to me. My only query is whether Joanna is well. I would also like to know the nature of her condition if she is unwell or worse.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas, son of Varin

\---

T'nar jaral, Savas,

Spock tells me that's the proper response to the greeting you used, but since I'm Jo's friend and you're Jo's friend, there's no reason you and I can't be friends, got it? So call me Jim. We are literally on our way _right now_ to get Jo. We had to stop for some E-rations at Starbase 16 and we'll be at Cerberus colony in just a few hours. Her dad's got the medical staff ready to go and we'll let you know how she's doing as soon as we find out, okay? Don't worry, my man, we'll keep you in the loop.  
_\\\//

Peace and long life,  
-Captain Jim, son of George.

\---

[UNN News Feed: 10 March, 2260]  
>Federation Scientist, Dr. J. Wallace discovers similarities in Andorian, Human neurotransmitter binding sites.  
>Dylan Labs confirm solution moving along air currents.  
>USS Enterprise dispatched to Cerberus Colony. No cause yet determined for subspace blackout.  
>Dr. Roger Korby finds medical records in ruins of ancient Orion city.

\---

[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]

Report #: NCC-1701α4596  
Reporting Officer: Captain Kirk, James T.  
Mission Type: Humanitarian  
Stardate: 2260.69  
Attachments: List of deceased colonists, Five (5) supplemental reports  
Summary: Under orders delivered to me at 2260.68 10:15FST, Enterprise arrived at Starbase 16 2260.68 13:08FST to acquire a shipment of E-rations before proceeding to Cerberus colony. Proceeded from Starbase 16 at 13:49FST, warp 7. Arrived at Cerberus Colony 2260.69 07:32FST. Away team consisted of Cmdr. Spock, Lt. Cmdr. Scott, Lt. Uhura, myself, CMO Lt. Cmdr McCoy, Head Nurse Lt. Chapel, and medical technicians Sanchez, Tracey, Greye, and Rósza. Lt. Sulu commanded the bridge for the duration.

Cmdr. Spock determined the cause of the food shortage to be an infestation of a type of mold living in symbiosis with an airborne bacteria, both species undescribed. Complete DNA sequences and descriptions to be included in Cmdr. Spock's report. It was determined by Dr. McCoy and Cmdr. Spock that the organisms fed upon starches and sugars present in most foodstuffs as well as fats and proteins, breaking them down into unusable wastes. Infected food became non-nutritive within 24 hours of innoculation. In some cases, toxins produced from the bacterial element of the symbiote caused illness and, in thirty-six cases, death. List of deceased colonists attached. Dr. McCoy will be reviewing each case to determine whether there are any commonalities in their medical histories that may have resulted in their deaths. Medical team, in conjunction with planetside medical professionals, organized food distribution and care for the severely malnourished.

Infected food has been disposed of and growing crops are being treated with Compound#7D, easily manufactured locally. Compound #7D has been approved by the Federation Department of Agriculture for use on food crops and is considered safe for use on most M-class planets. Environmental impact, minimal.

Repair of subspace array underway, supervised by Communications Officer, Lt. Uhura. Recommend investigation of Comcast Company's inspection protocols. Subspace array was reported to meet Federation minimum standards, but clearly did not. Repairs to take four days. Details to follow in the Lieutenant's report.

E-rations, if properly distributed, should last ten days. Fresh growing food to be harvested in fourteen days. Current infrastructure does not support installation of food slots. Lt. Cmdr. Scott is working with planetside engineers to boost power plant output, but the Enterprise is ill-equipped to install food slots on a large scale. Recommend deployment of the Potemkin or Excalibur to deliver additional aid.

We have taken on one passenger, Ms. Joanna Rose McCoy, daughter of Dr. Leonard McCoy. Her condition is stable.

[End Report]  
[End Transmission]

\---

Jocelyn,

I have our girl. She's malnourished and dehydrated, but otherwise alright. We beamed her up to the ship and I put her on IV nutritive fluids. She pitched a hell of a fit before we beamed her up and it took me, Jim, and Spock to get her to calm down. A friend of hers is in critical condition still and she refused to leave his side, saying that she was his attending medical technician. Commander Spock finally convinced her that going up to the ship was the logical thing to do and she straightened up right away. I was surprised, but pleasantly so. Spock is a good man. She's in stable condition, but I've got her sedated for the time being while her body repairs the damage from the toxin that was in the food. It's going to take some time, a couple days, maybe, before she's ambulatory, but she's going to be just fine.

You should be proud of her. She doesn't know it yet, but she saved that boy's life. He reacted violently to the toxin, but the doctor at the facilities there tells me that she sterilized all of his water. I've been looking at the pathogen in my lab and the toxin is ten times more potent in the waterborne form of the bacteria.

We ain't meant to be together, Joss, but damn we made a beautiful baby. For what it's worth, I know I fucked things up after Dad died. I didn't know what to do except drink and work and you and Jo suffered because of it. Now, I see our little girl sleeping here and I'm reminded why I wanted to be a doctor and a father. She's the world to me and I don't want to lose that again.

I'll have her write to you when she's up to it.

-Leonard

\---

Savas, my man!

We've got Jo. She's going to be alright. Her dad's got her in the medbay and she's sleeping right now, but she should be awake pretty soon. I'll make sure she writes you as soon as she can.

_\\\//

Live long and rock out  
-Captain Jim

\---

Dear Mama,

I'm still woozy from being sedated, so I hope my letter don't sound too weird. I've been sleeping a lot. Daddy says I still got toxin in my system and I need to sleep it off so my body fixes my cells. I ain't hungry at all and I've got a damn tube in my arm. I hate this damn tube in my arm. Mama, is Hippo okay? Scratch his ears for me, okay? I had a dream that he was howling for me, but I couldn't get to him. I gotta get back to sleep. Daddy says I won't be so sleepy tomorrow.

I love you, Mama,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

Oh, baby! I'm so glad to hear you're okay! I was so scared for you and I don't know what I'd do if anything had happened. Hippo's just fine, sweetie, he stayed right by me the whole time. Your daddy told me about what happened, and you mind good, Jo. You do what your daddy tells you to, I don't care if it ain't logical. And don't cuss. I'll let you off easy since you're not feeling good, but I don't want you cussing. You know better.

We were all praying for you, Mr. Phillips, Reverend Barrett, Miss Johnson, Miss Cosgrove, and even Miss Julia Higgins came over. Your principal was here and so was Mrs. Beverley, and Miss Eloise from work. I can't even remember who else, but I'm pretty sure Roberta from the bakery came over because there's one of her braided breads here. Isn't she Bill and Lenny's mama? Never in my life have I seen our house so full.

I can't tell you how proud I am of you. Your daddy told me what you did for your friend and this is one of those times that I'm so glad you're like he is.  
I love you, baby. Write me again when you're feeling better.

Love,  
Mama

\---

Dear Savas,

Uncle Jim said you were worried about me, but I've been sedated for most of a day 'cause Daddy had to stick a tube in my arm. I hate it and I just want to yank the damn thing out, but Daddy says I'm malnourished and dehydrated and I got to have it in for a little while. I'm so mad, I could spit, except I can't spit 'cause I'm dehydrated! I hate how I feel when I've been sedated. My head gets all swimmy.

Anyway, I'm okay. Some of the kids didn't make it, but Victor and Rachel and Fatima and Mei Lien were all okay. Victor was in the worst shape of all of us, but they've got him on tubes down on the planet now and Daddy said he'd be okay. I sterilized all his water for him 'cause even though my tricorder didn't pick up any bacterial pathogens, I figured it was better safe than sorry 'cause I didn't know what was making us sick. Alexis didn't make it and I'm pretty upset about that. I didn't like her much, but ain't nobody gotta up and die like she did. Some of the kids in the Klingon program died, too, but I didn't know any of them. I knew Alexis and I feel bad for her mama and daddy. I wish I could have done something to help her.

Daddy's going to sedate me again. Ugh! I still don't feel so good, but he says I can leave the medbay in a couple days. Did you know I got to meet Spock?  
Gotta go.  
Ll&p  
-Jo

P. S. We've got to start a new chess game.

\---

Dear Jo,

I am most relieved to hear that you are well. When someone has died, we say "S'ti th'lactra." It means "I grieve with thee" in Standard. It is my understanding that the word "thee" is archaic, but it is the most precise word. I grieve with thee, Jo, for the loss of your classmate. S'ti th'lactra. In the first few weeks after the loss of Vulcan, I became very emotional upon hearing this phrase. Sometimes the emotion was sadness, as you might guess, but sometimes there was also anger. I cannot share sadness with you in a way you would be familiar with, but because you are my friend, your loss is my loss as well. I fear I am not explaining this sufficiently. I hope you understand my meaning.

Captain Jim, as he wishes to be called, is a fascinating individual. What is the meaning of "rock out?"

Rest well, Jo. I await your next transmission and when you are ready, we can begin a new game of chess. Perhaps then, you can tell me more about meeting Commander Spock.

Peace and long life,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I think I kinda know what you mean. It makes sense, anyway. You're a Vulcan, you ain't gonna cry your eyeballs out, but that don't mean it doesn't hurt when somebody you know dies. You just feel it on the inside, is all.

I can't wait to get off this danged biobed. The beeping is driving me bananas. I've been having visitors all day long, though, so it's not as boring as it could be. Aunt Nyota says that Comcast put together the subspace array on Cerberus and that it ain't no better than a tin can and a string assembled by untrained brain-damaged monkeys. I'm not real sure what she means by that, but it wasn't nice. I always thought her voice sounded pretty when I talked to her before, but she's really pretty all over and she's so sweet to me. She snuck me in some chocolate pudding when Daddy wasn't looking. Mr. Chekov came by, too and said I could call him "Dyadya" because that means "uncle" in Russian. I can't hardly get my mouth around that word, but I'm gonna try. He's real nice and asked me if I wanted to play chess later, if it's okay with Daddy. Daddy said it was. He also said I could call Mr. Sulu "Uncle Hikaru," but Mr. Sulu didn't say anything. I think he's shy, which I don't get 'cause I'm just a kid and I ain't gonna bite. I told him that, too, and he just kinda laughed and looked uncomfortable. Mr. Chekov just looked at him like he was being dumb.

I'm still mad because I was helping the other kids when they got here and Daddy won't let me go back and help out. He says I gotta stay put, but that don't mean I have to like it. I got some meditating in today 'cause there ain't nothing else to do. I don't even have any books to read 'cause all my stuff is down on the planet and I can't get into the ship's memory banks yet.

Mr. Spock was kinda scary at first because he's really really tall and looks like he could step on a puppy and not be sorry about it after. Turns out he ain't like that at all. He's real logical. I'm trying to remember what he said, but it was something like that I couldn't help my friend if I was working myself to death and that Victor was in capable hands. That's not exactly it, but it made sense the way he said it. Aunt Nyota asked me if he could come by later so I can keep up my lessons in Vulcan. She said he's a real good teacher.

Uncle Jim _is_ weird. I don't think I can explain to you what "rock out" means, so you'll have to ask him. I haven't got to talk to him much since they got here, but I reckon he's busy. Daddy says he comes by a lot, but I'm always sleeping.

Anyway, I gotta get. Daddy's standing right in front of me with his arms crossed and his eyebrow up and a hypospray in his hand. I got a feeling he's gonna sedate me again. I'm going to tell him that I object, but I don't think that'll stop him.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I am consistently surprised (pleasantly so) by your ability to accurately and concisely summarize your thoughts on emotional expression. This is a talent I do not possess. I do, indeed, "feel it on the inside," as you say.

Since the completion of my kahs-wan, my guardians have not attempted to find a new bond-mate for me and I have been progressing in my studies at a reasonable pace. I completed _Major Tom and the Dilithium Dilemma_ , but I am waiting to discuss the events of the story until you have also completed it. I have heard many things about Commander Spock, but never that he was "scary." Curious. My guardians both hold him in high regard for his actions during the attack on our home planet and show disdain for his heritage, as though he were able to rescue the Elders _in spite of_ the fact that he is half-human. I find this point of view illogical. It is my opinion that he was able to save so many of us _because of_ his human heritage. The opinion is not well-formed because of a lack of information. I only know that he is the only Vulcan to have turned down acceptance to the Vulcan Science Academy and that he did so in order to attend Starfleet Academy. I do not know the reason, but he chose to live as a Vulcan among humans. Now that I know it is possible, perhaps I can do the same when I have completed my regular course of studies here. But this is several years in the future for me, so it is illogical to make such plans until my basic studies are closer to completion. None can know what the future may hold.

The length and syntax of your letter is consistent with those I received before your ordeal and so I must surmise that your health is improving. Do you recall your offer to steal a Federation starship in order to ensure my safety? I must return the sentiment. Were it possible for me to do so, I, too, would have commandeered a vessel for purposes of retrieving you, in spite of regulations that prevent me from doing so. I was not "worried" or "scared" as such, but I was concerned. You are my only friend and though it is not logical in the least, I do not give permission for you to be harmed in any way.

Are you going to be on Earth in time for the summer program? I have already submitted my application.

Peace and long life,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

I don't rightly know if I'll be back on Earth in time. I surely hope so! Daddy took the tube out this morning and I'm eating real food again. Well, it ain't Mama's cooking, but it'll do. I had some oatmeal with applesauce in it and cinnamon on top. Miss Christine is so sweet to me and let me have honey on it and gave me a chocolate bar for later. Daddy fussed about the chocolate bar, but she gave him what-for and let me have it anyway. I like her.

Rachel and Mei Lien beamed up to the ship today with all my stuff. They're here right now. Everybody says, "Tonk'peh, Savas!" Anyway, Mei Lien says that Victor's doing much better now and that he's awake and everything. I'm gonna ask Daddy if it's okay to go to the planet to see him. Daddy says I can leave medbay tonight and that he's gonna get a little bed for me to set up in his quarters. He's down on the planet right now and I think I might sneak out and show Mei Lien the engine room. I gotta find it first. I'm gonna go for now 'cause Mr. Chekov, I mean Dyadya, is here.

Don't you worry, Savas, I won't do anything dumb.

Ll&p  
-Jo

\---

Dear Savas,

Dyadya and Uncle Scotty are my favorite uncles in the whole universe (except for Uncle Jim), even though they're not really my uncles and I can't understand about half of what either of them is saying. Miss Christine pretended not to be watching me when Dyadya snuck us out to see the ship. He showed us the transporter room where he saved Mr. Sulu and Uncle Jim. I saw it before when we beamed up, but he wanted to tell the story, so we listened to it anyway 'cause he was so excited. Then we went to the engine room. I thought Mei Lien was gonna _DIE_. I think she's still having sandwiches with Uncle Scotty. Anyway, we were halfway to the bridge when Uncle Scotty commed Dyadya to tell him that Daddy and Uncle Jim were beaming up, so I didn't get to see the bridge, but we didn't get in trouble or anything. I'm plum wore out now, but boy, howdy, that was fun!

Then, Daddy and Uncle Jim came back and I was all tucked up on the biobed, playing chess with Dyadya like I was being good and Uncle Jim introduced himself to Rachel and I thought she was gonna bust, she was so excited. To tell you the truth, I'm just glad they weren't all kissyface in front of her. That would have been embarrassing. She's still here, but she's got to go back down to the planet soon. She says to tell you "Tonk'peh" again.

I'll ask Mr. Spock about the Science Academy when I see him. He's supposed to come by after dinner so I can have a lesson. I'll let you know how it goes, okay?

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo


	34. Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some ghosts will never die, but Jim Kirk and Kevin Riley fight the devil in their own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> horoscope taken directly from cafeastrology.com  
> Chekov's sig line reads: For a great ship, a great journey. -Russian proverb.

Personal Log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
10.3.2260 23:01FST

I can't.  
I can't.  
I can't.

I just... can't go see her like that.

Thirty-six dead, ten just kids. The rest of them looking like ghosts, like they hadn't eaten in weeks. Scotty didn't know about Riley, what he'd seen, and took him down to to the planet with the Engineering crew. They beamed him up six minutes after they'd beamed down. I've never seen a man crumple and shut down like that. He's in his quarters, praying, I think. Bones said it was the best thing for him.

I _know_ Kodos is dead. I saw him fucking die in front of me and I thought that maybe that would be the end of it. I can be choked nearly to death twice in one day, nearly sucked into a black hole, chased by a giant ice bug, hunted by a lizard man, shot at by Klingons and face death in more ways than I can count on both hands, but I can't go see a little girl in sickbay without freaking out? I see the tube in her arm and it's just this blind panic and cold sweat like I have to get away, but I can't.

Bones is calling it PTSD, but he's not putting it in my chart. I have to be stronger than this.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
11.3.2260 09:18FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]  
[Proceed?] Y

Jim,

She's awake now. The sedatives have got her woozy still, but she asked for you. I'm not going to push things, but she wants to see you.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
11.3.2260 09:22FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Bones,

Can't.  
I don't want her to see me freaking out.  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
11.3.2260 09:25FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,  
I'll tell her you're busy. It's not far from the truth. You want me to let you know when she's asleep?  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
11.3.2260 09:32FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Bones,  
Yeah. We can do the breathing thing, that kind of almost worked.  
-J

P.S. My horoscope today sucks:

This is a good time to speak up and clear the air of any grievances you have been holding on to for some time. Personal subjects are the topic of discussion now. Reminiscing, remembering, daydreaming about and reflecting on the past is likely.

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
11.3.2260 09:36FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,  
I've got casualty reports to write and a shitload of work to do. I'll get back to you as soon as I get some of this taken care of.  
-B

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
11.3.2260 11:58FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,  
Try this on for size:

Dear Capricorn,  
You're dealing with some pretty damned heavy personal shit right now, but with the love and support of someone close to you, you'll get through it. Let yourself take comfort in the fact that you're surrounded by people who love the real you and draw on that for strength.

Jo's asleep now and she'll be out for several hours, so you can come on down whenever you're ready.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
11.3.2260 12:19FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Bones,

You write the best horoscopes. I'll be there in a minute.  
-J

\---

Hey, kiddo!  
Sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up, but I'm here now. You're sleeping, so I'm leaving a message for you to read when you feel up to it. I talked to your boyfriend. He's pretty worried about you, so don't forget to send him a message so he doesn't freak out. Vulcans mostly freak out on the inside, but if it gets bad enough, he might freak out on the outside and trust me, that's a _bad thing_. I've already let him know you're okay, but I can tell he's not going to believe me until he hears from you.  
Anyway, you rest and get better, okay? That's an order, cadet.  
Love,  
-Uncle Jim

\---

Personal Log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
11.3.2260 23:06FST

Today was better, but I still felt like I was going to throw up and pass out. The first time I went to see her tonight, I pretty much lost it. Bones let me freak out in his office where no one would see me and he was there the whole time. By the third time, I could almost get a meter away and we talked about exactly what her treatment is, something about filtering toxins from her blood and delivering calories to her system. It was a lot of medical jargon, but he made me feel like we're doing something. He makes me feel safe, like Sam used to. I left her a note so I hope she doesn't think I'm an asshole for not going to see her in person. She might still, I don't know.

I saw Kevin there. I don't think he saw me, but I watched him sit next to her with his rosary while Bones was explaining her treatment. I quit believing a long time ago, partly because of what happened on Tarsus, but there was something so peaceful about watching him pray. This crew is doing something to me. Bones is doing something to me. I dove into whatever this is with him head-first, following my instincts, that pull from the gut, and now? It's uncharted territory. I was like Romeo who had lost the love of a thousand Rosalines, not knowing that the star to guide me home was right in front of me.

Geez, I must be tired. I'm waxing poetic about Bones. If he knew I was comparing him to Juliet, he'd do the eyebrow thing and give me the look. I can hear him now, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a fourteen-year-old girl!" Heh. He has _no_ idea how sexy that is.

\---

  
To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
12.3.2260 10:08FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,

Jo's awake again and she asked for you. She also has asked me to tell you that Savas is _not_ her boyfriend.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.3.2260 10:19FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Bones,

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. How's she doing?  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
12.3.2260 10:27FST  
[Off-Record: Message not stored in ship's memory banks.]

Jim,

Better, but not ready to be off the tube yet. She's writing to her Vulcan friend now. I'll let her finish before I sedate her again. It'll be another couple of days before she can eat real food, but she's taking to the treatment like a champ. I'll let you know when she's sleeping so we can continue with _your_ treatment. Don't try and weasel out of it, either.  
-B

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: Lt. Riley, Kevin T.  
12.3.2260 10:32FST

Captain,

Request permission to beam down to the planet to assist the Engineering crew.  
-Lt. Riley

\---

To: Lt. Riley, Kevin T.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.3.2260 10:43FST

Lieutenant Riley,  
Report to sickbay and if Dr. McCoy gives you a clean bill of health, proceed to the bridge. If he gives the go-ahead, you can accompany me dirtside this afternoon.  
-Cpt. Kirk

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
12.3.2260 10:55FST

Jim,

Just saw Lt. Riley. What's this I hear about an away team to the planet?  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.3.2260 11:02FST

Bones,  
Sorry, I just got word of this a few minutes ago and didn't have a chance to send you a message. There's a problem with food distribution. I've got to go down to the planet and smooth a few ruffled feathers. It's nothing I can't handle. Is Riley good to go?  
-J

\---

To: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
12.3.2260 11:08FST

Jim,  
He's right as rain. If he gets into trouble, talk him through it the way I taught you. Remember, these fears are completely irrational, so make sure he feels safe before you try to appeal to any logical or rational thought processes. Love you, Jim. Be safe down there and comm if there's trouble, I'll beam down myself if I need to.  
-B

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.3.2260 11:10FST

Bones,  
I promise I'll come by right after we're done dirtside. Love you, too! Gotta go!  
XXOO  
-J

\---

To: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
12.3.2260 11:52FST

Dr. McCoy,

It is very boring on the bridge. Lieutenant Sulu and I have a break period soon. May we come to sick bay to see Miss Joanna? I have heard much about her from Lieutenant Uhura and would very much like to meet her. I hope this is not too strange?

Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andreievich  
Большо́му кораблю́ - большо́е пла́вание.  
-Русская пословица.

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: CMO Lt. Cmdr. McCoy, Leonard H.  
12.3.2260 11:58FST

Chekov,

She's awake now, so you can come on down to sickbay. I can't let you stay long, but she'll welcome visitors right now.  
-McCoy

\---

Dear Mama,

Daddy says I'm doing much better today and that I can have the tube out tomorrow. I'm sorry for cussing, but I don't even remember writing anything. I hope I didn't say anything too weird. I've been having weird dreams, like the one I had last night. I think it was last night. Heck, Mama, I don't even know what day it is anymore because I've been sleeping so much. Anyway, in the last dream I had, I was in the engine room of the Enterprise and Uncle Jim poured beer out of a tank and gave it to Daddy. I don't even wanna _know_ what my subconscious was trying to tell me! I think it might be a side-effect of the sedatives, but every time I ask, Daddy puts me to sleep again. He says I've got toxins in my blood still and I need to sleep a lot so my body can get rid of them. I don't know how it works and I can't get into the ship's computer to find out. I'll figure it out. I'm too tired to bother with it much right now anyway.  
I'm kinda mad because I was taking care of my friend, Victor, and Daddy and Uncle Jim beamed me up to the ship. Beaming feels weird and it freaks me out a little because it's like you don't exist for a minute. Anyway, Mr. Spock said it was illogical to try and help Victor if I was too sick to do him any good. I asked him if it was like Gram says that you can't pour from an empty pitcher. He said it was, so I let them take me to the Enterprise. I'm still worried about Victor, though. I hope he's okay.  
Miss Uhura came to see me earlier today and she cussed out whoever built the subspace array on Cerberus and do you know what? She said I could call her Aunt Nyota and she brought me chocolate pudding. I snuck a couple bites when Daddy wasn't looking.  
Miss Roberta _is_ Bill and Lenny's mama, remember? Her shop was closed for Chanukah when Bill and Lenny were out of school. We should visit them some time at Chanukah so I can tell Savas all about it. He'd like that.  
I gotta get. I got a visitor.  
Love you, Mama!  
-Jo

\---

Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
12.3.2260 23:19FST

I took Riley down to the planet today. I could tell how hard it was for him to do what he did, but he did it. "This is my devil, Captain," he told me, "and I've got to beat it in my own way or it'll haunt me for the rest of my life." I thought I was supposed to be the one leading them. Once we worked out the distribution problems, he and I spent some time physically putting E-rations in people's hands. I pitched it as a P.R. move to let people know that the Federation cares about them and has everything under control, and it worked. We've done this once before, on Cygnia Minor, but their security people were much more organized than they are here and it was simply a matter of bringing them the necessary supplies and making sure they had medical support where it was needed. We needed that, to be on the other side of things, to help people. I don't know.

There was a woman there, she must have been in her thirties, and she had two kids with her - little kids that by some miracle were still alive. I thought Riley was going to lose it, but he looked her in the eye and told her that it was going to be okay. She thanked him and held their rations like they were gold. He saved his freaking out for later when we were packing up and before I could take him aside, Cupcake was there, making sure he was okay. I never figured him to be the compassionate type, but I saw it with my own eyes.

I remember Tarsus. I remember more than I want to and I thought that with the death of Kodos it would all just go away, but I don't think it ever will. It's as much a part of humanity as the Eugenics Wars or the Holocaust and if we forget these, we dishonor the memory of the ones who died too soon. I want to push it away, to forget, but if I do, I'll be killing them all over again. I haven't been to a Passover Seder since I was fifteen and we always read this long list of horrible things that were done to the Jews since we supposedly left Egypt. I always hated it. Why open such old wounds? But that's not what that's about. It's about remembering so that it doesn't happen again. I'm going to do it this year - Pesach, that is. I'll probably fuck it up, but I've got to. I've got to remember. I'll invite Spock - he's practically one of us anyway after what he's been through.

It's been a hell of a day. I saw Jo when we got back. I haven't got this thing beat yet and I don't know if I ever will, but I sat next to her this time and held her little hand. She's so small and looked so fragile sleeping there on the biobed, like the least little thing could break her, like a porcelain doll. I don't know how Bones does it or Sam, either. I just want to protect her from everything bad ever, which is impossible. There's a lot of bad out there. I'd go crazy or make her crazy or both.

I told Bones what Riley said about beating the devil and I'm going to do it in my own way, but I know I won't be doing it alone.

I've got some stuff to take care of in the morning with planetary officials and Pike tells me that the Potemkin is on the way, so we'll be done in just a few days. I'll be glad to see the ass end of this week, that's for sure.

\---

[UNN News Feed: 13 March, 2260]  
>Anheuser-Busch to propose improved engine room design for next generation of starships.  
>Author E. Lowe publishes next book in Gaia's Island series.  
>Comcast under investigation by Federation Communications Commission for negligence in inspection protocols.  
>Cerberus death toll at 36. Federation aid saves thousands. Officials from Bureau of Agricultural Affairs dispatched to determine origin of pathogen.

\---

Dear Jo,

I am not allowed chocolate until I have reached the age of majority and even then, consumption is closely regulated. I hope, however, that you enjoy your chocolate bar and I am pleased that you are well enough for solid food. Plomeek soup, if it is available, is quite satisfying during a time of illness. My research has revealed that the human equivalent is "chicken soup," but since you are vegetarian, that would not be the most logical choice.

I was considering the nature of your ordeal and it is not unlike the kahs-wan in several ways. You were parted from your parents, without sufficient nutrition, and your hardship required the use of logic to overcome. Not only did you survive, but you saved the life of another. That is far more admirable than that which I endured. I had none but myself to protect and feed. Based on my own experience and taking into account that which you endured during your time on Cerberus, I calculated that the probability of you surviving a traditional kahs-wan to be approximately 76.3%. An average human female in your age group would have a survival rate of less than 43.8%, using the most generous calculations.

I am fascinated by the cultural make-up of the Enterprise crew. There is much diversity amongst the human members of the crew and there are many non-humans as well. Ensign Chekov is from Russia, is he not? And Lieutenant Commander Scott is from Scotland? Perhaps you can assist me in acquiring additional cultural information. I am curious to know what commonalities allow them to serve together without conflict.

Tell your friends that I greet them in return and that I wish them peace and long life. I have readied my chess board for another game and await your first move.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,  
I'm in Daddy's room now. He's fussing over putting all my things away, so just a short letter 'til we go to dinner with Uncle Jim. I asked Mr. Spock about the Science Academy and he said that it was just logical for him to go where he could do the most good. He said he likes science and all, but that sometimes people get set in their ways and he wanted to hear new ideas from all different kinds of people. I asked him if it was because of IDIC and he said it was. I also asked if his mama and daddy were dissappointed that he didn't go to school on Vulcan and he said his mama told him once that she'd always be proud. She was human. Then I asked him if he had a hard time not being all Vulcan and he said he did, a little bit. I like him. He's nice and he doesn't talk to me like I'm a dumb kid.

I'll see what I can do about your cultural information. I don't know how long I'm going to be here, but I'll see if I can talk to Dyadya and Uncle Scotty if they've got the time and maybe some other people, too, but I don't want to bother anybody too much when they're working. Maybe Daddy will let me help in sickbay. Dyadya says he's going to ask Uncle Jim if I can sit on his lap and drive. I'd probably crash us into something, but it would be neat to see the bridge anyway.

I gotta go. Uncle Jim is here.  
EW!

They just kissed in front of me. I think I might throw up on them.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

P.S. How come you can't have chocolate?

\---

Personal log: Cpt. Kirk, James T.  
13.3.2260 22:56FST

I take back everything I said about Jo being fragile. I overheard her talking to Spock while I was in sickbay going over some stuff with Bones and - wow. She doesn't pull her punches. Last time _I_ asked him about his mom, he kind of almost killed me. I haven't brought it up since. She's more like a tiny little Bones than I could have imagined and man, she makes the _best_ faces. Once or twice, she and Bones made the exact same face at the exact same time and it's like I've won a brand new planet!

Her friend, Rachel, is a bit of a spaz, but it's kinda cute. I signed her poster for her, which I'm pretty sure made her entire decade by the way she could barely contain her fangirl glee. And we had to practically get a crowbar and a laser cutter to extract the Canadian girl from Scotty's side. When we got to Engineering, they'd eaten a half a plate full of what had once been roast beef sandwiches with spicy brown mustard and almost all of what looked like french fries with gravy. Who puts gravy on french fries, really? They were deep into a discussion about hockey or physics or warp cores, I'm not entirely sure which, but it was very animated. I almost hated to tear them apart.

At dinner, Chekov asked if he could show Jo how to break orbit when it was time to leave. He gave me the big eyes. Then she gave me the big eyes. I'm going to cave, I just know it, but I told them I'd think about it. If I ever had kids, I'd be the worst parent ever.

Kid: Can I have a cookie?  
Me: No.  
Kid: O.O  
Me: Okay, here's a cookie.

Because I'm a sucker. Things are starting to return to normal now, or as normal as it gets around here. We'll should be taking our very precious cargo back to Earth pretty soon, but I won't know until we get our orders. She probably misses her mom.  



	35. Dear Savas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Joanna McCoy and Savas, son of Varin were spies, the Federation wouldn't stand a chance.

Dear Savas,

I got to go down to the planet and see Victor today. He's still on tubes, but he's awake now and Mei Lien said she'd take care of him 'til they get back to Earth. They're all going on the Potemkin in a little while, but I'm going on the Enterprise with Daddy, of course. I think I said that already. Anyway, Victor said I saved his life and I thought he was exaggerating, but Daddy said that I really did save his life and he told me about the pathogen in the water and how it multiplied more in the water than in the food and there was something about how the toxin ate up whatever we tried to eat. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but anyway, we coulda eaten all day long and never got any nutrition from it. Anyway, 'cause I sterilized Victor's water (and mine, and Mei Lien's, and Rachel's too), we didn't get as sick as the other kids. At first the nurses that were taking care of Victor said I was being- I can't remember the word, but it means that you always think you've got some disease or another and you're paranoid about germs.

Hypochondriac!

That's the word I meant. I knew if I thought about it long enough, it'd come to me. Mama used to say that Daddy was a hypochondriac, but I don't know how you could be and be a doctor at the same time.

Anyway, we leave tomorrow and Uncle Jim said that I could help Dyadya take us out of orbit. Dyadya says that I have to make sure to tell Uncle Hikaru to disengage the external inertial dampeners before we break orbit 'cause sometimes he forgets. Daddy didn't want to let me because what if I crashed the ship into something? But Dyadya said he'd help me and we both asked please, so Uncle Jim said yes.

I found out today that Dyadya don't eat bacon 'cause he's Jewish. We had bacon with breakfast - well, I didn't have any, but there was bacon there anyway, and Dyadya only got eggs and toast and coffee and doughnuts and a glass of orange juice and a glass of milk and a muffin with nuts in it and some fruit. Uncle Hikaru had pancakes and Uncle Jim had a big ol' pile of bacon - so much that Daddy said he had to give some to Mr. Riley. Mr. Riley's Irish, so he can eat bacon.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

d2-d4

\---

Dear Jo,

Fascinating. I had not considered other forms of dietary restriction amongst humans. I have many questions, but perhaps you can ask him why he does not eat bacon and he will explain his reasoning to you. I have not had much time for research lately. The instructors at my primary school recommended a more intensified study program now that my emotional control has strengthened and I have successfully completed the kahs-wan. I have not yet adjusted to the new schedule, but I still have a few hours of unstructured time each day that I can use for continuing my research on human cultures.

I am not permitted chocolate until I reach the age of majority because it is an intoxicant for Vulcans. We are particularly sensitive to the phenethylamiline present in small amounts. We do not metabolize this chemical in the same way as humans and even small amounts cause euphoria by causing the release of norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain. This is not conducive to the study of logic. I hope this explanation is satisfactory. I do not know what the difference between Vulcan and human metabolism is that causes such a reaction, only that a difference exists. Perhaps it is an enzyme of some sort?

I do not know if my mother would be "proud" as Commander Spock's mother had been, but perhaps she would want me to pursue a career that was best suited to my skills. That is the most logical course of action and my mother was a logical woman. I believe that T'Lia cares for me, but she is not my mother and I am not her son. I have not touched minds with her since before my kahs-wan and I fear that because my mind was so disjointed at the time that the experience was unpleasant for her. Although, in the past few weeks, Sovess has begun to touch the back of my hand when he approves of something I do and at seemingly random intervals. He also did so when I was concerned for your well-being and reassured me that a lack of information could only be solved by seeking out a source of more information. This surprised me at first, but it is... I do not know the right word to express it. "Comforting" is close. We have begun to form a rudimentary connection that is similar to that which I had with my own parents, though not as strong.

How are your Vulcan language lessons progressing?

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

d7-d5

\---

Dear Savas,

MR. SPOCK KISSED AUNT NYOTA ON THE MOUTH!

See, this morning, Aunt Nyota came by to fix my hair, even though I said it wasn't necessary, but she wanted to, so it was alright. She put it up in a french braid. Anyway, Daddy had already gone to sickbay before I woke up, so she was going to take me to breakfast. We met Mr. Spock in the turbolift and HE KISSED HER RIGHT ON THE LIPS!! Then he said hello to me in Vulcan and I said hi back and he asked me if I was going to breakfast, which is a dumb question because where else would I be going? Anyway he asked it in Vulcan, so I said something back which was all wrong and he corrected it. I was embarrassed, but he said he knew what I meant, so that means I did good.

I saw Dyadya at breakfast and asked him about the bacon and he said that a real long time ago, when the Jews were wandering around in the desert, they got a bunch of rules about what to eat and what to wear and how to talk to God and how to behave and even though they don't need most of them nowadays, he tries to follow the rules because it's tradition and makes him think of his family and feel like he's right with God. He also said that pigs were gross and disgusting animals and then Uncle Jim said that bacon tasted good and then Dyadya made a face. I think the less I eat meat, the less I like it - any of it.

I went to the bridge with Dyadya and Mr. Sulu, who like to be early, but Uncle Jim had to come along too 'cause he wanted to be the first one to show me it because it's his favorite part of the ship. I told him that I should have a shirt like his if I was going to operate a starship and that it was only proper. He asked me what color I wanted and I couldn't decide between a blue one like Daddy's or a gold one like his, so he got me a blue one because of being Victor's attending medical technician. I'm still wearin' it. After I got my shirt, I got to sit in Uncle Jim's chair and he showed me all the stations and I got to listen to subspace transmissions and I got to see the science station and everything. Then I sat on Dyadya's lap and he showed me where everything was where he works. It was _so cool_! Daddy came up before we had to break orbit and then I told Uncle Hikaru about the inertial dampeners and everybody laughed and even Uncle Hikaru smiled a little bit.

I have no idea what that was about.

Anyway, we had to wait until Uncle Jim said so because he's the captain and then Dyadya showed me how to break orbit. Uncle Hikaru did half the work and Dyadya let me push all the buttons. I think I did pretty good because we didn't crash into anything. We're going to Denobula. I got to punch in our heading and then Daddy took me to lunch. We spent the rest of the day in sickbay and I got to help a little bit, but mostly I was bored. I asked Daddy about Vulcans and chocolate and he said it was probably an enzyme or something that we've got and you don't, so you were probably right.

I don't know how Vulcan families are, but I think maybe Sovess wants to show you that he wants to be as much your daddy as he can be, even though he ain't really your daddy. Maybe T'Lia will come around one of these days. Did they have kids before? You never told me much about them.

Live long and Prosper,  
-Jo

e2-e3

\---

> Did you put her up to that?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] put who up to what?  
> The crack about the inertial dampeners.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] maybe - your face was very funny  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] HAHA! Your face is still very funny! Admit it, you thought it was funny too.  
> maybe... a little.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] I saw you smiling.  
> okay, yeah. That was pretty good. You're so mean to me!  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Eh. You like it when I am mean to you.  
> do not.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Do so! it is part of my charm.  
> you _are_ charming. That, I will admit.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] All very true.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] I MISS JO ALREADY! ;___;  
> It's been what, an entire minute since she left the bridge?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] 5 minutes, 38 seconds, Hikaru. She is so smart and fun. When we have babies, they should be like Joanna.  
> Um, Pavel, don't you think it's a bit too soon to be thinking about kids?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] don't be rediculous! I am not getting younger, you know! Mama is almost forty and she will want grandchildren.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] *ridiculous, sorry  
> You're eighteen.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] I know! So we must get started right away, but for now, we will take care of our little Yaninka.  
> ??  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Joanna = Yaninka.  
> Aaah.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Why are you strange with her? Is she not the best little Yaninka _ever_?! she plays chess - CHESS, Hikaru! How many little girls you know play chess?  
> Considering that the only other little girls I know are my sisters, that would be none.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] so why are you weird?  
> about Jo?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Yes, about Jo!  
> I don't know. She just... intimidates me.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] you are dumb.  
> Don't give me that look, Pavel! I am not dumb!  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] yes, you are. and do not look at me like this. You jumped through space and killed Romulans with a sword, but you are scared of a little girl? She will not bite you. She even said so.  
> It's not that. I mean, what if I do something that she doesn't like or I don't know, I feel like I'm going to break her or something.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] you are dumb. You will not break Yaninka. If you break Yaninka, Dr. McCoy will break you. And then there will be a line of people to break you and I will be in it.  
> That's not reassuring, Pavel.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] She is tough, like her papa. You will not break her. Maybe you can sho her your flowers.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] *show her, sorry. I cannot spell today.  
> What if she thinks they're stupid?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] she will not. She is a girl. Girls like flowers.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] What? is truth. Girls like flowers.  
> I like flowers.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] So?  
> Are you saying I'm a girl?  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] you are being ridiculous! Of course not! After shift, ask Dr. McCoy if you may take her to see your flowers. I will go with you and protect you from the little girl  
> Alright. Kirk is watching - look busy.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] Aye, sir. Looking busy. Hapy to.  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] *Happy* to. конец!! It is easier to spell in Cyrillic! Stupid казака́ Roman letters!  
> I'm guessing those are not things that I could say to your mother (even if I _could_ read it)  
[Ens. Chekov, P.] If you call Mama a Cossack, she will hit you.  
> Duly noted.

\---

Dear Jo,

Are you certain you saw Mr. Spock kissing Lieutenant Uhura with his lips? That is... atypical, but I do not wish to inquire further into the matter. Fascinating, but perhaps too personal to pursue, even in the interests of cultural exchange. I am pleased, however, that your study of the Vulcan language continues to progress.

What do the Irish eat? You mentioned that Mr. Riley is Irish and that he will eat bacon, but do the Irish have dietary restrictions?

I spoke with Sovess in regards to what his life was like on Vulcan. I had not asked before because I had assumed that they did not wish to speak of it. I learned that Sovess and T'Lia were not bonded to each other before and that Sovess had not yet become a father. T'Lia had one child. Sovess is an electrical engineer and T'Lia is employed at the Cultural Center. Their occupations were very much the same on Vulcan. After our planet was destroyed, adults were paired based on a mathematical probability of success in a pair-bond and then the remaining children, myself included, were matched with adult pairs. I do not think the same care was taken in estimating a successful match between children and pair-bonded adults.

My application to the summer program is still pending. I would very much like to see Earth again - and you, of course, but I do not know if my application will be approved. I hope you will be on Earth in time.

Live long and Prosper,  
-Savas

Ng8-f6

\---

Dear Savas,

I hope so, too! Then you can ask me and Uncle Chris and anybody you want to about Earth cultures and stuff and we can talk in Vulcan and meditate together and it'll be great!

I was thinkin' about it and you know what? I had a lot of trouble sleeping on the ship to Cerberus, but I sleep pretty good on the Enterprise. I miss my own bed, though, and Mama's cooking and Hippocrates. I don't miss Luanne, though. Reckon she misses having someone to pick on?

Yesterday, Uncle Hikaru took me to the botany lab and the arboretum. I had no idea you could grow so many things on a starship! He's got flowers and stuff from all over the universe and stuff from Earth, too! He's even got trees! He and Dyadya were a little bit kissyface, but not like Aunt Nyota! That messed me up, seeing a Vulcan kiss on the lips. You're right, too. I don't even want to ask about it.

I saw Mr. Riley at dinner, though, and asked him about what the Irish eat and you know what he said? Potatoes and cabbage. He also said that the Irish will eat whatever they get a-hold of on accounta they ain't picky. He also said he eats fish on fridays because he was raised by nuns in Canada. I asked if they eat a lot of fish in Canada and he said they did, but he eats fish on Friday because it's an old custom that Catholics used to have and that's what the nuns made him do when he lived there and now he's just used to doing it that way. I'm learning lots of new stuff, so you got any more questions I can ask?

I got two hypotheses you can test if you wanna. The first one is that maybe if you used the same math as your guardians did to figure out which little Vulcan girl you should bond with, you'd find somebody you could get along with okay. The second one is that maybe T'Lia doesn't want to talk about stuff with you because she misses her little boy or little girl that she lost.

Uncle Jim said that we're going to watch Julius Caesar today.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

c2-c3

\---

Dear Jo,

What manner of plants does Lt. Sulu keep? Why does he keep them? Is this part of his duties on the Enterprise? I have more questions than you may be able to answer. Your environment includes such a broad cross-section of human cultures that I do not know where to begin. Perhaps you can tell me something of Lt. Uhura. Where is she from? What customs are important to her? What foods does she eat? I would also like to hear about Julius Caesar. A cursory search has provided me with the information that he was an emperor of Earth's ancient Roman Empire from 100 BCE to 44 BCE. Curiously, his death date is yesterday. Is this figure significant to Captain Jim?

I would like to attempt to prepare Irish food, but I do not know in what way the potatoes and cabbage should be cooked or if they should be eaten raw somehow? Perhaps Mr. Riley will know? I hope I am not burdening you with so many questions.

As for your hypotheses, the first has been attempted, but with no success. I have not tested the second.

I have much work to do this evening. I'm to assist T'Lia in cleaning our household and I must write a paper about the history of Vulcan prior to the Enlightenment.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

e7-e6

\---

Dear Savas,

I'm in sickbay right now, mostly being bored out of my brain. I ain't sick or anything. I'm sitting in Daddy's office. Daddy just doesn't want me to wander around the ship without a grownup with me even though I know how to ask for directions and use a turbolift by myself. I ain't a baby, you know! I asked Daddy if I could visit with Dyadya and Uncle Hikaru tonight. Aunt Nyota showed me how to use the intership comm system so I can send messages to people. I've got my own account and everything! I don't want to bother anybody, but maybe I can get some of your questions answered while I'm sitting here being bored.

Let me see what I can find out and I'll send you another message tonight, okay?

Ll&p  
-Jo

Ng1-e2

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 09:22FST

Hi Dyadya! I hope I ain't bothering you. I know you've got things to do. I just wanted to ask you if you could ask Uncle Hikaru what plants he's got 'cause Savas wanted to know.

What are we going to do tonight?  
Love,  
-Jo

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
16.3.2260 09:25FST

YANINKA!! I miss you on the bridge! You should come navigate with me - I will show you how. It is very easy. You will make a good navigator one day, I think. As for Hikaru, you should ask him yourself. I don't know anything about plants. He will be glad you like his flowers.

Tonight, I think we can go to the Stellar Cartography lab after dinner and I will show you my stars or maybe the observation deck? We could play chess, too! What do you want to do? Later, I will read to you _The Little Prince_. You will like it. It was my favorite book when I was small. You could read it yourself, I know, but I want to read it to you like my papa read it to me. Do you know this book?

If your papa says "okay," you can stay with us for the night and I will do the tucking in. Okay?

Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел  
(This says: "Uncle Pavel" in case you don't know. Maybe I teach you Russian also?)

Ensign Chekov, Pavel Andreievich  
Большо́му кораблю́ - большо́е пла́вание.  
-Русская пословица.  
(This says: "For a great ship - a great journey. -Russian proverb. Like the Enterprise! A very great ship!)

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 09:33FST

What's yaninka mean? Does it mean "niece?" 'Cause that would make sense if I call you "Uncle." Daddy won't let me leave without a grownup, so I can't go to the bridge. Besides, I don't want to get in the way.

We can do whatever you want to do, I don't mind. I never read The Little Prince. What's it about?

Daddy said it was fine as long as I'm not bothering you.

Love,  
-Yaninka Jo

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
16.3.2260 09:38FST

No, no, no! Ha-ha! "Yaninka" means you. It is like a nickname for Joanna. My nickname is Pasha (but only Mama and Babushka call me this) and Hikaru is Hikarushka (I had to make that one up). Niece is "племя́нница" so I say Племя́нница Яника - you see? It is easy.

You are very smart and do not need to hold hands with grownups all the time. >:| But we will do what your Papa says, okay? I do not want you to be in trouble.

The Little Prince is about a prince and a flower and a very small planet. That is all. You will like it.

-Дя́дя Павел

\---

To: Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 09:35FST

Savas wants to know what kinds of plants you've got. Dyadya said to ask you.  
Love,  
-Jo

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 09:41FST

I can't read your letters, Dyadya. I don't know which ones make what sounds. Do you know Mr. Riley? I want to ask him about potatoes.  
Love,  
-Yaninka

P.S. I like that name! It sounds neat.

\---

To: Lt. Uhura, N.  
From McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 09:45FST

Aunt Nyota,  
I hope I'm not bothering you. Savas wants to know where you're from and what your customs are and what foods you eat. You don't have to answer if you're busy.  
Love,  
Jo

\---

> you have a message from Yaninka.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I see it.  
> So? Answer it!  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] what do I say?  
> I am not writing it for you  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] but I don't know what to say  
> fine. you say, Dear Yaninka, so nice to hear from you  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] should I call her "Yaninka?" That's kind of your thing.  
> Call her Jo, I don't care. It doesn't matter.  
> then you tell her all about your plants  
> and say at the end, "Love, Uncle Hikaru"  
> see? easy  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Just give her a list?  
> you are being ridiculous again  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I don't know how to talk to kids, Pavel.  
> I will make it easy. Pretend she is a person.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] she _is_ a person  
> exactly. Children are like people, only shorter.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] okay, here goes

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.  
16.3.2260 10:25FST

Dear Jo,

So nice to hear from you. I have several varieties of orchids, a Japanese maple, an ornamental crabapple tree, an orsic fern, some daffodils, several varieties of hyacinth, and a ratana tree. The weeper belongs to Yeoman Rand, but she lets me take care of her.

Love,  
Uncle Hikaru

\---

To: Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 10:36FST

Uncle Hikaru,  
You mean Beauregard? I think she likes me, but Beauregard's a terrible name for a girl - even a girl plant. Who ever heard of a girl named Beauregard? What's the W. stand for in your name? Do you have a list of your plants? I think Savas might want the scientific names for them so he knows what we're talking about. Is it your job to look after the plants?

I can't wait 'til our sleepover. We'll have so much fun!  
Love,  
-Jo

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Lt. Uhura, N.  
16.3.2260 11:19FST

Dear Jo,  
Sorry it took so long to get back to you, sweetie. I'll answer your questions very briefly while I have a break and we can talk more later. I was born in Kenya in the United States of Africa, so we spoke both Swahili and Standard at home. I like all kinds of chocolate, especially chocolate mousse. I also like french fries.

My favorite thing to do when I was little was to sing with my mother. She'd come up with songs in as many languages as we could think of, but my favorite will always be "Beyond Antares." I used to know a Klingon song about a mighty warrior, but I don't know if I remember the whole thing now. I'll try to remember so I can sing it for you.

Spock says you're doing really well with your lessons - you should be proud. He's a good teacher and doesn't say that very often about his students.

I've got to get back to monitoring subspace now, but I'll see you after our shift.

Love,  
-Aunt Nyota

 _I'll be back though it takes forever  
Forever is just a day.  
Forever is just another journey  
Tomorrow a stop along the way_

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
16.3.2260 11:22FST

Yaninka,  
Sorry to take so long! Sometimes I must actually work! XD  
Do not worry, I will teach you the letters. It will be easy, you will see. Why do you want to ask Riley about potatoes? I can tell you everything you need to know about potatoes. My favorite is pirozhki, but I do not know how to make them. I also like latkes for Chanukah. Riley will tell you that Irish potatoes are better than Russian potatoes. Do not believe him. Russian potatoes are much better, but if you want to ask him, write to Lt. Riley, Kevin T.

Remember - Russians make better potatoes! Do not let him fool you! He will try!

Hikaru is very excited about your visit and will tell you all about his plants this evening. I don't know anything about them.

Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 11:28FST

Dyadya,  
I'll remember, don't worry! Thanks.  
I guess I'll see you at dinner.  
Love,  
-Yaninka

\---

To: Lt. Riley, Kevin T.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
16.3.2260 11:39FST

Dear Mr. Riley,  
I hope I'm not bothering you, but my friend, Savas, wants to know about how to cook potatoes and cabbage. He wants to make Irish food for his family.  
Thanks,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Savas,

Here's what I found out:

Uncle Hikaru's got some orchids, a Japanese maple, an ornamental crabapple tree, an orsic fern, some daffodils, several varieties of hyacinth, and a ratana tree -that's exactly what he said. He also takes care of Ms. Rand's weeper plant that she calls Beauregard even though it's a girl plant. I'll tell you more later when I find out more. I'm gonna ask him tonight.

Dyadya says that Russians make the best potatoes and that he likes pirozhki and latkes. I don't know what those are, but he says you eat latkes at Chanukah. He also calls me "Yaninka" which he says is my nickname. He told me what "neice" is in Russian but I can't spell it because it's in different letters that I don't know yet. He's going to read The Little Prince to me later. I've never read it before.

Aunt Nyota was born in Kenya in Africa and grew up speaking Swahili and Standard. She likes chocolate mousse and french fries. I don't think that's African food, but she said it was her favorite. She also said that her favorite thing to do as a little girl was to sing with her mama and that she knows songs in all different languages, even Klingon! Her favorite song is "Beyond Antares."

I haven't heard back from Mr. Riley and I forgot to ask Uncle Jim about Caesar, but what we watched was a Shakespeare play, so maybe if you watched that, you would know a little bit more. Oh! and you could ask Uncle Jim yourself! Why don't you write him a letter? I bet he'd be tickled to hear from you.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

\---

[UNN News Feed: 16 March, 2260]  
>Comcast fined for negligence by FCC. Families of deceased colonists sue.  
>Cerberus pathogen a mold-bacteria symbiote, point of origin unknown. Agricultural Affairs continue investigation.  
>Spring training to begin at newly completed Winston Field for Cestus Comets. Gorn officials to attend first game.  
>City of Chicago to "Paint the town green" in tomorrow's festivities, Mayor Daley states. 


	36. Yaninka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life on the Enterprise is sometimes dull, but math is fun. Lt. Sulu makes a face.

Dear Mama,

We're on our way to Denobula still. Uncle Jim says that he's supposed to do some kind of negotiation there, but I don't really know what all it's about. I'm kinda getting used to being on the Enterprise now. In the mornings, Aunt Nyota comes and fixes my hair and takes me to breakfast because Daddy always goes to sickbay before I wake up. Then I have breakfast with her and Mr. Spock and Uncle Jim and Dyadya and Uncle Hikaru and I practice Vulcan with Mr. Spock a little bit and then Daddy comes in and has his breakfast with me. After that, Daddy takes me to sickbay and sometimes I help out. Yesterday, Mr. Riley came in and he had a torn ligament in his knee because he was trying to do yoga with Ms. Barrows 'cause he's sweet on her and Daddy let me help take his vitals and scan with his tricorder, which is much better than mine. He doesn't let me help when somebody's infectious, like when Mr. Hennigan came in with some kind of flu and was throwing up all over the place. Mr. Riley's got to stay another day, so I've been keeping him company a little bit and taking his meals to him. He gets lonely, so he's been telling me all about Ireland and stuff, which I've been telling to Savas 'cause he wants to know.

Mostly, though, I have to stay in Daddy's office and read or work on something. Sometimes I send messages to people. Dyadya says he gets real bored when there ain't nothing to do but fly straight for hours on end, so I get lots of messages back from him. Sometimes I have lunch with Daddy in his office and sometimes we go to the cafeteria. They call it the "mess," but I don't know why. After Daddy and Uncle Jim are done working, we go eat dinner and then I get a lesson with Mr. Spock for an hour and sometimes he gives me homework, but it ain't ever too hard. After that, me and Daddy and Uncle Jim do stuff together like watch movies or go to the rec room or the exercise room or something. On monday, we went to the exercise room and Uncle Hikaru was there, practicing with his sword. It was pretty amazing and I don't think I could ever do anything like that!

At nineteen hundred hours (which is seven o'clock in the evening), Dyadya comes over for a little while and reads _The Little Prince_ to me. We're almost done with the story and that little prince makes me think of Dyadya.

I'll write more tomorrow. I've still got work to do for Mr. Spock and then it's dinnertime.

Love,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Savas,

I don't know what the candles are about or what the little hat is for, but I'll ask. He said I didn't have to wear a little hat or anything because I'm a girl and I ain't married. And he says he doesn't do it every day, just once a week. Tomorrow's Friday anyway, so maybe I can spend the night at Dyadya and Uncle Hikaru's and I'll pay better attention so that I can let you know.

I ain't decided yet if Russian potatoes or Irish potatoes are better. I reckon the only logical way of finding out is to try both kinds and then decide because Dyadya and Mr. Riley are gonna keep arguing about it forever. I expect they might both be good, just different, but we won't know unless we experiment. I'll make a list of the different kinds, but I won't be able to get what I want to eat 'til I get home. Right now, I can only have what they make in the cafeteria for me. Daddy says that the cook looks at what each person needs and fixes something a little bit different for if you don't eat pork like Dyadya or if you're vegetarian or can't eat cheese or something. For breakfast, they just put a bunch of stuff out and people get what they want, but for lunch and dinner, everybody gets their own tray. I get a vegetarian tray like Mr. Spock, but it's a little bit different because I'm a growing human kid and Mr. Spock is a grownup Vulcan.

This morning, Daddy and I talked about getting me some extra lessons so that when I go back to school I'm not behind on my work. There's lots of scientists and stuff here and Uncle Jim knows about everything there is to know about history and I read a lot, so with all of that, I'll do alright when I get back in Mr. Phillip's class again.

How's things going with T'Lia? You keep saying you want to talk to her about stuff and you keep not doing it. Don't give me any bull hockey about how you ain't got time or it ain't logical for one reason or another. If you mean to find something out, you gotta just do it and not be scared about what might happen. Just ask her! She ain't gonna hate you forever just for asking a question.

Anyway, we're supposed to get to Denobula on Saturday - that's day after tomorrow. Uncle Jim says that they've got population problems and everything that comes with it. We're supposed to talk them into sending some people up to the Enterprise because they're talking about joining the Federation and if they don't do something quick to get their shit together, it ain't gonna happen. Daddy's going to talk to some of the doctors there. He says they've got some good ways to prevent infectious diseases because they live so close together all the time.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jo

Ng1-h3

\---

Sweetheart,

I miss you so much, but I know you're safe and that your daddy is taking good care of you. I'll talk to Mr. Phillips and see if I can't get him to send you a lesson plan or your schoolwork for the rest of the year. He and I are going up to some kind of a spring festival in Tennessee this weekend because they've got some kind of a poetry contest and there's meant to be handmade crafts there. I'm not sure what it's about, but he says Mrs. Milsap goes every year and that she wouldn't miss it for the world. I went to the bakery just today to get one of those braided breads and saw Miss Roberta there. She says to tell you she's thinking of you. Bill and Lenny say hi, too. I think they're a little bit jealous, but you know how boys are. They all want to be starship captains and they don't really understand how dangerous it is.

Is "Dyadya" the little Russian boy? He seems like a nice young man and it's sweet he's taken such a shine to you. Imagine - a Starfleet officer at seventeen years old! That's got to be tough on his parents and they must worry about him every day. I hope you're behaving yourself and not getting into anything you shouldn't. A starship isn't really made with children in mind, so you be careful and mind the rules. I know I've already told you, but I'm your mama and it's my job to say things like that.

Hippo misses you. He still sleeps on your bed sometimes and he's been good company. He's awful lonesome without you, so you come home quick.

Love you, baby,  
-Mama

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
23.3.2260 11:28FST

Yaninka,

I am very bored here. :| We do not approach Denobula until tomorrow, so it is only straight flying until we get closer to the system. Hikaru is also bored, so we are playing "Go Fish." I think, if it is okay with your papa, that we can finish The Little Prince tonight.

Please write to me some questions so it is not so boring.

Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
23.3.2260 11:35FST

Hi Dyadya!

I'm bored too and I already finished up my homework for Mr. Spock. Daddy says it's okay if I want to spend the night in your quarters tonight. I think he and Uncle Jim are going to have a date together. Anyway, we can finish The Little Prince and you can tell me all about Russia. I was wondering how come you wear your little hat on Fridays and what the candles are for. Savas wanted to know.

Can I ask you something about Uncle Hikaru?  
Love,  
-Yaninka

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
23.3.2260 11:43FST

Yaninka,

Ask whatever you want. I will tell you about my little hat and the candles when we are having dinner tonight. It will be easier to talk about it when I can show you.

Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
23.3.2260 12:09FST

Dyadya,

Does Uncle Hikaru like me? He seems nice and I think he's really amazing with his sword, but he doesn't talk to me like you do. I'm worried he doesn't like me.  
Daddy just now gave me some work to do so I wouldn't be behind in school when we get back to Earth.  
It's math.  
I hate math.  
I mean, I do pretty good at it, but it's no fun.  
Love,  
-Yaninka

\---

To: McCoy, Joanna R.  
From: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
23.3.2260 12:16FST

Yankinka,

:O (<\--I am really making this face.)

Do not think this! Of course he likes you! You are smart and funny and you can play chess and speak Vulcan. I do not know many grownups that can do this. There is Commander Spock and the Captain, but Commander Spock does not laugh at jokes and the Captain does not speak Vulcan. Also you are pretty, like a princess. If Hikaru does not like you, then he is stupid and I will not be his boyfriend anymore.  
Also, you are wrong. Math is very fun.

I am leaving early today, so maybe we can have ice cream and do fun maths together, okay? Hikaru will not be done until later, so it is just you and me.  
Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел

\---

To: Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.  
From: McCoy, Joanna R.  
23.3.2260 12:26FST

Dyadya,

If you say that Uncle Hikaru doesn't not like me, I believe you. I'm kinda skeptical though.  
I don't know about math being fun, Dyadya. It's multiplication with decimals and fractions, which couldn't be more boring if it tried. If you can make that fun, you'll be my friend forever. And of course Mr. Spock doesn't laugh at jokes. He's a Vulcan. He probably thinks they're illogical and even if he did think they were funny, he wouldn't laugh.

Anyway, ice cream sounds good. I'm so bored with being in Daddy's office. He's also taking too long with Crewman what's-his-head and I'm ready for lunch.  
Love,  
Yaninka

\---

[UNN News feed: 24 March, 2260  
>[Knitters raise millions](http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/tsffaq.html) to help victims of natural disaster on Ayiti III. Many still without food and shelter.  
>Famine-causing bacteria named for Kodos the Executioner in _Journal of Plant Pathology_.  
>Denobulans cite marked improvement in environmental policy in bid for Federation membership.  
>Andor favored in bid for 2264 Olympic games

\---

>What is the matter with you?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] What are you talking about?  
>You have been making a face all day  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I'm not "making a face"  
>Yes you are. You are making a grumpy face like this: >:|  
>Are you mad?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] maybe.  
>Why are you mad?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I said "maybe." That doesn't mean "yes"  
>You cannot fool me, 'Karushka. I know when you are mad.  
>you make the face.  
>the face you are making now.  
>are you going to ignore me all day?  
>you cannot ignore me.

\---

>Hikaru, even the Captain has noticed your mood. Tell me what is wrong.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] You made her cry.  
>Waht?@  
>*What?!*  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] You made Joanna cry.  
>How can youb e mad at me for this?  
>*be mad*  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Because you made a little girl cry, is how.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Why did you have to read that to her?  
>I cannot help how the story ends, Hikaru.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] but you read it to her and made her cry.  
>It is a good story. I am surprised you never read it.  
>now you are giving me the quiet treatment again  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] "silent treatment"  
>whatever.  
>It is not so sad as you think  
>He is not dead, you know.  
>The Little Prince - he is not dead  
>maybe he is back on his little planet with his rose and volcanos  
>maybe hissit  
>*maybe he is sitting next to you (I am typing bad today)  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] What?  
>I said I am typing bad today.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] no- did you just say you were the Little Prince?  
>maybe.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] That's...  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] not the weirdest thing you've ever said  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] but it's right up there  
>How do you know I am not?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] You are so weird.  
>Oh, and you never pretended to be someone else?  
>Ha-ah  
>*ha-ha*  
>You are blushing  
>Who did you pretend to be?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Athos.  
>I don't know this "athos" what is it?  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] He's a "who" not a "what"  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] He's one of the musketeers  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] you've never heard of the MusketeerS?  
>no.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Okay, yeah, you're deprived  
>you knew this already.  
>You tell me, "Pavel, you have a deprived mind"  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] "depraved," baby, "depraved"  
>do not call me "baby" at work  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] okay, okay - anyway, since you're done reading the most depressing book in the universe, I can read it to her.  
>Yaninka would like that. Then she will not think you don't like her  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] What?!  
>Don't worry about it. Also, it is not the most depressing thing to read.  
>Try reading about the history of Jews in Russia some time.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] No thanks.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] She thinsk I don't like her?  
>Now you are typing bad  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I meant "thinks"  
>I know. I said don't worry about it.  
>she will like if you read to her.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] I was afraid *she* didn't like *me*  
>Of course she does. Don't be stupid.  
>She says you are amazing with your sword  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] Don't you know it  
>HIKARU!! NOT AT WORK!!  
>you are deprived.  
[Lt. Sulu, Hikaru W.] "depraved"  
>whatever.

\---

Dear Jo,

Thank you for explaining the ritual in such a detailed manner. I am curious to know why the bread is anthropomorphized. Bread does not "get embarrassed." Perhaps it is a metaphor for something else or related to the reason for covering the head. A prescribed day of rest is logical. We have this as well so that we may meditate or study as is appropriate and I do the greater majority of my research during this time.

I do not know whether mathematics is "fun," but the logic is simple and straightforward. Practicing simple multiplication such as that which you described can be relaxing. My course of study includes far more mathematical logic than arithmetic and we will soon begin learning computational complexity theory and variational calculus, but I prefer the more straightforward areas of mathematics over the theoretical.

It is unfortunate that your emotional reaction to the character's apparent death was so strong. I believe that the journey of the Little Prince is not to be taken literally but I lack the metaphorical language to explain. I will meditate on the imagery and though I do not have the relevant cultural context, perhaps a thorough analysis of the story will assist you in maintaining emotional control should a similar situation arise.

I shall attempt to acquire a copy of _The Three Musketeers_. I am intrigued by your description and pleased to discover that Lt. Sulu does not dislike you. Am I correct in the assumption that hugging one who is emotionally distresed conveys empathy? We do not "hug," but we express empathy for another's difficulty. This an essential element of socialization. Perhaps you will become friends with Lt. Sulu as well?

T'Lia and I spoke at length in regards to her life on Vulcan and she told me of a son who was approximately my age when our planet was destroyed. It was logical to pair her with a male child of the same approximate age, but I will never replace him - nor do I wish to. It is impossible to reproduce the close bond formed between a mother and her child and while it is not love as you understand it, it is difficult when that bond is suddenly severed. I explained that I have this same difficulty. She told me of an artist at the cultural center who paints portraits of those who were lost when Vulcan was destroyed. Since no records remain of my parents or of her son and husband, T'Lia will make an attempt to contact her. Perhaps she will also paint the wife that Sovess lost. We do not have their _katra_ , but we have our memories, and it is only logical to create a visual record of their existence.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

Qd8-e7  



	37. Hey, bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk has big thinky thoughts on survival and strong opinions about facial hair. Passover on the Enterprise is an all-around success.

Hey bro,

I am almost convinced that I want, like, a million kids because if they turn out half as awesome as Jo, it would be worth it. I swear she's got the entire ship wrapped around her tiny little finger and if she were to sit in The Chair and say we're going to a planet full of unicorns and rainbows, Chekov would freakin' find a planet with unicorns and rainbows and we'd go there and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it. I'm not even kidding.

You still do Passover, right? Could you get me a copy of the Haggadah you use?

How's Deneva? Kiss the wife and sprogs for me, willya?

-Jim

\---

Hey Captain Hero,

Deneva's gorgeous - good schools for the kids and there's a playground right outside our apartment. Aurelan's about to bust now and it's just a matter of time before #3 comes to see us. We've just about settled on Julius as a first name, but we're not set on a middle name yet. You should see her- she looks like a grape on a toothpick, but it's about the sexiest thing you can imagine. I don't suppose your boyfriend is going to get pregnant, but there are certain procedures you can have done- he could install a uterus for you. You'd be a great mom - and woe be to any Klingon or Romulan who crossed the path of a pregnant and hormonal Jim Kirk.

I'd pay money for the video.

Any reason you're not having your traditional Passover bacon cheeseburger? I'm sending the file along with some pictures. Talked to Mom lately?

Talk to you soon,

-Sam

\---

Hey Sam,

I'm not having a uterus installed. That's just wrong, bro, so I'm going to pretend I didn't read that.

Julius? Really? That's a bit Roman don't you think?

It's just that I've been thinking about what Jo went through, about Tarsus, about Vulcan- I want to somehow acknowledge the fact that we survived and to remember those who didn't. I don't really know what I'm doing and I'm probably mixing my metaphors, but I feel like living through Tarsus was like getting out of motherfucking Egypt and Spock- I mean, geez, Nero tried to eradicate his entire race. Does that sound familiar to you?

Anyway, Bones and I talked about reopening old wounds because that's what it feels like every time Tarsus comes up and he said that this is something that never really healed in the first place. Injuries need attention to heal; they need to be taken care of, cleaned, sealed up. When it becomes a scar, we tell the story of it to learn from what happened and to teach others. This is what I get for using this kind of metaphor with a doctor. Well, it got me thinking and telling a story and drinking a shitload of wine is something I can do. It's not that I just want to get smashed to forget or anything. I tried that our first day back to Earth and I needed it at the time, but that's not what I'm going for.

I don't even know if there is a God, but this is a ship full of survivors and I want that to mean something good. Eloquent, I know. Man, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Everything's all jumbled up in my head and there's not a logical reason for it, but I have to do this. It feels right.

Jury's out on the bacon cheeseburger. It's kind of a Jim Kirk tradition.

Hey, let me know when mini-Sam #3 gets here. (Also? Nice pornstache, bro. It suits you.)

-Jim

\---

Jim,

Call. Mom. She worries about you and it doesn't help when you don't talk to her. What, Mr. Hero of the Federation is too busy to talk to his own mother? When you don't call, I hear about it and I'm tired of hearing about it so CALL HER!

Re: Passover - Keep trusting your instincts, little brother. You don't have to reason it out right now. I mean, I'm supposed to be the sensible one that thinks things through. You're the one that drives cars off of cliffs and jumps out of a perfectly good shuttlecraft. Just keep doing your thing.

It sounds like you're dealing with some heavy shit right now, so reason isn't going to help much anyway. You're going to have to feel your way through this. Heh- Who knew Jim Kirk would grow some emotional maturity? Seriously, I'm impressed with you. You've grown a lot since you joined Starfleet and I still can't believe they put you in charge of the flagship, but I think you finally found where you belong. Five, six years ago, I was seriously worried you'd end up dead in a ditch somewhere. I still worry you'll end up dead, but at least it won't be in a ditch in BF Iowa. I want you to know il, m,sz,km,m,m,k,,, ,m kl.l.l.,..,,mkmlklklk

Alex says hi.

ll.l.l.l,kljkk,l..,l.,.m,klkl;l;l;l.klk,klkl

He says he misses you. Anyway, I want you to know you're still my favorite brother.

And, yeah, "Julius" is a Roman name - Mr. James Tiberius Kirk. I'm ignoring the "pornstache" comment.

Call mom.  
-Sam

\---

Sam,

Okay, okay, I get it, Wiseass Gamgee. I'll send mom a message. Geez, can't a guy get a break? I've got to make sure everything's ready for tonight. Ship's chef has really outdone herself this time and we picked up some wine from Denobula. I don't know if it's any good, but it can't be any worse than Maneschewitz. Well, come to think of it, it could. There are worse things than Maneschewitz. It's not kosher wine, anyway, but it will have to do. I don't think most of the crew will mind.

Big smoochies for little Al and Peter, too.

I promise I'll send mom a message after I recover from tomorrow's hangover. Scout's honor.

Thanks, Big Brother.  
-Jim

P.S.  
PORNSTACHE!

\---

[UNN News feed: 26 March, 2260]  
>Hummingbird nest gains three hundred million followers. Eggs to hatch soon.  
>Greystone Industries stock still in freefall. Vergis Corporation may be vying for buyout.  
>Cadbury places casting call for spokesperson: "This place is like a zoo!" according to PR directors.  
>"Prince" Jonah Kuhio wins annual lua competition in Hawai'i for 6th consecutive year. Many gather to celebrate.

\---

Spock,

I didn't believe you when you said we were friends, even after the mind meld... thingy- which was weird, by the way. I felt you feeling something for me that didn't make sense at the time and that I'm still trying to figure out now. In the few months that the other you and I have been working together, we've been great partners and he's the best first officer a guy could ask for, but it's not been that easy friendship that you and the other me seemed to have. I don't even know how to talk about this, but there was something there for you that just isn't for me and Spock. He's been trying - too hard, I think, so it wasn't until last night that I started to understand what you meant- felt- thought- whatever.

We had a Passover Seder in the mess hall last night. I don't know how familiar you are with it, but there was a lot of mediocre wine and a Federation standard ton of food. Anyway, after everyone had gone to bed, it was just me and the other you and he thanked me. I was a little bit drunk, but the way he said "Thank you, Jim" really meant a lot to me and I'm not a hundred percent sure why. We talked all night about just about everything and I know it's not the same as what I felt from you about the other me, but I think it's safe to say that we're friends now. It's like we're brothers, but that's not right either. I love my brother and I'd do anything for him, but there's a seed of something that's more or different. I don't want to fuck this up.

I think I'm rambling because I'm tired, so you'll have to forgive me. I haven't slept yet, so I'd better sign off before Bones hypos me into next Tuesday.

Live long and prosper,  
-Jim

\---

Jim,

I am pleased to hear that you have begun to connect with my counterpart. I feared that things had changed too much, that the feelings you had for Dr. McCoy would leave no room for the bond that I hoped would form between you and my younger self. It was a selfish gesture on my part to try to force you both into something that took years to establish between me and my Jim. The truth is that I miss him, terribly. He was much more than a friend to me and seeing you, so young and full of life, was both a great comfort and served to highlight that which I had lost, so I hope you will forgive me for expecting too much, too soon. I cannot say whether the friendship between you and my counterpart will be of the same nature as that between the Jim I knew and myself, but I can encourage you to cultivate that seed. There is a high probability that the feeling, as they say, is mutual, so do not fear that you will fail, my friend.

I am somewhat familiar with the ritual and celebrated with Admiral Chekov once or twice after he retired from Starfleet. He described to me once how the rituals of his ancestors became more meaningful for him in his old age and that, even though the blessings and actions were many hundreds of years old, they retained meaning and relevance for him. The Jewish people are survivors, as are Vulcans today, and I admire their spirit of persistence and unabashed pride in being themselves. I imagine that it was not only the story of survival, but also the idea of choosing the more difficult path because it was the right path that likely struck a chord with my younger self.

Rest well, my old friend, and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Peace and long life,  
-Spock

\---

Sam,

Long story short, Chekov plotzed, Gaila and Diora (the two Orions onboard) cried, and Spock and I stayed up all night talking. Jo trying to read Hebrew is pretty damned adorable. We had to give her little hints to find the afikomen, but she finally figured out that we stored it in the pattern buffer. Chekov helped her recover it. I'm pretty sure Riley and Diora hooked up at the end, so all in all it was a pretty big success.

How did yours go?

I'm sending a message to mom right after I send this one.

-Jim

\---

Mom,

We had a Passover Seder on the Enterprise last night and I think it went pretty well. Jo seemed to have a good time, but she passed out before we finished and Bones just held her in his lap until the end. It was funny because, at the time, I was thinking that seeing her asleep in Bones' arms was the best thing since ever and that it kind of made me want to have kids of my own someday when Chekov said, out loud, almost exactly what I was thinking. I think he's about convinced Sulu. It was his idea to hide the afikomen in the pattern buffer and I think he's working on equations to beam all of the chametz off of the ship for the duration of Pesach. The kid is scary smart and I think he can do it.

I've been talking to Sam and he says that he's loving Deneva. I'm glad he's found a nice place to raise the sprogs and even though I'll never be the domestic type, having Jo around makes me think that one day I might want to raise one of my own. Maybe I shouldn't reproduce, but Bones is already a great dad and I think I could get used to the idea. Sam also tells me that Aurelan's going to pop at any moment, so #3 is going to be here soon. I'm kind of excited.

Things went pretty well with the Denobulans. They're working on a PR campaign to reduce birthrate since overpopulation is their primary problem. It's amazing to see the ways in which they've adapted to close-quarter living. The wine we picked up was grown, picked, and produced by the inhabitants of one particular high rise apartment building. It was mediocre stuff, but impressive, considering what went into its production. I don't think their bid for Federation membership is going to be accepted, but I think they're at least on the right track.

I heard it through the grapevine (haha) that the USS Sagan is headed toward the Bassen Rift. The R.S.E. has been quiet lately, but be careful all the same. Things are still weird with the Romulans because of Nero, but I think that as long as your Captain keeps a cool head, it'll be okay. I don't think they want a war any more than we do.

Love you, Mom, and be careful out there.

-Jim


	38. [Official Transmission: Starfleet Command]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprise receives new orders for a very special diplomatic mission.

Dear readers,  
I would like to show you evidence of my devotion to this series and my devotion to you. I was driving through Georgia on my way home from looking at dead bugs in Florida and I literally drove miles out of my way because I was _so close_ to Peachtree City. I then suffered Atlanta rush hour traffic that, frankly, is of the Devil. I did bring you guys back a souvenir, though.  
  


This is as far as I got to go, but I went to Peachtree to get a picture for you guys.  
♥ -Jess

\---

[Official Transmission: Starfleet Command]

Report #: SC-β995487632  
Reporting Officer: Admiral Pike, Christopher J.  
Mission Type: Diplomatic  
Stardate: 2260.96  
Attachments: None  
Summary: Upon receipt of verbal confirmation, the _USS Enterprise_ , NCC-1701, is to proceed to the Vulcan Colony to retrieve the following dignitaries for transport to Earth:

Minister T'Pau  
Ambassador Sarek  
Sartor, Attaché to Minister T'Pau  
Selar, Attaché to Ambassador Sarek  
Savas, son of Varin

You are to extend the most generous hospitality the _Enterprise_ has to offer and to provide appropriate quarters and accommodation. Additionally, you are authorized to dock at Starbase 15 for supplies and a period of R &R not exceeding forty-eight (48) hours. The _Enterprise_ is to return to Earth before stardate 2260.103

[End Report]  
[End Transmission]

\---

[Official Transmission: USS Enterprise NCC-1701]

Orders received.  
Confirmation: Lt. Uhura, N. Serial #558-9682A

[End Transmission]

\---

Jim,

I waited as long as I could to get you back to Earth and made a personal apology to Jo's mother for the delay, but there's only so long a man can hold up against a woman like that. I'd rather shove a wolverine up a Klingon's ass than piss her off. She's a shrewd woman. I like her.

I could only manage forty-eight hours of leave, but you'll have another week when you get home. I only wish there was more I could do, but Ambassador Sarek specifically requested the _Enterprise_ and the brass can't say no to him, so, as per your orders, get them back here before the week's out.

My regards to Joanna and Dr. McCoy.  
Be safe out there,  
-Pike

\---

Dear Mama,

Guess what!  
I'm coming home! I'm so excited 'cause it's great being with Daddy on the ship and everyone's been so nice and all, but I miss you, Mama, and I miss Hippo and Saturn and my tree and I can't wait to sleep in my own bed and to see if Earth smells different now that I've been gone awhile and it's springtime so there's flowers blooming and we can plant stuff in the garden like we do every year and maybe this year I can help with canning tomatoes 'cause I sure miss your cooking, Mama, I even miss your chili and I don't usually like chili, but I'd rather have your chili than any of the stuff in the mess hall. Do you have any idea how often they serve meatloaf? 'Cause I'm glad I'm a vegetarian and don't have to eat it, but I'm about tired of veggie burgers which are dumb 'cause it ain't meat, so why'd anybody want to pretend it's something it ain't? I'm vegetarian! I don't want meat! And you know what else? We're gonna go get Savas and we'll get to spend the WHOLE WEEK together! Well, actually, it's only five days 'cause we're going to go to a starbase for a couple of days to load up on fancy stuff for having Miss T'Pau over like fresh food and I don't know what all else, but Daddy and Uncle Jim say that I can go to the important dinners and stuff since I'm already acquainted with the minister (is what Uncle Jim said exactly). And you know what? Uncle Jim says that there's this Chinese restaurant on the starbase where they've got this dessert that's a chocolate cake that they set on fire before they serve it! I _gotta_ see that!

Oh, Mama?  
Do you reckon Savas could come over? I mean, if it's okay with Miss T'Pau? We could have a sleepover and he could learn a lot about our culture while he's there. There's a few weeks before the Starfleet summer program starts and he won't have any kids to play with that he knows. Peas and carrots, Mama? I'm making my please face with the big eyes.

Uncle Jim says to write it like this:  
O.O

Love you,  
SEE YOU IN A WEEK!  
-Jo

\---

Dear Jo,

I knew that Admiral Pike was a good man and would get you home as soon as he could. Bless his heart, he's put up with all my worrying and carrying on these past few weeks and now you're going to be home in a week! I'll have to send him a thank you for being so helpful and considerate. You should send him a thank you note, too.  
Of _course_ Savas can come visit, sweetie. I'm anxious to meet this young man who has taken up so much of your attention lately. I'll fix up the spare room for him to sleep in and we can go to the Universe of Coke museum in Atlanta while he's here. There's to be an Earth Day celebration up in Tyrone next week and Mr. Phillips and I were going to go anyway, so we'll all go together and it should be lots of fun for everybody. I don't suppose Vulcans have fun _as such_ , but if nothing else, he should find it interesting. You said he wants to learn about Earth cultures, so I'll try and think up some other things he can do while he's here.  
Mr. Phillips had an idea that I thought you might like. Instead of having a barbecue when you get back (and to welcome your little friend, of course) we could have a veggie roast. If you don't want to, we can just stay home and not make a fuss. It makes no difference to me, I just want you home safe.  
I love you, baby, and I'm counting the minutes 'til you come home.

Love,  
-Mama

\---

Dear Uncle Chris,

Mama said I should write you a thank-you note even though I was gonna see you when we got back anyway. I'm glad to be getting back to Earth, though, 'cause I feel like I've been off planet forever. Thanks for everything and even though Cerberus was awful, I made some friends and I had a good time on the Enterprise and I got to be with my daddy. I might have changed my mind some about being on a starship. Once I got used to it, it was a lot of fun.

See you soon,  
-Jo

\---

Dear Savas,

Guess what!  
We're coming to get you to take you back to Earth for the summer program, but we're gonna get there early so Mama said you could stay over at our house 'til it was time to go to San Francisco. There ain't a whole lot to do in Peach Tree, but there's stuff in Atlanta and an Earth Day thing up in Tyrone (which ain't too far). Sometimes we have picnics in Fayetteville and you can see my school and the place by the pine trees where I meditate during recess and I can show you my tree and my room and you can meet Hippocrates, our dog, and Daddy's horse, Saturn. Sundance is real pregnant by now and she's meant to have her pony in August, is what Gram says. Gram is gonna love you. She's way more logical than I ever could be, you'll like her.

Anyway, we gotta ask whoever is in charge of you if it's okay. I reckon that's Miss T'Pau and since it's a cultural exchange program, I don't see any reason she'd say no to it. You let me know what she says, okay?

Ll&p  
-Jo

P.S. We're at Starbase 15 right now and Daddy and Uncle Jim are gonna take me to a Chinese restaurant where they've got this chocolate cake they set on fire before you eat it. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, I made a washrag for you. It's green.

\---

Dear Jo,

I am most grateful for your hospitality and I would certainly prefer to stay in Georgia in the interim between our arrival to Earth and the commencement of the the summer program, but I do not think it is appropriate for me to write to Minister T'Pau. I could contact one of her aides, perhaps, but I am not confident that my skills in formal writing are sufficient for such a task. I will think of a way in which to achieve our goal and present my contingency plans to you when I have formed them.

I am compiling a list of questions to ask the various crewmembers of the _Enterprise_ in anticipation of our voyage, and I await more information as regards to this cake so that I may enter it into the database of human food I have constructed. "Comfort food" is a fascinating concept and I am curious as to whether there is a correlation between nutritional content of a particular food item and the emotion associated with that food item. I have insufficient data to perform even a preliminary analysis, but I hope to compile a more comprehensive list, given the cross-section of cultural associations on the ship. Would you be willing to assist me?

I am prepared for the trip and shall see you when you arrive at New Vulcan.

Live long and prosper,  
-Savas

\---

Dear Savas,

Don't worry, I'll write Miss T'Pau for you. There's no reason to be nervous about it, she's real nice.

See ya real soon!  
-Jo

\---

Dear Miss T'Pau,

How are you? I'm doing just fine. I got your frequency from Miss Uhura and Uncle Jim said it was okay, considering the nature of my business. I was wondering if it would be all right if Savas stayed at my house in Peach Tree, Georgia (which is near to Atlanta, in case you don't know) until it's time for us to be in San Francisco. He's doing research on human cultures and we both figure that he can do better at it if he stays with a human family and sees what we're really like at home. My Mama's got an extra room all fixed up for him and we're already thinking up cultural things we can do that he can analyze if he wants to.

Live long and prosper,  
-Miss Joanna McCoy

\---

Miss Joanna McCoy,

Minister T'Pau wishes to inform you that she has read your letter and, after careful consideration, has found your proposal agreeable. As head of the New Vulcan Science Academy, she holds the pursuit of knowledge in high regard and seeks to uphold the idea that wide experience increases wisdom. We have notified Savas of the change in living arrangements.

Live long and prosper,  
Sartor  
Aide to Minister T'Pau

\---

[UNN News feed: 9 April, 2260]  
>Twenty-nine miners dead in Coridian disaster. Tellarites deny involvement, Mine Safety and Health Administration investigates history of safety violations.  
>Capellans deny topaline mining rights to Federation. Negotiations underway.  
>Janus VI continuing to experience equipment failure. Pergium extraction to cease until MSHA gives green-light.  
>Halkans still refusing to negotiate with Federation for dilithium rights.  



	39. Personal Log

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savas spends some time getting to know the Enterprise crew.

Day 1 aboard the Enterprise:

Joanna was most spirited in her welcome, but thankfully waited until minister T'Pau had exited the transporter room before embracing me. I do not know if I shall ever become accustomed to such an exuberant greeting. It was not unwelcome, of course, but it was most startling. Additionally, I do not think she has stopped talking since my arrival. She has informed me of both "cool things" and "awful stuff" about living on the _Enterprise_ , but I was unable to make a list. Under the category of "cool things" are, according to her assessment, the observation deck, the viewscreen on the bridge, the engine room, and "pretty much all of it." Under the category of "awful stuff" is the frequency at which they serve meatloaf and "veggie burgers" and the absence of a playground. Perhaps I shall have a more comprehensive list at the conclusion of our journey.

My quarters for the duration will be shared with Ambassador Sarek and his attaché, but I do not think I shall use them for much more than sleeping. There is much to be learned aboard the _Enterprise_ and I have little time. I shall begin with Lieutenant Commander Scott. His pronunciation of Standard is difficult to understand and I would like to study his dialect so that I may better comprehend his speech. Additionally, I am fascinated by his choice in formal attire. Joanna tells me it is referred to as a "kilt" and that it is the traditional garment of his people.

\---

Personal log  
Lt Cmdr Scott, Montgomery E.

If I don't get me some alone time with my tech manuals, a nice corned beef on rye, and something aged at least eighteen years, I'm gonna lose it. Keenser's a right fellow and a fine engineer, but a man has needs. A scotch and a sandwich, that's all I want, really. Okay, and the current issue of _Polymers for Advanced Technologies_ \- it's the transparent aluminum issue with the molecular structure all laid out in the centerfold, nice and pretty, like I like it. I'll be manipulating that image for a week solid, if ya know what I mean.

Anyway, Jo and the Vulcan lad came down to see me today. He's inquisitive, that one. I like him! I couldn't say no, even though I'm in up to my eyeballs trying to rig together a coolant system repair. Captain Blondie's gonna have to be a wee bit more careful with our lady or he and I are gonna have words. She's leaking like my mother's incontinent dog and as soon as we patch one hole, we find another! It's enough to drive a man to drink - not that I wasn't going to in the first place, but that's not the point.

He asked me about my kilt and Scotland, so I told him about the Jacobite uprising and my clan tartan and I sang some songs that, frankly, sound better when you've had a few. He didn't seem to mind that I was off-key or else he couldn't tell. I wonder if there's a tartan for Vulcans. There's a tartan for bloody everything, so I don't see why not. I imagine it would be a mathematical representation of... something. I don't know what- pointed ears, maybe. Euler's number would make a handsome tartan, I imagine. You'd have to limit it to, like, five digits or something. Otherwise it would be huge- the never-ending tartan. You'd have to bend space-time to make a kilt from it.

I've just had a thought: pleated space-time. I'll have to chat with Ensign Jailbait about that one later.

Odd, I think, that Jo repeated practically everything I said. How it is that he could understand her and not me, I don't know. He seemed to get the hang of it at the end, though, so there's hope for him yet. He said, "your dialect is most intriguing and I shall have to perform a thorough analysis of your vowel usage." My only regret is that there's not a single haggis for light years. I don't eat the stuff myself, nobody really does, but he was curious about traditional foods, so I told him about it. Jo made the best face I've seen since I fed sardines to Keenser a month into my Delta Vega exile.

Lots of catch-up work to do tomorrow. I'm hoping to get the conduits between A-73 and A-542 resembling functional. I don't even want to think about the power drain on deck seven, aft. I suspect the damage to terminal 7-995 has affected the power junction and that the ion collectors are totally banjaxed. It'll be a tight squeeze to fix and the prospect of welding at that angle is not my idea of a good time. It's going to be a very long day.

\---

Personal log  
April 10, 2260

Yesterday we went and saw Uncle Scotty so that Savas could get some data for his cultural analysis project and he thought it was real informative, but I'd just as soon that I'd never known about haggis. If I hadn't been vegetarian already, I'd have been put off of meat for a month at least. That's the nastiest thing I ever heard of and I know Luanne Campbell who don't ever sanitize her hands in the restroom. I don't look forward to seeing her again, but I reckon I'll just have kill her with logic. Well, not really _kill_ her, but keep her from getting on my last nerve. It's like killing her with kindness, only with logic, see.

There was a nice dinner with all the Vulcans, even Mr. Spock on account of Ambassador Sarek's his daddy and he's also the first officer. People say that Vulcans don't show emotion in their faces, but that ain't quite right. I think you just got to know what to look for. You know how you get when your mama is washing the dirt off your face with spit and you wish she wouldn't 'cause your friends are watching, but you can't get away? Mr. Spock looked like that. And then? He looked at Daddy and Uncle Jim like he was saying "Help!" Miss T'Pau said my Vulcan is getting better, but I know I've got a lot of practicing to do still. I got the greeting almost right, though. She said so. I told Savas that she was real nice, but he was so nervous the whole time even though he said he wasn't. We're gonna go see Mr. Riley tomorrow 'cause Savas said he wanted to make a comparison or something. I already told him everything Mr. Riley told me about Ireland before, but he said he'd have ice cream for us, which Savas was real curious about. I'm only curious about what flavor he's got. I can't say no to ice cream! Uncle Jim will be _so_ jealous!

\---

Dear Sister Therese,

I'm sending along a few credits, so please don't refuse them again. I know you have everything you need, but I'm sending this for the things that you want or maybe for something for the kids like a new basketball court or Christmas presents or something. My money's just as good as everyone else's and besides, you and Starfleet are the only family I've got. Anyway, I've got plenty and not much to spend it on out here, so I hope it does you some good.

How's the Martin kid? He sounds a lot like me at that age, but I turned out alright, didn't I? He'll be fine, I'm sure of it. Does he like baseball? Maybe Father Jerome can watch a game with him and try the old "peanuts and crackerjacks" trick - it worked on me like a charm.

I've been seeing the beautiful Miss Diora who is as green as Ireland herself and twice as beautiful. She laughs when I sing to her, but she always asks for another song, so I think she likes it. Her favorite is "Daughters of Erin," but she always asks me to sing it as "Daughters of Orion!" Like my father before me and his father before him, I must confess that I have a weakness for a pretty girl with a nice laugh. Sure, Orion girls have a reputation, but she's not like that. She's a nice girl and maybe you'll get to meet her soon. We're supposed to have a week of leave when we arrive at Earth, so I'll be sure visit as long as I can. Scotty has me patching coolant leaks this week and I'm afraid I might have to work through part of my leave.

I am staying warm and thank you for asking. The ship is temperature controlled, but I also have the quilt that the Sisters made for me, just in case. In fact, Miss McCoy and her Vulcan beau came over for ice cream and light conversation this afternoon and she commented on it. She said it was very nice and looked cozy. You may be receiving a letter from the Vulcan kid and I hope you don't mind me giving him your subspace frequency, but he had a lot of questions I couldn't answer. He asked me about everything from how a quilt is constructed to things like the reasons for becoming a nun. I said he'd have to ask one.

As always, my best to everyone.

See you soon,  
-Kevin

\---

Mama,

We arrive at Earth tomorrow and I'm bringing home a couple new Denobulan songs that I picked up while we were there. They almost never sing solo and there are complex harmonies layered on top of each other, so I won't do it justice, but I think you'll like them all the same. I learned three love songs and one children's song about a boy and some kind of animal that resembles a mouse.

It's on again with Spock. I know Christine has feelings for him, but it isn't his fault and I am trying not to be jealous. I just don't think she'd understand him like I do. Maybe, all things considered, he should find some nice Vulcan woman to have lots of little Vulcan babies with, but he insists that it isn't necessary. How could it not be necessary?! He just tells me, "Do not concern yourself with this matter" and that's the end of it. No matter how much I ask or how I ask, he won't say anything. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he's half-human.

Speaking of little Vulcan babies, Savas has got it _bad_ for Jo. I know that look and the way his ears turn a little green at the ends. They came by this afternoon to ask me about my culture and I taught them a little Swahili and showed them some of my khangas. I still have the one you gave me for my sweet sixteen - the one with the lion on it that says "Naogopa simba na meno yake siogopi mtu kwa maneno yake." I don't wear it anymore for fear that it will wear out, but it's still my favorite.

In other news, Riley's hooked up with Diora from Engineering. I almost feel terrible for reading their intership comms, but anything that may not comply with Starfleet regs on appropriate language gets flagged and sent to my console. I ignore most of it, but you should read the stuff Kirk sends to McCoy. After rooming with Gaila, nothing shocks me anymore.

I hope you're not planning a party. I just want a few quiet days at home.

Love you,  
-Nyota

\---

>Relax, Pavel.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Are you sure it will be fine?  
>Your mom is going to love me.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] And Papa?  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] and Uncle Vanya?  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] D: what about Babushka?! she is very picky for me  
>I'll bring them flowers, it's going to be okay. Girls like flowers, right?  
>You're freaking out over nothing  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] IT IS NOT NOTHING!  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] what if they hate you?!  
>They won't hate me.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] but wahtif they do?!  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] *what if  
>They won't hate me.  
>Don't worry  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Uncle Vanya will ask about Texas  
>I don't really know much about Texas  
>I've never been.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] How can you not go to Texas? it is so close to you!  
>Have you ever been to Spain?  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] No.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Why would I go to Spain?  
>I rest my case.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] What's in Spain?  
>Madrid.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] You're trying to be funny  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] It is not working  
>I thought that shit was funny.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Your shit is not funny  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Anyway, do you remember how I taught you?  
>Yeah, but I don't think I can spell it  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] You do not have to spell it, you only have to say it.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] We can practice on the shuttle  
>I'm going to murder the pronunciation, I hope you know  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] I know  
>Thanks for the vote of confidence.  
>How long?  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Five minutes, forty-three seconds  
>Screw your courage to the sticking place, you'll be fien  
>*fine  
>we'll both be fine  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] You should not talk dirty to me now  
>??  
>OH! That's Shakespeare. Hamlet.  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Four minutes, fifty-two seconds  
>coming out of warp in 3  
>2  
>1  
>There she is.  
>It's good to be home  
[Ens. Chekov, Pavel A.] Says you.  
>Beginning docking procedure...

\---

[UNN News feed: 13 April, 2260]  
>Heavy rains cause flash-flooding in Northeastern continent on Denobula. Hundreds of thousands may lose homes.  
>Dilithium contamination clean-up underway in Surya Bay, Risa. Federation states fishing is safe, but tourism suffers.  
>Janus VI miners sue for lost wages. Four Mine Safety and Health Administration agents missing, presumed dead.  
>Metropolitan Museum of Art celebrates 390 years with exhibit on 19th century Earth art.  



	40. Dear Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo goes home, Nobody murders Sulu, Jim actually writes his mother, and Savas has a question.

Dear Readers,  
This is the end... or _is it?_ It is, at least, the end of this part of the story and if I might be a little sentimental for a minute, I'd just like to say that I never expected this to be a 40-part series. It was going to be a one-shot, but the reader response was so great that it kept me writing and constantly challenged me to make something you would enjoy. Though the experiences of the characters are completely fantastic 23rd century constructs, the emotions (even that of our dear Vulcan boy) are drawn from my own experiences and are, in many cases, more real than I can say. Thank you for this series and thank you for this opportunity to craft something I can be proud to call mine. May the Muses bless you with good stories and good theater.

Your faithful servant,  
-Jess  


  
Dear Leonard,

Thank you for coming to Jo’s veggie roast. It meant a lot to her that you were there and I’m glad you got a chance to meet Lawrence. Jim seems like a good man and I really hope he does right by you. You don’t really get a sense of who he is from the news feeds and I’m pleased to have had the chance to get to know him a little. He tolerated the Kaplanski boys very well and he’s good with Jo, too. Bill and Lenny are a handful, but they’re good kids. And I’ll never forget what Jim said to Mary Cosgrove. I shouldn’t have laughed, but it’s about time somebody showed her up. I see now why Starfleet puts such stock in his diplomatic ability.

Tomorrow we’ll be going up to Dahlonega for the bluegrass festival. Savas saw somebody playing banjo at the farmer’s market this morning and was intrigued by it, so we’re taking a day trip. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s sweet on Jo, but he seems like a nice boy, so I don’t reckon she’s in trouble yet. I’ll keep an eye on him just the same. I talked to my cousin Michael yesterday and he’ll be coming down from Nashville this weekend with his boyfriend. He offered to bring his phaser rifle to polish on the front porch, but I told him it wouldn’t be necessary— Savas is a good kid.

Anyhow, this is going to be hard to say because I’ve got my pride, but you’re a good daddy to Jo. I’m not sorry we split up, but I do regret keeping her from you. All I ever wanted was to provide for her and keep her safe and in these past few weeks, you did that when I couldn’t. If you could have done it without doing some damn fool thing like joining Starfleet, that would have been a far sight better, but I’m still grateful for what you did for our little girl. Thank you.

I’m talking to my lawyer about adjusting the custody agreement, so you should be getting some documents from them pretty soon. In the mean time, I’ll make sure she writes to you and we can talk about setting up video for her birthday and Christmas and so on.

You should be hearing from Jo sometime today. She’s outside playing and showing Savas around right now.

I wish you well, Leonard, I really do.

Sincerely,  
-Jocelyn

\---

Dear Daddy,

I miss you already! Sorry it took me so long to write to you, but me and Savas have been busy seeing everything there is to see around here. It ain’t much, but I showed him my tree and my school and we went to the farmer’s market this morning and Mama almost got him a chocolate chip cookie, but I said peanut butter would be better since Savas can’t have chocolate ‘till he’s bigger. I guess she forgot. Anyway, we’re going up to a bluegrass festival this weekend and then Monday, Mr. Phillips said that I could take a test to see if I have to stay in school for the last few weeks before summer vacation and if I don’t have to, he said we’d do something special, but I don’t know what that is. He said that I could call him Lawrence when we’re not in school, but I keep getting mixed up. I don’t know what I think about Mama having a teacher for her boyfriend, but at least it’s better than Peter and his stupid horses.

Anyway, we were outside looking at the environment because Savas wanted to know about the names of the plants and trees and stuff and even though I don’t know the names of everything, it was fun to go out and look. Maybe Uncle Hikaru knows a book I can use to identify stuff. Would you ask him? Anyway, Luanne came up and started being nasty to me and you know what happened then? Savas pretended not to understand what she was talking about and then asked her lots of questions she couldn’t answer so she ended up looking dumb and stomped away in her prissy pink dress all mad. And then you know what? He told her to “Live long and prosper” and I about DIED! It was the _best ever_! After that we went to my tree and meditated some and then Savas looked in my brain, which was really cool! I know I said that I hated it when Miss Marina, my old counselor, did it, but she didn’t ever once ask me if she could and besides, I tell Savas all my inside thoughts anyway because he’s my friend and Miss Marina ain’t and he tells me his inside thoughts, too, so I didn’t see anything I didn’t know about already and he didn’t see anything he didn’t know about already anyway. I know you know that Vulcans got emotions and all and that they mostly don’t show them, but I could tell that Savas was real happy even though he misses his family and I’m real happy too, even though I miss you lots. I heard from Miss Caryn that Miss Marina ain’t ever coming back to Peach Tree ‘cause she said she needed an “extended rest” or something. I ain’t sad about that.

I hope I get to go on the Enterprise again. It was lots of fun and everybody was so nice, but next time I think we should do it without any pathogens or anything.

Uncle Jim was SO FUNNY at the veggie roast and Bill & Lenny are still talking about getting to meet him and Bill says he wants to be a starship captain when he grows up. Lenny says he wants to be a Vulcan when he grows up, but that’s about the most illogical thing I’ve heard all week.

Mama says to make sure I write to you every day and that she’ll try to get video feeds for my birthday and stuff.

Be sure to tell everybody I said “Hi” and tell Dyadya Pavel that I hope his mama likes Uncle Hikaru and that he should write me to tell me how it went. He was real worried about it, but I figure Uncle Hikaru would probably be alright. Tell Aunt Nyota that I miss her braiding my hair every day and tell Mr. Spock that I’m going to keep up with my lessons. I hope I see everybody real soon!

Love you, Daddy!  
-Jo

\---

Dear Yaninka,

I miss you very much, but I am certain you are happy to be home again. As for me, I am happy to be on the Enterprise again. You will be glad to know that nobody has murdered Hikaru for dating me, especially not Babushka, who is very picky for me. Already she is asking me about grandchildren! We also went to San Francisco to spend time with Hikaru’s family. Do not tell, but I got lost when we were walking around the city. I would be very embarrassed if anyone knew I got lost anywhere, but we were in a part of the city that I did not know! I only know the Academy campus. I have also learned that I am very glad to be an only child and that when I am ready to be a papa, we will only have one baby. You must know what I mean by this because you are an only child like me.

If it is okay with your mama and papa, I would like to be pen-pals with you. Perhaps also, we can play chess over subspace. Do you know how the notations work? If you do not, I will teach you.

Hikaru misses you as well. He does not say that he misses you, but he has been reading his _Three Musketeers_ book and sulking. Maybe he will write you as well. I will tell him to.

I am sending you _The Little Prince_ , since you liked it so much and I hope to read your letters very soon.

Love,  
-Дя́дя Павел

\---

Mom,

We’re headed to sector 39J to investigate some weird comms Starfleet is getting from there and while it was good to get a little time on Earth, I’m glad to be back on the _Enterprise._ I miss Earth, but there’s a lot of good for me to do out here.

Bones and I personally took Jo home and I barely held it together in front of his ex. I’m really going to miss that kid and I can’t stop thinking about how we’re out here, lightyears away, and no matter how much I want to protect her from everything bad in the Universe, I can’t. I don’t know how Bones does it without going insane. I want to be with him for as long as he and Jo can stand to have me around and it might last two weeks or forever, but I’ll take forever if I can get it.

“When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.”  
Much Ado About Nothing, II.iii

I’ve got it so bad I’m quoting the comedies. This is Sonnet 18 bad. I don’t think we’ll be picking out wedding china any time soon, but I’ve got a good thing going. Between Bones, Jo, and the _Enterprise_ crew, I’ve got the weirdest family in the Federation, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Anyway, Mom, I just wanted to thank you - for everything. First of all, without your extensive collection of romance novels, I never would have learned how to pick up girls. More seriously, I joined Starfleet because I wanted to do better than Dad, but I can’t ever be the kind of hero you are. I realize now that you stayed in Starfleet _for_ Sam and me, not in spite of us. I get that now. Thanks, Mom.

Love,  
-Jim

\---  
Ambassador Sarek,

I wish to express my gratitude for the advice you provided to me in regards to my analysis of Earth cultures. As you aptly stated, it is a fallacy to regard Earth as having a single culture when, in fact, it is a conglomeration of many different cultures. My analysis so far, though it is inconclusive, shows that there is great diversity in human culture even in regions that are only a few hundred kilometers distant and that the variation is far more extensive than previously thought. Though I am to prepare a detailed report upon the conclusion of my time here on Earth, I fear that there is far too much data to process in such a short time.

Additionally, there is a personal matter that is causing me some distress. I apologize for any impropriety, but I do not know any other Vulcan who is capable of advising me on this matter. Your marriage to Mrs. Grayson after your ambassadorial appointment was logical, given that it was necessary to observe human behavior, but is it possible for a human and a Vulcan to be compatible as mates? My guardians continue to search for a suitable mate for me, but I have yet to encounter a Vulcan female with whom I am compatible. Additionally, is it possible to inadvertently form a bond during mind meld? I was given to understand that it is not possible, but am at present unable to research the matter.

Thank you,  
-Savas, son of Varin

\--

[UNN News Feed: 22 April, 2260]  
>Cmdr. J. Crichton missing after test flight. Project scrapped due to safety concerns.  
>Thirty-three Coridian miners found alive in collapsed mine. Rescue efforts underway.  
>Delta IV marks fifth anniversary of devastating ion storm. Some districts still rebuilding.  
>USS Enterprise continuing mission to explore strange new worlds.  



End file.
